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Beka
Posts:15
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| 08/24/2009 8:44 PM |
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Hey I have a question for both guys and girls! I was recently introduced to an awesome strong Christian guy though my best friend. lol He immediately got my phone number and we text and IM alot.I've hung out with him some since then (NOT just the two of us of course). lol Anyways... i know he likes me and even told my friend he wants to date me.I like him too... lol i'm sure you get the picture. Here's the thing, we are both only seniors in high school and I have always said I would wait to date until I'm out of highschool. He told my friend he will wait to date me until then. Which makes me respect him all the more. Anyways, what do ya'll think about dating or courting? Anyone have any advice on the time before you date on like how to just stay friends? What are your opinions on the right age to date? I'd love to know everyone's thoughts on this topic!!!
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David
Posts:499
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| 08/24/2009 8:51 PM |
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Statistically speaking, the younger you are when you start dating the less likely it will succeed. Most marriages that come out of high school relationships failed.
Having said that, it's not impossible if approached correctly. One of the wisest and most spiritually mature men I know started dating his wife in high school.
Truth is, you can't just be friends. You like him, he likes you, even if you don't date you're not just friends. I can't tell you when you should start dating, but what I can tell you is to start learning how to go about this whole romantic process. The fact that you are on this forum means you have likely read (or are reading) FYWO. That is a great start. Learn what a relationships takes, really figure out if he's a quality guy, and don't take the decision to date him lightheartedly. For all you or I know, you very well might be ready to date him now; or maybe not. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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MyLifeHisWill
Posts:184
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| 08/25/2009 10:09 AM |
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| Hey Beka! I understand completely where your at! And I agree with David, no matter what you two can't be just friends. Trust me, I tried. I liked my best guy friend (we had been best friends for like a year) and my girl friends told him (i didn't know this). Well, longs tory short about 2 months after I actually admitted I liked him and we had gone on as usual, he told me he liked (well he said "i think I mite be in love with you" lol) me (this is 11 months ago). For about 2 months I tried so hard to just be friends. I mean, I was one of those girls who was so set on not dating in highschool and then finding mr. right in college. So dating him would be a bad move. Well, reality is, unless yoou totally cut off all ties with him - a realtionship is inevitable. You have to decide how important this guy is to you. Is courting in college more important than pursuing the guy you really like now? It could be, and if it is, cut off all ties. But if this guy really means alot to you - go for it. However, make sure your parents are both involved and in approval - otherwise lying or going behind thier back isn't the way to go. Thats a sin. If you have that checked off and they're on board, than its up to you. Realize that all the warnings you ever got about dating in highschool will come to pass, keeping pure will be a daily battle - and its HARD. Realize you will give up your time, energy, money and even your heart and it will cost you. Realize that your first relationship will be quite the learning process, you will make mistakes, you will fight with eachtoher and argue, you will cry. Realize that all the "sweet" stuff wont last forever, and hard times will come and you might wanna give up. Realize people might judge you, they might condemn you for having a boyfriend. I know I might have just scared you, but thats to make you think. Having a boyfriend is wonderful, I love mine! There are those movie moments and tons of fun times, sometimes he just is sooooo sweet and loving. I want to spend forever with him. He's an amazing guy. However, i never realized what I was getting into last September. I would have NEVER guessed. It will be tough. Ask yourself, "is he worth it?" but at the same time, don't hide. If your afraid of a broken heart and thats why you break off all ties - your only hurting yourself. Life is full of hard times - i lost my aunt, my best friend and i have drifted apart (not my boyfriend my best girl friend). I mean, love sometimes will hurt you. But if you never learn to love, and never take the chance - you will regret it. THis being said, be smart. Don't give your heart to just anyone. Ask yourself, "is this the guy I want to spend forever with?" "Do we have what it takes to make this a foever thing?"....and then PRAY. PRAY PRAY PRAY. God is the one who knows best! |
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I don't want to just "live" I want to experience life. |
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continulyjoy
Posts:9
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| 08/25/2009 12:50 PM |
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| I would recommend waiting till you're out of high school. If that's what you decided before, then keep it that way! If/when he starts a relationship with you then, it will be that much more worth it for both of you. Meanwhile, give your emotions to God, even if you have to do it every day/hour/minute, whatever it takes! Tell God that you want His will, whether it involves this guy or not. Believe me, it works! Sometimes not the way we want it to, but God will take care of you... I'm still watching His plan unfold for my life and can't tell what exactly He has in mind, but I know I'm where He wants me now, and that brings such FREEDOM!! Blessings! |
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i live.
i laugh.
and
i
love
Jesus! |
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Ash:)
Posts:22
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| 08/26/2009 4:01 AM |
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Ok i know that this doesnt work for alot of people but here's a funny story!!! My parents are 34 and 32 and they have been together since High School!!! i think they met as seniors and my mom was from Washington State and my Dad florida. my mom had moved to florida with her mom when her mom had gotten a divorce. They grew up two totally different lifestyles and met by playing high school soccer!!! Well lets just say they have been together since High School, my Dad is in the military and is gone quite often and we move alot but my parents love each other and have been married twelve years going on 13 soon and have four girls(including me)!!! So im just saying you should maybe try dating! You dont have to take anything too fast while dating(thats not what its about) But you know not everything goes bad!!! AND my parents were going to college with 3 kids and they are doing fine(although they wouldnt recommend that) lol AND our best family friends(although about 10 years older than my parents) that we have known for about 6 years have a similar story that were dating since High School, got married and have two boys and the husband is in the military as well!!! -jus sayin and i hope this helps!!!- But it sounds like he respects you sooo much!!!  im happy for you whatever you choose!!!
-Ash |
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-Ash<3 |
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Jackie
Posts:14
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| 08/30/2009 9:21 AM |
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| It is better to begin dating when you are at the age when you know what you want in a future husband and are secure in your standards. You should look at dating as preparation for marriage, in one sense; not just "fooling around" and "having fun", while your heart is constantly being torn and healed. When you choose a guy to date, it should be someone who fits at least most of your standards and who your parents approve of. Even after that, you should still observe the guy's good qualities and bad qualities, analyzing his character and deciding whether he is still someone whom you could see yourself marrying one day. I don't recommend dating before you're sixteen because the chances of you staying with that person until you are old enough to get married are very small, but not impossible; it has happened before. However, being eighteen and already observing the different kinds of guys there are out there, you may already know what you want and are therefore ready to begin the experience of getting to know a guy on such a personal level. |
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