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jennygirl156
Posts:11
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| 05/06/2009 3:13 PM |
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there is something I need help with. I have a friend, and I don't know how to help her. she wants to be beautiful, and the thing is, she is. but she doesnt see it. she keeps talking about the things she wishes she could change, like her nose, and things like that. and its really annoying because shes reeaally pretty. and I keep telling her that thats how God made her, but she just doesnt listen to me.
she gets depressed about how she looks, if she gets a pimple she is miserable all day in school. and she spends so much time getting ready, and so much money on beauty products. and she has a lot of acne now too, which makes her even more depressed.
shes my best friend and I really wanna help her 
and this whole situation got me thinking, about this whole beauty issue. like so many people try to be beautiful. I read it somewhere that women spend an average amount of $1,600 annually on beauty products and services. which is crazy, imagine all the things they could do with that money if they didnt spend it on beauty products?
so I was kinda wondering what it really meant to be beautiful?
what do you guys think about this?
and I'm also open to advices concerning my friend. |
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Jenny |
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artyprincess
Posts:226
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| 05/06/2009 6:15 PM |
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Being beautiful has to radiate from within you, IMO. The most beautiful people I know aren't what the world would call beautiful, but they are loving, and kind and generous.
About your friend, well, all I can offer advice-wise is: pray for her. It's obvious that no matter what you say, she doesn't believe it. She has to believe herself that she's beautiful.
Does she watch a lot of TV or read a lot of celebrity magazines? Cause they really warp your thinking! |
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God Can. |
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Sandy
Posts:48
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| 05/06/2009 9:03 PM |
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| I agree with artyprincess...beauty IMO isn't about the looks as much as it's about the personality...To me the positive traits are what make someone even more beautiful...I'm not really sure what you can do for her right now but pray for her and listen...don't allow her to put herself down and compliment her...she just might need an ego boost and more confidence in herself...let her know that everyone has flaws or something they dislike about themselves... |
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maddiegirl
Posts:210
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| 05/07/2009 4:52 PM |
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| i agree w/ both u guys - u can be beautiful on the outside, but true beauty (aka God's definition of beauty) comes from within you. the most beautiful people i know are the ones who are kind, funny, compassionate, totally in love with God, love and live life to it's fullest, and more. it's true, some of them are absolutely gorgeous, but it's what's on the inside that counts, like how you treat other people. |
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Ophoe
Posts:25
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| 05/07/2009 11:33 PM |
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| Yeah...you know, we had a friend who always used to complain about her weight, etc., when she didn't need to. We just wouldn't let her say it around us, and always reacted the same way--practically forbade her to. She finally got the message and would correct herself when she'd start to call herself fat. It doesn't mean she changed around others, but at least she had somebody in her life trying to get her to think differently. I'd suggest something similar with your friend. But just be sensitive to her emotional state, as well. You don't want her to be afraid to share her feelings with you, but you do want to get the message across that she's practically not allowed to talk about herself in that way to you. Every time she does, point out that she can't say it and counter it with a positive point about her (you've got some of the most gorgeous eyes I've ever seen; you're an amazing person, etc..) You can even point out that she's obsessing (which she is). But make a point to build her up, truthfully, as much as possible. Hopefully she will eventually get the message! She needs a friend to hold the truth up to her, unrelentingly--and since you're her best friend, she may listen to you the most! Also (if she is a Christian) gently suggest she think about what God's place in these worries are. Love conquers...keep praying, too. |
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Cayla Renae
Posts:58
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| 05/08/2009 12:28 PM |
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I went to a session at a youth conference called Beautiful Girls which had Amanda Falk speaking (great musician, btw). She said that she used to feel gross about her appearance too (just as all girls do). What she did in order to change how she saw herself was read Psalm 139 every morning. EVERY MORNING! After a couple of weeks or months she had it memorized. I imagine the whole Psalm popped up in her mind anytime she had a negative thought about herself!
What I've done to improve how I view myself is start to think how selfish it is to focus on the physical aspect of who I am. God made me the way I am for a reason, and if I slam what He created, I'm slamming my KING and FATHER!! Disrespectful or what? So I find that when I focus on beautifying myself on the inside (my heart) by reading my Bible, spending time with God, and bettering myself as a person, I can look in the mirror and say, "Wow, you're beautiful because of who you are - an eternal princess of the All-Powerful!"
Another thing? Just be patient. I have a GORGEOUS sister who doesn't like how she looks, so I just keep telling her over and over again how beautiful she is. I think she's starting to believe it...
I hope that helps somewhat.  |
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~created by the King to do good things~ |
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swimmer
Posts:11
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| 05/11/2009 11:41 PM |
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Um...well, I don't know if you want a guy's perspective. Oh well...you're gonna get it anyway. Well, I personally think that beauty has a lot more to do with personality than appearance. I mean, someone that is cheerful, friendly, and humorous seems to have like a...idk... "happy glow?" I think that makes them all the more beautiful. People that aren't almost have like a negative feeling about them. When I meet people, most of the time, you can tell by their body language if they have a positive attitude or a negative attitude.
As for your friend, I feel for her. Not gonna lie, I'm more worried about showing off muscle than having a pimple-free face. : ) But, I really do feel bad for her. I wish I could help you more, but all I can say is pray and don't tell her she's beautiful, insist that she's beautiful. : )
Well, I hope that wasn't lame...
Your bro in Christ,
Jordan |
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jennygirl156
Posts:11
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| 05/12/2009 4:23 PM |
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thank you for the advice everybody so much
i always pray about her and i've looked for passages in the scripture to show that God loves her exactly the way she is.
it's just so hard though, she watches those tv shows and she thinks she has to look like those people
she is a Christian by the way, but she's been having issues, because her parents aren't Christians, and she's under a lot of stress, so it's even harder for her right now. |
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Jenny |
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Koudee
Posts:91
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| 05/12/2009 10:33 PM |
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Ok jenny I'll pray for her too.
Maybe this will help. Guys like girls for weird reasons sometimes. And almost every time I bring up "poster girls" with my friends we agree that we don't want one.
Let me give you an example =embarrassed blush= This girl I'm crazy about right now has a bigish chin, I imagine most girls wouldn't like a large pokey chin...but I am CRAZY about that chin! I love it!
Because I have a large chin myself (My index finger can lay on the tip of my nose and rest on my chin with no slant, and doesn't touch my lips, and not because I have small lips)...so finding one on a girl is absolutely adorable! And because of that we have the same shaped smile! And I dono, that’s just awesome!
So yea, maybe she won't find her nose on the cover of cosmo (oh...oh I hate that mag) but if she goes out and gets a nose job that one guy who is a "perfect fit" is now something different!
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swimmer
Posts:11
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| 05/12/2009 11:11 PM |
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Oh! Koudee's comment on Cosmo Magazine made me remember a line in a song I heard once.
Part of the lyrics said, "true beauty can't be seen all up on the silver screen, and it sure can't be found in Cosmo magazine!" I always loved that line because I thought that's something every girl needed to know. So...yeah. |
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Nicole
Posts:552
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| 05/13/2009 11:17 PM |
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| You can say that again Swimmer! IMO, beauty is only skin deep. but your comment made me smile today, thanks! |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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Adelynn
Posts:189
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| 05/14/2009 1:10 PM |
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We were talking about true beauty today at Bible Study, and all the girl's remember the first time that someone- usually a guy- told them that they are beautiful. Guys really can have a lot of impact with what they say!!!
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"... I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy..." Acts 2.17
What If His People Prayed? |
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swimmer
Posts:11
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| 05/14/2009 8:53 PM |
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| I know what you mean Adelynn! I'm always paranoid I'm gonna put my foot in my mouth and negatively impact a girl! : ( But I always try to be extra careful what I say! |
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