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Subject: GUYS-how do you feel...?

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**Jes :-)

Posts:154

01/14/2009 2:09 PM
hey guys how do you feel when girls organize things like plan events and that kinda stuff? like going singing at old peoples home or all go for lunch...ect. i no guys want to take leadership but is that offensive to guys if girls do that or is it normal for girls to do that kind of stuff. to me it sometimes seems that some guys don't plan to much. is it cuz they are maybe afraid to be turned down. as you can pry figure out from reading this i'm a people person. or have we all come so accustomed to girls taking leadership in this world that it has sort of become the normal thing. i love it tho if guys take leadship!

Locke

Posts:223

01/14/2009 3:14 PM
Honestly, I don't mind if a girl wants to organize something, but I don't like it if they try to organize everything. As for why guys don't always take the lead, for some it's because they're laid back and more behind-the-scenes, for others, yes, it feeds back into the 'I don't want to be rejected' spiel - we think "I don't want everybody to reject my suggestion and make me feel stupid, so I won't say anything at all." And some guys, of course, love to lead and take charge and such. If a guy feels confident that his friends and family respect him (not like, respect. That's an important difference), he'll be more likely to step out and lead and take charge of situations instead of sitting back and making/letting the girls decide.

It is trifles that make the sum of life.

**Jes :-)

Posts:154

01/15/2009 3:49 PM
so how much can a girl actually organize that it still doesn't look like youu're trying to take leadership? not that i want to try my bounderies but it seems to often fall on me or i just take opportunities that come up and organize an event.

**Jes :-)

Posts:154

01/15/2009 3:51 PM
so how much can a girl actually do until it either looks like that you're trying to take leadership, not that i want to go as far as possible just so i no cuz i don't want to stand in anybody's way. cuz it seem like so often it falls on me or i take the opportunity to organize something

**Jes :-)

Posts:154

01/15/2009 3:52 PM
ha ha lol! i didn't mean to post it twice! i didn't think the first one went thru!!;-P

Locke

Posts:223

01/15/2009 11:50 PM
No problem. If you're really worried about not pushing a guy out of the role he should be in, here's something simple which I wouldn't consider taking over the leadership role at all. It's Thursday/Tuesday/Whateverday night and you're itching to do something, so you call up your guy and gal friends and say, "Hey, come over tomorrow night and let's watch a movie and have popcorn," or play pool or go on a scavenger hunt. Whatever it is. You did all the work figuring out what to do, who you're inviting, and what time it is. That doesn't impinge on a guy's leadership role at all. I think that 'taking over' would be more along the lines of if a guy does make plans, you scuttle them or belittle them and try to 'fix' it. That doesn't mean you can't suggest anything, but taking it out of his hands entirely. I confess that this isn't something I'm super good at knowing what to do, so here's a book suggestion if you don't mind: read chapter 7 of boy meets girl - it talks further on the subject of leading and initiative between men and women. I'll read it myself and get back after you respond.

It is trifles that make the sum of life.

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