wolf
Posts:21
 |
| 06/18/2010 5:48 PM |
|
| Hey ladies. I need your oppinion on somthing.a little advice as it were. I am an 18 year old boy and i really like this girl. she is 16 jst in case tht matters too some people. She is VERY Catholic. I dnt have a problem w tht. i am Catholic to but i think it relevent so u can understand the problem. We are complete opposites. She hates hard rock or any music like it. I love it. She is kind and generouse and intelligent. I will admit tht at times i can b a jerk and somtimes be selfish. She is great w kids. i love kids but am awkward around them. Another minor setback is she does not date. she never has and she never will. If im to enter a relationship w her it will probly be thru courting. So i guess my question is: What should i do? Any help u can give me is really apreciated! |
|
|
|
|
clare
Posts:932
|
| 06/19/2010 6:30 PM |
|
does she or her parents have an age they want her to be before she gets into a relationship?? I'm sure you've heard it said that opposites attract, tho sometimes too extremes don't go!LOL As far as music...a compromise is usually easy! He gets to listen to his heavy metal, country, whatever the case, for one or two songs, then I get my choice for a song
oh well if you're awkward around kids! Give it time an experience just as long as you like them. Some guys really can't stand kinds  What about personality wise? That is a bigger issue. for me when I am interested in a guy first thing I find out is is he patient!!LOL cuz I'm not.haha
Ok at least you are of the same faith. never try to date someone you aren't in the same faith with. but you say she is VERY Catholic....in ways that will make you two disagree? Or just more then you? |
|
|
|
|
wolf
Posts:21
|
| 06/19/2010 8:25 PM |
|
her parents want her to b at least 18 i think. but thts a minor issue. ive liked this girl for nearly fout years. i can wait a couple more. relogionwise shes jst a better Catholic than me. we dnt hav any conflicting views. in fact i agree w her on pretty much every subject..except music lol. as for personality, well i like to make people laugh especially her. its one of the few things im good at. is that important to you girls? and i do kno when to b seriouse so im not an immature clown  as for patiance... somtimes and for somthings. if you or any other girl has kwestions about her or my personality or things like that please ask. i appreciate ur oppinions. and thanks clare |
|
|
|
|
clare
Posts:932
|
| 06/19/2010 10:08 PM |
|
cool! sounds like you have liked her awhile!! that's really good you both agree on church/religion stuff!
yeah having a guy you can have a good laugh with is pretty important. Unless the person is any annoying goof ball. everyone is different, but for myself laughing with a friend is pretty important! Sometimes I'll call up my friend of cousin and be like " hey I really need a good laugh can we get together" But again, that's just me and I am kind of crazy! and I'm quite sure you are good at a lot more than just making people laugh
Do you see each other often? Go to school together? are you friends, good friends?? |
|
|
|
|
Adelynn
Posts:516
|
| 06/19/2010 10:31 PM |
|
I think you should figure out what courting means to you, and what it means to this young woman's family. Is it like dating, but parents are involved? Are your families doing things- holidays, day trips, nights out- together? It seems like a big deal to wait for someone to be old enough or ready to make that commitment, and to make such an effort to keep everyone involved, but couples who do that have made the choice to be truly committed to seeing if it would be good for them to be married or not. I mean, marriage is for life, so it's probably a great foundation and a few years now is nothing compared to the next 80 you could spend together.
Definitely it's great that you don't disagree about your faith, but push it deeper- a guy who can open up and speak honestly and knowledgeably about Jesus/God/the Bible is awesome in so many ways. I like to laugh, so it's great when someone can do that for me =]
The biggest thing that I can suggest is to focus on what God has for you right now. Paraphrasing Passion and Purity (because someone is borrowing my copy), "Don't let your hopes for the future interfere with your life now". Bible Study, school, enjoying being able to go out with your friends without other responsibilities getting in the way, spending your money how you want instead of on bills, working on becoming the person your future wife deserves- that all seems like stuff I'd want my future husband to be doing right now. Even if I was in a "special" relationship with someone I could potentially marry, if we weren't ready for a committed relationship (even courting/dating), I would definitely rather he acted like I wasn't his yet and cared about me but kept his distance to barely beyond comfortable friends. If we aren't ready, then we aren't ready- when we are ready, we will be able to spend that time getting to know each other even better. Plus, if things changed and we didn't get together, my heart isn't torn into pieces because of the relationship that almost was.
Though the title is odd, God's Gift to Women by Eric Ludy is a great book for guys. I bought it for my brother and read it, and the man painted in that book made me want to cry he sounds to amazing and real. |
|
"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
|
|
wolf
Posts:21
|
| 06/20/2010 1:16 PM |
|
| Hey clare. to amswer ur kwestion we are both homschooled (well i jst graduated) we c eachother at least 1nce a week. if not more. i think we are friends. i am one of the few boys whom she will actually hav a drawn out conversation. but i dnt kno how good of friends we are. should I ask her? would that come off as wierd? i dnt want to creep her out or scare her away. that would be counterproductive. i kno i should go slowly but i dont want to go to slowly or i might miss my chance. |
|
|
|
|
Adelynn
Posts:516
|
| 06/20/2010 3:37 PM |
|
| One thing I've heard that has stuck with me is that if God wants two people together, there is no rush. If He can make water out of stones and turn a sinner into a saint, He can keep the right people interested for as long as it takes until it is time. If you're interested in her, I seriously doubt you are giving off no vibes that you like her. She probably has at least an idea. We don't know you or your situation, we haven't seen your interactions- only people who know you can tell you. God gave you your parents and youth leaders for a reason. |
|
"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
|
|
clare
Posts:932
|
| 06/20/2010 6:18 PM |
|
Adelynn is very right, and that's a fact that was really hard for me to accept, but once I did I had SO much peace!!! In Quest for Love couples talk about how God brings them together. God can bring someone across the world for you....If it's God's plan for you, it will happen, being afraid if you don't hurry you might loose her is doubting God doesn't know what He is doing. Really hard to accept sometimes tho.
and I agree with pretty much everything else she said!!LOL |
|
|
|
|
wolf
Posts:21
|
| 06/20/2010 9:11 PM |
|
| oh btw a random bit of info tht mite be usefull. im the only guy (boy) who can convince her to do somthing she doesnt want to do.... hmm that could come out rong 4 some pple. let me explain. she is extremly shy and selfconciouse. for tht reason she doesnt get involved in alot of things. shes afraid pple will laugh at her if she screws up. like one time i was able to convince her to go rollerblading. she wasnt very good at the time but i hlped her and she got a lot better. and she seemed to enjoy herself. so sry if tht snded perverted and creepy. not only would i never try to convince her (or any girl)to do anything tht is...innaproptiate or might go agaist her concience but she would kill me if i did... and then her police officer father would, and then her mother, and then her brother, and then her best friend, and then her best friends brother who is in the army and then... |
|
|
|
|
wolf
Posts:21
|
| 06/23/2010 8:00 PM |
|
| Ok. now im really confused. somtimes she is very friendly to me and actually seems to seek me out and other times she seems to go to great lengths to avoid me. explanation? i am thouroughly miserable. i really like this girl and truly belive that she is perfect for me. my concern is that im not the right one for her. wat do i do? giv up or keep trying? |
|
|
|
|
Adelynn
Posts:516
|
| 06/23/2010 9:12 PM |
|
| Sometimes I avoid a guy I like because I get so nervous and awkward around them. Also because sometimes I know how much I like a guy but I know it isn't the right time to get into a relationship and I don't want to be tempted to lead a guy on |
|
"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
|
|
wolf
Posts:21
|
| 06/24/2010 5:19 PM |
|
| ok. heres another puzzle. this friend of mine says he is convinced that she likes me. he saysthat its in the way she talkstome. he couldnt really explainwat he meant. can you shed some light on this? sorry if i seem kinda cluless. im knew to the world of romance. befor girls where just people i hung out w and there was no need to dicipher wat they were thinking. |
|
|
|
|
wolf
Posts:21
|
| 06/24/2010 5:46 PM |
|
| ok. heres another puzzle. this friend of mine says he is convinced that she likes me. he saysthat its in the way she talkstome. he couldnt really explainwat he meant. can you shed some light on this? sorry if i seem kinda cluless. im knew to the world of romance. befor girls where just people i hung out w and there was no need to dicipher wat they were thinking. |
|
|
|
|
AlexTi
Posts:0
|
| 06/26/2010 8:47 PM |
|
| im a guy so ....... i think you should give it a try from my experience ( im 12) give it a shot |
|
|
|
|
wolf
Posts:21
|
| 06/26/2010 9:03 PM |
|
| i kno i should. but im afraid ifi rush things ill ruin wat little chance i hav. |
|
|
|
|
clare
Posts:932
|
| 06/27/2010 1:55 AM |
|
| well then don't rush!LOL Just continue to reach out and be her friend. Make a point to talk to her, be interested in what she does, and just get to be good friends. the better friends you are the more you will know about eachother and know what she thinks. Friendship is always the first step. |
|
|
|
|
JoJo
Posts:1657
|
| 07/14/2010 7:29 PM |
|
been there done that... sounds like my reply theme for the day LOL.
dont rush things....
I had this veiw that you never know when God will call you home, so live life to the fullest. and I still think that's good, but I'd taken it as "hurry up and let the guy know you're interested b4 you die" hahahaha. anyways, that turned out horribly wrong. if it's meant to be, it'll happen. pray about it ALOT and dont ask her if you're good friends, that sends up flares immediately.
just let things be and pray and when you feel at peace about it and feel God is happy with it, go for it. haha. |
|
Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
|
|
rachel
Posts:35
|
| 07/14/2010 8:17 PM |
|
okay, if you're not already, get in a relationship with the PARENTS of this girl, because thats gonna make a HUGE difference. if a guy started hanging out with my family, was comfortable around my parents and hung out with my little brother (or older brother), i'd be like "OH MUY GOODNESS he's awesome" haha...plus, since she courts, the parents have to approve of the courtship correct? so its a good idea anyway.
as for her being a better Catholic than you, as long as your faith in Christ Jesus is the same, there's always room for growth for the both of you. can't help much there since i'm not catholic. but as long as the guy was serious about his faith and attempting to grow, that would make a huge difference in my opinion.
rachel |
|
"The difference between involvement and commitment is like a eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved-the pig was committed." |
|
|
ruger414
Posts:0
|
| 07/20/2010 3:54 PM |
|
Im a guy, and my only suggestion is get to know her family. If you can talk to adults and sound intelligent and mature she, and her parents, will respect you that much more. hope that helps
|
|
|
|
|