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Beckah
Posts:903
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| 04/01/2011 4:21 PM |
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how sould i confront my friend on what she has been doing behind her parents backs is wrong.?? She is in lot of trouble already, and well even more when her parents find out what she has done and is doing.. if you want more details just ask and i can tell you. I feel so bad for her, but its her own fault.. i want to be a good strong christian friend to her. I have had her out on Sunday after church, but i dont know what to do!?!
please help!! |
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"Check yourself before you wreck yourself" |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 04/01/2011 11:11 PM |
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| ok well to be able to help more, we'd kinda need to knopw a bit more about the situation. we dont need names haha, cuz that's entirely up to you, but like what's been going on etc and what you mean by having her out after church |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 04/01/2011 11:28 PM |
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well I've been the other girl in the situation!! In my case, I didn't listen to advice that I should stop doing stuff behind my parents back. Of course I liked the advice to keep doing it! I would say let her know you don't approve, but don't be harsh or judging, be willing to listen even if you are going "no way!!! she's so messed up" inside.
When I was going through my..phase...the thing that brought me around to doing right was my two friends that wouldn't give up on me, but who never judged. They would say, well I think this is what I would do, but I understand why you don't want to" and i would be in a rough situation and debating between two options, both of them bad ones, and my friend would say "that sounds very difficult I'll pray for you and I love you" Whenever someone would say you're so bad and sinning and evil it was like oh yeah? I'll show you, and I'd do something worse...stupid sinful nature! |
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Nicole
Posts:552
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| 04/02/2011 4:21 AM |
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Well, with lack of a situation, but with what Clare said, I will say one thing: I agree with Clare. 
In my own words: the last thing you want to do, and the last thing she wants to hear is your judgment on her. It will have the opposite effect: she then may not feel like she's "good enough for you". Just accept her the way she is since God accepted, and accepts us just as we are, sinful nature and all- though I'm in no way pardoning sinful nature either- nor does He.  By falling more in love with God, we want to then shed our sinful nature and become more like God. My point? Just by accepting her, and setting an example for her, she will feel less like the "unworthy" one, and more like wanting to do better. If I made any sense.
If this was totally not the answer you wanted... well... you now have some extra 'wisdom' ^_^ |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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Beckah
Posts:903
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| 04/02/2011 5:17 PM |
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| well she is hannging out with druggies, going night car racing, hanning out with not-so-good people, her parents said she could NOT have face book and a cell phone, but she went and got both of those things, with out her parents knowing... she said on FB that she snuck out to a concert, and she will tell her parents bout it when she is good and ready... its been 3 months... |
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"Check yourself before you wreck yourself" |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 04/02/2011 9:15 PM |
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I don't like talking about this to the general public...but if you want to ask more about my mistakes and lessons learned feel free to email me. I didn't do the drug thing, tried a few Mikes Hard Lemonade  but yeah...any more personal info I'd rather not share to the world atm |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 04/02/2011 10:56 PM |
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hmmm yeah. I agree with Clare as well.
as to what she's doing... i had a friend who was in a similar situation and well, nothing I said seemed to kick in... and eventually I stopped trying to show her she was wrong, and she figured it out by herself... but sadly the guy she was with who she shouldn't have been with, she dumped him in a really bad way, and he still hasn't gotten over it... and it's been years...
maybe just let her know you're worried about her and don't want bad stuff to happen to her and that if she ever needs to talk, you're there and you love her.
in a worst case scenario, and girls correct me if I'm wrong, and something badly needs to be done, you might have to annonymously give her parents her facebook address... but this is only WORST CASE SCENARIO, as you don't wanna break her trust and have her feel like you betrayed her, as it could push her further away...
and let me re-instate worse case scenario, ie, last line of defence... only if nothing else works and something needs to be done because something like, she could die, or be beaten etcetc could happen. |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 04/02/2011 11:07 PM |
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I'm reminded of a Casting Crowns song... the chorus goes:
"Love them like Jesus, Carry them to Him,
His yoke is easy, His burden is lite,
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions,
Just know that He loves them, Stay by there side,
Love them like Jesus." |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Beckah
Posts:903
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| 04/04/2011 1:46 PM |
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thanks yall.
well i havent seen her for like 2-3 weeks.. 
what i ment by having her out is, she came home with me after church, we hung out all day then some of my christian girl friends came out for an all girls movie night. i think she really had fun.. |
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"Check yourself before you wreck yourself" |
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Nicole
Posts:552
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| 04/04/2011 4:31 PM |
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No, JoJo, I do agree with you. I think the worst case scenario you presented is very valid. And also, loving her unconditionally, and just letting her know you're there if she ever needs you- that to me is one of the best things you can do.
I would also talk to maybe your pastor, someone older and wiser you can trust, or if it gets too out of hand- her parents directly.
Keep setting the example of what it means to be a true friend and daughter of Christ, and hopefully her eyes will be opened.
Clare, I totally understand what you're saying! I wouldn't be too comfortable sharing all my personal history details on these public forums either. For the record though, you're loved!  |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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Beckah
Posts:903
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| 04/04/2011 5:10 PM |
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| i have talked to my mom about it.... |
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"Check yourself before you wreck yourself" |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 04/05/2011 5:45 AM |
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well thats good! and what did your mum say (if it's not too much to ask, but you dont need to reply if you dont want to...)
oh yeah, having her over after church is definitely a good plan maybe you can plan more times like that?
We have a yfc run ball here, and so every november, we get dressed up and have fun in a city 2 hrs from us at the ball... and it's no alcohol, no drugs etc, and we have an amazing time!
so maybe stuff like that can show her that you can still have fun and still be a christian |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Beckah
Posts:903
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| 04/05/2011 1:10 PM |
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| ohh i dont mind saying..... im crazy busy atm...... i will post later.... |
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"Check yourself before you wreck yourself" |
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cassie14
Posts:68
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| 04/05/2011 5:56 PM |
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| you know i had some the same issues with my ex-best friend she was bringin alcohol to school and was startin to sleep around and gettin high and had some druggie dude give her a temporary tattoo and she aint even 15 yet i tried to help her as much as i could and i would come home and just cry n cry didnt know what to do finally somethin really big happened and she blamed it all on me and pushed it on my and her mom believed her and i dont/cant talk to her anymore and shes still bringin alcohol to school and mixin it with her drinks i hope that dont happen with you and your friend and i hope and pray she realizes what shes doin sonn! your in my prayers! |
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*judge no one* |
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