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SamiD
Posts:27
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| 09/30/2009 4:42 PM |
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Heya! I have two questions for you guys, i would like you to please answer if you can.
- What exactley is courting? and what exactley is dating?
I thought dating was getting to know a person that you could possibly see yourself marrying somewhere in the future. But what are your thought?
I have a boyfriend, but we are kind of serious about eachother.  I'm underage by the way, but the parents are fine with how our relationship is going. We have never kissed, and I never exactley asked if that was something he wanted to save for his wedding day or if he was fine with it, but nothing further. How could I possibly go about asking him without all of the tension/ wierdness lol?
It would really help me, please and thankyou! <3
<3Live, Love, Laugh, Believe- SamiD <3
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Lucky Albatross
Posts:168
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| 09/30/2009 9:14 PM |
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Hello, hello. Hope you don't mind the new guy chiming in! 
To answer your first questions, if you're courting someone, typically you're engaged or somewhere close. Dating is the more casual "dinner and a movie" kind of encounter. It can get serious, but typically it's in the first stages.
And about asking your boyfriend, just lead into it in the conversation next time you go out together. Be tactful, but get your point across.
Hoped that helped a little bit! |
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One step at time,
I trust these feet of mine,
To carry me on to where I belong.
Mike Zito |
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sponge_luver
Posts:8
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| 09/30/2009 11:12 PM |
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yeh exactly 
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smile |
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artyprincess
Posts:224
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| 10/01/2009 5:03 AM |
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Hey Sami,
Ok - as I understand it, courting is getting to know someone with the full intention of marrying. Courting also means involving family - with limited one on one outings. It is quite a serious step.
Dating - to put it as Josh Harris does: is a product of our disposable culture. Dating does not typically involve family very much - it's a boy and girl going out, deciding if they like each other, and if they don't, they breakup. It's disposable. Dating also tends to quickly skim the 'friendship' stage and turn into something serious very quickly. It's impossible to date as friends - you become a couple.
To use Josh Harris (Again...) he likens relationships with the opposite sex to a dinner at a fancy restaurant. You have the drink, the entree, the main and the dessert. The drink is acquaintance, the entree casual friend, the main good friend, and dessert, is of course, the serious relationship. Courting tends to linger on each 'course', while dating can easily 'mash' it all into one gooey mess.
I strongly advise against dating/courting until you're ready to marry. I'm 15 - so I certainly don't have all the experience and wisdom that the older members do, but I can see from friends' experiences that it has a slim chance of working out. For me, there is just TOO long a gap between now and 18 - which is the legal age here in Oz for marriage. 3 years is a long time to make a relationship work and keep both of you pure, when you can enjoy friendship and talk dating/courting later! I'm not saying that it won't work for you, but just be very careful how you handle it!
As for discussing kissing - just ask him. It'll make it less awkward than if he's not aware of your stand and wants to kiss you. I assume you would like to save your first kiss?
Anyway, I'll get off my soap box now!
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God Can. |
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SamiD
Posts:27
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| 10/01/2009 12:22 PM |
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Lucky Albatross- Your advice was really helpful!! I get it now.  and thanks for that tip on how to ask, because I don't want to force it on him. Because right now I don't exactley know how far he will go until marriage. He's a pastor's son. We are both remaining pure I just dont know how he would feel about that,( if it crossed his boundaries). Thankyou! ;D
artyprincess- Thanks! We are both turning 15 and I get what your saying. I personally don't necessarily think 3 years is that long of a time, but your right is is long enough. But time does fly. To be honest I have no idea if I will save my kiss.... I'm not really against it before marriage, but I'm not totally against that thought. I guess when the time feels right than I will, but I defenitley won't be under pressure. ;D Thankyou so much that whole entree thing really helped me put it in prespective. I think we are pretty serious and think this could lead to be more, but who knows. but I defenitley have a good feeling so far. Thankyou again!! |
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Bea
Posts:12
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| 05/04/2010 4:59 PM |
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| Just watch out, that this doesn't lead into something, that you might regret your whole life. |
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Miana
Posts:12
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| 06/07/2010 2:20 AM |
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| My parents want me to wait till the alter, but I can't wait that long. Personally, I'm going to try and wait till engagement. Bea, you're right it is something you could regret. For me, when I think of my future husband kissing another girl I get grossed out, and I'm praying he feels the same way about me. I don't want to compare him to a past guy, I don't want him to compare me to another girl. I pray to God that He will give me the strength to wait until I have a ring on my finger!!! And SamiD, I'm a pastor's daughter |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 06/08/2010 8:13 AM |
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| im with you Miana, engagement seems like a good time for me, cuz i couldn't handle all the intimate stuff in one blast... haha. idk just seems like overkill... just to me haha. |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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SamiD
Posts:27
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| 06/08/2010 12:08 PM |
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| Thanks for the tips and to be honest I coudn't handle all of that when I get married either haha. I actually already had my first kiss now and to be totally honest I am glad I didn't wait because to me it established more of a trust bond between us. Even though our trust bond was already strong. So, I guess things worked out for the better and I did pray long and hard about this. Thankyou guys for all the opinions!! |
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dc_88keys4christ
Posts:0
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| 11/20/2010 8:17 PM |
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| SamiD, It seems to me, that by kissing, you'd be breaking each others trust, considering that you're not in a serious relationship where you are of age to consider marriage. I hope this doesn't offend you. |
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SamiD
Posts:27
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| 11/21/2010 6:32 PM |
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| Darcie- It doesn't offend me. This actually happened a while ago because were 16 now lol, but we have kissed and i kinda feel that since than things have been a lot stronger, but thanks on the in sight!! |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 11/28/2010 12:48 AM |
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| it's funny how it can create a bond of trust, or it can totally ruin things. My first kiss....it created a bond of trust!! and yet @ the same time I became more concerned with who he was talking to and what girls he was with...my 2nd kiss....it ruined our relationship....my 3rd....I can't say as it has ruined anything! Because we rarely get to see each other it makes the times we are together more special. I don't regret my first kiss..I do the 2nd...yes it would of been more special if I had waited, but we had a very innocent relationship and I know that I have nothing to be ashamed of with that 1st kiss! |
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