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SamiD
Posts:27
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| 06/08/2010 12:28 PM |
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| Heya again lol!!
I've been with my boyfriend a year and this fall he will be turning 16. And it will be a year and a half for us. I wanted to do something special for his birthday. My parents say I should get him a promise ring. Since we are both being raised as christians and he is a pastor's son, I will ask his parents if it is alright before I do anything. Both of our parents know how serious we are and how we talk about a future together. They know we are a little young, but figure it's great that we are not dating around and really want to commit. I love his parents and his parents love our family. But, I don't want to get on his moms bad side by posing this question about a promise ring. Even though she said she would love for me to be part of the family I just don't want to ruin things. We are ready to commit, but what would you do in this situation? My biggest fear is that his parents will hate me for wanting to promise thier little boy. ( He's youngest of 4) |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 06/09/2010 3:17 PM |
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wow, you've really thought this through, which shows your maturity!
Perhaps you could bring up the subject of commitments and promise rings to hear their perspectives. But, if you do that, be careful not to get too involved with what you hope to hear- just listen to what they think. Best of luck!!! |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 06/11/2010 11:10 PM |
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yeah wow! you're a lot more mature than I was at 15. I think that's when I had my first minor crush
Just what would this promise ring mean??? My brother an his gf wear promise rings...but they're like 26! Just my opinion...but I think I would rather the guy was the one to pose the question to the girl about promise rings. idk that's just me
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wjr1991
Posts:232
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| 06/12/2010 5:11 PM |
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| My first thought is actually to agree with Clare... it's somewhat odd for the girl to be the one to do that. I'm not saying it's an absolute no-no, but it's something to be considered. If your parents say you should get him one, I'd say really talk it out with them first. Ask them about that issue- of the girl making a move like that. Then ask his parents what they think, that way you've kinda got your bases covered... and last, and of the three, probably least... what would he think of that? |
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SamiD
Posts:27
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| 06/12/2010 6:39 PM |
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| That's what I told my mom. The guy should ask in my opinion, but since its not like and engagment ring I may consider it. My dad has cancer so I had to kind of grow up fast at a young age, I think a lot before I do something big like that so I yea. The more childish I am about making a descision the more I would probably regret even doing it. He's mature too though and probably more so than me. so I know we will make the right descision eventually. His parents at first thought it was just a crush and that he would get over me. She really likes me, but than again it's her little boy so I obey all her rules with him. I really love his mom and she likes me. but, his mom is also very protective and might take it as moving to fast. That's why I am being cautious. I feel that we are both ready to make a commitment, because we have talked a lot of issues out with everything about the future and the "what if" this happens. So I think if we just stand our grounds with eachother and really listen to eachother that we will be alright and he agrees. Clare- The promise ring for me would show his parents that I really am serious about him and that I really care for him as much as they do. They think that possibly we can change our minds, but we both know that is not what we want and if anything did happen that was huge I would rather go to counciling and solve the problem than break up. I guess basically I want to be able just to show his parents how much he means to me. I would rather he ask me and yes I did bring up how I knew some girls who were promised, but he doesn't get hints like that lol. I wish he did. I defenitley would not ask him to get married to me, he has to propose lol. But I figure, its a promise ring and it's his 16th and that i kinda just wanted to do something un expected for his birthday. |
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Scifi
Posts:68
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| 06/18/2010 8:37 PM |
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| I am inclined to agree with Clare and wjr1991. I think that it is the guy's job to do such a thing, and this is coming from a guys'd perspective... I don't know why but I'd feel weird if my girlfriend (just for clarification, I don't have a girlfriend but hypothetically if I did) gave me a promise ring... |
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"The purpose of Christianity is not to avoid difficulty, but to produce a character adequate to meet it when it comes. It does not make life easy; rather it tries to make us great enough for life." -- James L. Christensen
"For a small reward, a man will hurry away on a long journey; while for eternal life, many will hardly take a single step." Thomas a' Kempis (1380-1471)
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Scifi |
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SamiD
Posts:27
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| 06/19/2010 8:36 AM |
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| Yea I defenitley see your point. I think I have decided to not listen to my mother lol. It is kinda wierd for me to be giving the promise ring and I think it would just make things better if I didn't. So this time I'm going to listen to the comments and not do it. I mean we both understand eachother so when the time comes it will happen, But another thing now that i look at it is that..... I am not the type of person who would make such a bold move like that lol. So for starters I am just going to try to have a better relationship with him and get on his mom's further good side. Thanks everyone!! |
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