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emilyjanelle
Posts:510
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| 06/21/2008 12:52 PM |
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what's the difference between dating and courting? i have my own opinions, but i want to see what all of you believe. please feel free to post away, even if you have no idea what i'm talking about! questions are extremely welcome.
love you ladies! :]
<3 |
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You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
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prettygirl
Posts:46
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| 06/21/2008 5:50 PM |
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| um, i think that dating is more of a one-on-one kinda thing (unless it's a group date) and ur more of a couple and courting is like where your families get together and everyone is there, not just a couple of teenage friends. |
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staci
Posts:4
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| 06/21/2008 6:08 PM |
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| I believe that dating is more in the beginning stages of a relationship, like when you are just getting to know the other person. and courting is when it gets more serious, for example, when you meet the families and are beginning to talk about maybe marriage and starting your own family. |
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emilyjanelle
Posts:510
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| 06/21/2008 11:10 PM |
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i understand what both of you mean. but why can't you get to know a guy by just being his friend, without dating? isn't that do-able?
please realize i'm just being kind of a 'devil's advocate', for lack of a better phrase. i don't mean to sound sarcastic or like i'm nagging, i just want to know what all of you think.
:] <3 |
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You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
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prettygirl
Posts:46
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| 06/22/2008 12:12 AM |
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| no need to apologize emilyjanelle! i do think that you can get to know a guy by just being his friend. im super good friends with a guy and we are thinking about dating, but even tho we haven't yet, i know him better than i would had i started dating him before really getting to know him. i think that dating and courtship are more like stages in the relationship. you can know someone just fine without either of those happening, but it shows that you're moving forward and getting serious. |
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runnergirl493
Posts:0
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| 06/22/2008 12:24 AM |
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| yeah, i agree with you prettygirl, if you get to know a guy before you start dating, it might take some of those awkward first steps out of your dating relationship. Dating is more of a relationship, it's the 'next-step' after getting to know each other! |
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emilyjanelle
Posts:510
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| 06/22/2008 11:47 PM |
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yeah, i agree with both of you. i was very good friends with my boyfriend for around 8 months before we decided to date. and for around 5 of those 8 months, he didn't even like me! :p
but i totally agree with you, runnergirl, about the awkward first steps. 'cause for my boyfriend and i, we didn't really have that, y'know? sure, we have our own struggles and hurdles that the enemy is tempting and putting us through, as a couple, because who said relationships were gonna be easy? nobody, that's who! but in the same breath, being friends for so many months and getting to know each other as individuals was awesome. we formed a brother-sister relationship before anything else surfaced.
and i think that needs to be the core of every relationship, honestly. you seriously can't start a relationship on infatuation, looks, etc. it needs to be on faith, friendship, and fellowship. you have to have the same beliefs and morals, you need to be good friends, and you need to be able to understand and communicate with that person on the same spiritual level. i'm always holding my boyfriend accountable and vice versa. we're not lukewarm about this at all. i really like him, i know God's blessed it, my parents have blessed it, so i'm going ahead in this. and if it be God's will, yes, we will get married. that's definitely in the picture, down the road. it's not like 'uhh, well...i dunno...i guess we could?' no, i believe someday we will. but if God, someday, tells us we should break up or whatever circumstances you can think of would happen, so be it. i'm not saying it won't be hard, but i'm not speaking into being that we're definitely going to break up, either. it's basically a 50/50 chance, i like to say.
anything is possible with God, the Word says. and alot of people think of that in a good, prosperous sense, y'know? but take it in the other direction. if anything is possible with Him, then could He speak to one, or both of us, and tell us to break up, someday? sure. could He also tell us that we're going to get married, in three years? of course. but we're both still in highschool, we have our entire lives ahead of us. living in the here and now is basically all i'm concerned about. God's really been speaking to me about being patient and waiting for His timing. i need to trust in Him and nothing else.
:] <3 |
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You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
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mitchikoi
Posts:8
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emilyjanelle
Posts:510
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| 06/23/2008 12:25 PM |
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mitchikoi, i couldn't have said it better myself! you hit the nail on the head. i TOTALLY don't want to get hung up on terms, no WAY. i know exactly what you mean.
whenever i talk about my boyfriend and i, i almost always refer to that we're dating. but we're doing nothing physical except hugging, as of now. and we've made a commitment to not kiss in any way [even on the cheek] or be intimate until our wedding day. so our dating rules are pretty strict, and marriage is definitely in the picture, but we usually don't refer to it as that we're courting. even though your definition of courting, mitchikoi, is pretty much exactly what my boyfriend and i are doing and will do in our relationship. and dating is completely NOT what we're doing, at ALL.
but, in reference to what you said, who cares about the terms? it's just words. my family and friends know our standards and what we believe is right, so that's that.
thanks!
:] <3 |
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You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
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mitchikoi
Posts:8
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| 06/24/2008 1:39 AM |
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| yeah, that's the spirit... I admire your strength and responsibility to overcome those things between you and your partner.. Keep in mind that God has so many plans for you and everything has a purpose.. Somehow, looking things at this perspective taught you to be more matured in dealing with him and you life.. Good luck emilyjanelle... |
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" We can be happy anytime once we understand that the only place we'll ever find genuine happiness....is right inside us. Happiness begins at the point of acceptance: the point when we stop questioning why life can't be perfect and just accept the world the way it is.."  |
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dramakween
Posts:15
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| 06/26/2008 5:24 PM |
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| A few of my close guy friends court and when I ased one what the difference was he put it this way: "courting is going into a relationship with the intention of getting married" I thought that was a bit intense esspecialy since we are all so young and have the rest of our lives ahead of us. And all three of them said they are saving their first kiss for marriage, and from the way I've grown up and the way I have lived so far this sounded very prude at first, but then I started thinking about it and found that its a great way to stay sacred and all and save everything for your one and only. Any thoughts? |
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Merbear |
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emilyjanelle
Posts:510
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| 06/26/2008 11:10 PM |
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dramakween, i thought EXACTLY as you are only about a year or two ago. i thought courting was, gee, what they did back in civil war times, y'know? nobody does that now, what the heck? it seemed really odd to me. but then, within this past year, i started looking into it and became friends with my, now boyfriend, then good friend. and i had to keep asking God, what do You want us to do with this? and it basically came down to, waiting. waiting for God's plan, timing, purpose for us.
dramakween, in my opinion, not kissing until the wedding day is an AWESOME way to stay away from sinning! sure, we're all going to be tempted to do stuff, yaddayaddayadda. but if we want to be able to stop ourselves from falling into sin, why even tempt ourselves by doing *fill in the blank*, in this case, kissing? because we all know that CAN, and i'll say can because i know we all have self-control, yaddayaddayadda. but anyway, that can lead to french kissing, feeling up, and then before you know it, he's taking your clothes off during a makeout session! yeah, we all think, 'what the heck?! that's SO far fetched, c'mon now, emily!' nope, it's honestly not. bottom line, it's just not. i know i'd be wayyy too tempted to do more than 'just kiss' if my boyfriend and i would start, i'll be truthful with all of you. just because we're both on-fire christians doesn't mean the enemy won't tempt us somehow! as soon as we get into that prideful, 'well, we can do this because we have self-control and my parents are okay with it and i'm sure it'll be fine' attitude, THAT'S when the devil can get a foothold. period.
:] <3 |
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You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
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prettygirl
Posts:46
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| 06/26/2008 11:26 PM |
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| i totally agree with you emily! just cuz we're christians doesn't mean that we're perfect. when i used to hear about girls saying they were saving their first kiss for their wedding day, i thought that was a stupid idea and i would never do that. now i think it's a great idea, i know 100% that i won't kiss neone unless im engaged to him. im seriously thinking about not kissing until my wedding day. |
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emilyjanelle
Posts:510
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| 06/26/2008 11:39 PM |
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yeah, don't get me wrong ladies! i'm not commanding all of you to not kiss until your wedding days, please don't think that at all. but it's just SUCH a temptation and, when i prayed about it, i just KNEW that i shouldn't. it's all about personal conviction though, what you know is right. i've even mentioned to my boyfriend that we might not tell each other we love each other until the moment he asks me to marry him. when i told him that and i said, 'that's gonna be hard if we do that.' he replied, 'oh God, oh God, yes.' haha, so yeah, i agree with you prettygirl! we're ALL tempted, from the 'seemingly' greatest to least.
:] <3 |
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You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
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Hope139
Posts:23
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| 07/01/2008 10:29 PM |
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In my mind courting was never spending time alone with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Whenever you were together there'd be someone else, probably a parent, with you. Dating is going off alone and having one-on-one time. I don't recommend dating, actually I'm quite against it(but that's just me at this point in my life). If courting is, as someone said earlier, just dating with the intention of marriage, that's the route I'd go. I see no sense in dating if you're planning to get married. And if you're too young to be thinking about marriage, you're too young to be thinking about dating. I have some harsh ideas, I know , but I've just seen too many of my friends get hurt by dating young.
About the whole waiting until your wedding day to kiss...that was my plan for a long time, until someone pointed out to me that going from your first kiss to your first time having sex in one day, could be a bit intense. I'm planning to wait until I'm engaged before I kiss my husband for the first time. And we are going to have to discuss that boundaries that we put up and spend time praying together for our purity, because even if we make it to our engagement without kissing, it would still be tempting to go further and further. The whole situation is definitely something to start praying about now, before you even get there. |
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May the Lord bless and keep you, may His face shine upon you, and be gracious and give you peace. |
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prettygirl
Posts:46
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| 07/01/2008 11:09 PM |
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| yea, that was kinda y i wasn't sure that i wanted to wait till my wedding day to kiss. but definitely till im engaged. |
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hannah8908
Posts:2
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| 07/29/2008 10:00 PM |
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| I definatly agree with what mithchikoi had to say about dating and courting. Ever since I became interested in boys my mom has said that she would prefer for me to court, and I actually ignored her for years. I got involved with a guy that said he was a Christian, and turned out not to be but by the time I figured out he wasn't I was so much "in love" with him that I was willing to alter my boundaries that I set up with myself becasue I wanted him to like me. I finally got to the point where I wasn't happy in the relationship, or with myself! All the while there was another guy in my life (not romantically, just friends) that I had met at church camp many years before that I liked and he liked me but he lives far away etc. After I broke up with the guy that had lied to me about his faith I started talking to the guy from camp who really was a good christian man! We started out just being friends but it became clear that we both had stronger feelings for eachother than just friends, and he finally told me that he hadn't dated, had a relationship with anyone else because he'd been waiting for me! Yes I have kissed both of these guys, and the whole point of my long complicated story is this... Courting is definatly the way to go, and trusting the guy that you're involved with before even kissing them is so important. My current guy who I love very much, and will marry sometime does actually have issues with the fact that I have kissed another guy, and it seems silly to some people that a kiss can have have that much of an impact on a realtionship but it's so very true! He has actually told me that he feels like he can't measure up to me because I have more "experience" than him. I was actually able to bring myself to ask for his forgiveness from him because it has been a pretty big deal in our relationship, and since then he has felt better, but I would ask you girls to consider future relationships when it comes to dating and courting, and kissing etc. It has a much bigger impact than you can probably imagine right now! |
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maddiegirl
Posts:210
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| 08/30/2008 5:23 PM |
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My parents believe in courting,so me and my brothers and sisters aren't allowed to date.I can't really explain all of the details, but an awesome book about courting that you could get from a library or buy yourself is I Kissed Dating Good-Bye by Josh Harris
Hope ya like it!! |
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emilyjanelle
Posts:510
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| 10/01/2008 10:12 AM |
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i love that booook! sucha a goodie! yes, yes. i STRONGLY recommend you ALL read that and his sequel, Boy Meets Girl. DO IT!
:] <3 |
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You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
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prettygirl
Posts:46
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| 10/01/2008 10:41 PM |
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| yea, i started to read it and it has really made me think! i'm still working on it around school work and it is making me reevaluate my stand on dating |
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