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staci
Posts:4
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| 06/21/2008 6:30 PM |
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| What do you do when a guy that you have liked for a good while and you had come to believe liked you back, just flat out tells you that "you are just like a sister to me"? how would you respond to that? |
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emilyjanelle
Posts:510
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| 06/22/2008 11:26 PM |
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aww, girl! i am SO feeling for you here! trust, trust, trust me. the exact, and i mean EXACT same thing happened to me about a year to a couple of months back...
i had started liking a guy back in late july/early august. after a month or two, i started realizing i really, honestly liked him, y'know? it wasn't just like, 'ooh, he's cute.' no, i really admired and trusted him for who he was as an individual, too. so around late october/november, i'm thinking things are all hunky-dory and we're bestest friends, haha. then late november, he sends me this message on my myspace and pretty much flat out tells me that, like you just said, 'you're like a sister to me' and he doesn't want to go any farther. i was, simply put, crushed. don't misunderstand me, nothing physical was going on, but still. i've said in my other posts, we women can be very emotional beings. and i thought things were really going awesome. and then he drops this bomb and i'm like, 'whaaa? what'd i do? why?!' it was horrible. but after re-reading the message [like 100 times, haha] and talking to my mom and close christian girl friends, i realized it was all for the better. i could tell both of us TOTALLY weren't ready for a relationship at all. and it took me trusting God and saying to Him like, 'okay, well i don't know why this is happening or what you have in store for us, but alright. i'm giving it over to You.' i had to submit to His will, y'know? God's timing is hardly ever our own.
but He has shown Himself so, so, so faithful. because guess what? throughout december, january, feburary, march, we just became much better friends than, i believe, we ever could've, if our feelings would've been in the way. now, he's told me he started liking me back in january, but that's besides the point. we still kept our feelings at bay until we felt it was in God's plan. and it's amazing how God will honor that, really. and here we go...i'm dating that guy for over two months now. what can i say? God's plans are always bigger and better than our own.
i just wanted to give you my example, to encourage you. because God is the faithful One, our Provider. He knows the desires of your heart and He'll honor them if you'll truly follow Him. i had to learn that lesson the hard way, throughout this past winter, but it was so worth it. and it's not like i've now put God on the back-burner, because i 'got what i wanted', or whatever. no way. i'm all the more grateful because His love has shown through in my life so abundantly. and that's more than anything i could ever ask or hope for, right?
so i would respond with, simply, prayer. pray to God for peace, understanding, wisdom. go to your parents, if you feel you can, about this. or a trusted christian adult in your church or youthgroup. because, even though we may not believe it sometimes, they've gone through so many similar things and have so much stuff to teach us. but above all, seek Him, is all i can tell you. you can never fail when you run after the King.
:] <3 |
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You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 06/24/2008 8:42 AM |
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I honestly dont know what Id do... If I was told that, o.k. it would be better than the guy flat out saying he doesnt like you and not talk to you ever again, but still, I get what you're saying! and sadly, I have used that line on a guy, and even though I liked him, it wasnt in God's plan, so I stopped the relationship before anything happened. It was hard, but yeah...
I'd probably say to him "I love you like a brother," but that's just me. dont actually say that unless you're willing to just be friends. and I mean that! if it's truelly not meant to be, ask God to help you get over him and love him the way God loves us! I had to do that with a guy I liked for 9 yrs, and then he stopped talking to me when he found out. its taken 2 or so years for us to restore our friendship, and it wont be the same, but I can honestly say I care for him like a sister cares for her brother, but its only because of God's help Im able to do so...
I dont know what else to say, So I hope I helped...
Hugs!! |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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wjr1991
Posts:232
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| 06/25/2008 3:35 PM |
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| For the record, I'd feel the same way if a gal friend I'd liked for a long time told me she loved me like a brother, but nothing more... |
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Support the cause at velociraptorz.org |
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katesoph
Posts:4
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| 06/25/2008 4:58 PM |
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Uh well that happens sometimes. I know it may hurt but,maybe it was meant to be like that. God has a reason for everything.I think it's just way better to be friends because it's good to know that he will always be there for you.
<3
katesoph |
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dramakween
Posts:15
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| 06/26/2008 5:33 PM |
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Ok, so my guy friend is the most gorgeous boy I have ever seen, but I started to get to know him and he can be a real jerk. That hurt cause I really liked him, even though I knew I'd never have a chance with him anyway. Then one night two of my girlfriends told me they thought he liked me so I just asked him not wanting any confusion his response was "lol really? Cause your the sister I always wanted"
at first that stung cause he didn't feel the same, but now I have found it better to be his "little sister" then to be anything more. We have fun rocking out in his car jamming to music and it is totally relaxed. But for everyone it's different, but thats just one way to make it work. |
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Merbear |
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emilyjanelle
Posts:510
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| 06/26/2008 11:00 PM |
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exactly, dramakween! see? if you would've just acted on your initial feelings and assumptions about him, you would've eventually found out he was a jerk and then been in way too deep, y'know? thank goodness you seem to have a head on your shoulders, girl! high five! that's such a great example of how we should just WAIT for God's timing and see what HE has planned, not just go ahead with what we think is right.
:] <3 |
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You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 06/27/2008 4:50 AM |
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Well, I think its time I shared one of my MANY stories...
I went to this performing arts school as a dance major. One of the other dance majors (a guy) was on my same bus route, and so we became realy good friends, and within a month, I started to really like him. He was funny, kind, generous and an AWESOME dancer. I tried to not let myself like him, but it didnt work. I then found out he was a smoker (strike one) a drinker (strike two) and the thing that shocked me the most, he was gay, but never had the guts to tell me (strike three) and to this day he still doesnt know that I know. but my point is, If i had let myself get carried away, I may have ended up in a really WEIRD relationship. He also wasnt a christian and I wasnt willing to compromise for that! So maybe its just Gods way of saying "I have better plans for you!" Just remember, You are Gods precious daughter, and you are worth far more than diamonds to him! Wait for the guy that loves you like that! |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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dramakween
Posts:15
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| 09/04/2008 10:08 PM |
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| Wow I'm glad that others agree! |
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Merbear |
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DaughterofEve
Posts:1
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| 09/04/2008 10:16 PM |
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| I would have to say that thay would be kind of a downer for me. |
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maddiegirl
Posts:210
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| 09/16/2008 6:57 PM |
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man, i know how that feels : you finally begin to think after months of finger-crossing and high hopes that he likes you and you're full of all those great feelings and then BAM life hits you full in the face. ouch.very painful experience.
I'd say that for now, just try to be friends with him. Encourage him, talk to him, basically act like a sister to him - or maybe not so much, depending on what you do to your brother.lol.(-: but just be there for him. don't spend too much time on him.i've learned it helps to put all of those horrible,inadequate feelings behind and push ahead. basically, forget about him. what i mean is you can still talk to him and encourage him and hang out with him, but he's already made it clear how he views your relationship. You can respond accordingly - don't keep thinking about him, dreaming about him, etc. , in other words "liking" him, so you won't be in a one-sided relationship. don't bog him down with your "like" - set it aside and focus on being a good friend. the pain will fade eventually. i usually tell myself to stop constantly looking at him, thinking about him, and monopolizing his attention. it's tough, but you can do it. and never think that just because he says no, you're not worth it. You are, and more.
Love,
Maddiegirl |
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Gods_Girl
Posts:17
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| 09/26/2008 10:26 PM |
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Ow. I'd be very hurt inside. I wouldn't know what I'd do. I'd feel like an idiot for liking him for so long. I would feel horrible. Almost like I wasn't good enough. I know God has His reasons for it, though.
God Bless! =)
And, just remember to keep praying and God'll show His answer soon enough! |
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Phil 4:4 "Rejoice in the name of the Lord, alway; and again I say rejoice!" |
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**Jes :-)
Posts:154
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| 04/28/2009 5:00 PM |
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| Hey don't feel like you are alone!! i've liked a guy for about 4 years, and then he started dating another girl they went out for about 2 weekends and she called it off. after i found out that he was dating this girl i thought "he sure played a long" for a long time! at least it felt like that!! but i want to trust God that there is a purpose for my life. |
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Koudee
Posts:91
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| 04/28/2009 9:28 PM |
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Wow, ok let me start off by saying that I had no idea that a guy saying this could be so hurtful…Let me just say that I am guilty of this…Multiple times…But this may not be what you girls think! I used this line a lot in high school (ie, a few months ago) because I wasn’t ready for a heavy relationship, I knew that and I didn’t want one. “I like you like a sister” was my way of telling the girl “I like you! A lot! I like you so much you are like my sister, But I just wish all this pressure could go away so I can just enjoy you and this thing that we have! So we can just get to know each other like normal people, like we grew up together” It was really my way to establish something with her, it doesn’t mean he likes you less at all! (Yea, I am trying to speak for other guys then myself, but I think I have some experience from being a culprit myself)
Because for me a “relationship” I.e.: dating, means I’m obligates to….lets say get you something on valentines day , that pressure, money, bla bla, I don’t have to do that “for my sister”. Instead of running around “freaking out” for hours trying to figure out what to get you for V-day, maybe I can slip past all that and just spend a care-free hour with you?
That statement is also a great “break” if things are going way to fast and you want them to slow down. I don’t know about other guys, but my ears perked up when we read Romeo, and the priest pretty much said “If its fast and emotional, slow it down or your going to want to kill yourself”….dark sarcasm, anyway. So when I sense that things are going on, and picking up speed, and maybe I feel like they are going to fast, I start to feel like I’m on shaky ground, and that’s when you apply “a break” to slow things down.
I can’t speak for every guy, but I definitely had the results Emily Janelle had in mind almost every time I used that line, that was always the resulting goal in my book! (The only reason I say “Almost“, is because I can’t quite account for every situation I used it in from memory right now!)
Hope this helps a little!
-Koudee |
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Bekah
Posts:16
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| 04/29/2009 5:57 PM |
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Wow.
I am at the confused point in my friendship with a guy right now...I've liked him forever and at times I think he likes me too, but I'm never sure. I was talking to one of my best girlfriends recently and she basically told me the same thing as you: to focus on our friendship right now, and pray a LOT, and God will perform His will. Your reply was exactly what I needed. So, if you don't mind, I'm going to print it out and put it in my Bible so I see it every day! haha. thanks! 
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maddiegirl
Posts:210
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| 05/24/2009 8:25 PM |
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| id say just be happy that u guys r friends and keep it @ that. |
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MyLifeHisWill
Posts:184
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| 06/17/2009 7:28 PM |
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| Awwww...hehe ready for a crazy story? Well I fell head over heals for this gorgeous, godly, amazing guy. Around mmmm.....April of last year I knew I was in love, but he had a long-distance girlfriend and i NEVER imagnined a chance with him. Sooooo because I was concerned I was letting myself fall too much in love with my best guy friend (we were SOOOO close) I began saying he was like a "big bro" to me, and one time when I was super sad he told me he had been on facebook and wanted to send me this bumper sticker that said "I Love My Little Sister" (he didn't because I dont have a facebook) and that just made my day. Now, this whole thing worked for awhile as I attempted to convince myself I saw him as nothing more than a big brother. But i mean, WHO WAS I KIDDING? lol Nontheless by the end of July I admitted to him I felt like our relationship was turning more into boyfriend/girlfriend (he was still dating the other girl) and I honestly did like him, but it wasn't right for it to go there. He told me my two best friends had actually told him that a few months earlier and he had known ALL ALONG!!!! Well, he ended up breaking up with his girlfriend on the 28th of July .... and on the 30th of September....told me, "Natalie, I think I'm in love with you." And ever since our friendship has slowly moved into "more than" and we are now a happy couple with quite the love story... all that to say, maybe what is a sister thing now....may become a love thing later <3 <3 <3 |
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I don't want to just "live" I want to experience life. |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 06/17/2009 10:43 PM |
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AWWW nat, that's so sweet!!!
I had the same thing with a guy @ performing arts school... (actually the one playing opposite me in my profile pic...)
and I was trying to convince myself that I only saw him like a little bro (he was only 1 month younger than me...) and well, it came down to the very last week, and, I figured out I was fooling myself... and he'd also know the whole time... but yeah he was someone I should totally have NOT gone for, so I'm glad I didn't 
But yeah, so sweet!! |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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