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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 06/06/2009 7:27 AM |
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K well this isn't exactly about porn. its about a romance (i think) movie... Anyone seen "Message In A Bottle?" It is so sad! I just watched it cuz it sounded interesting... and if you havent watched it, I won't ruin it... but expect to be sad... That's all Im saying...
IDK it's a "romance" movie, but it's not really... idk how to explain it...
What did you guys or girls think of it... if you've seen it? |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Nicole
Posts:552
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| 06/08/2009 2:52 AM |
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If you recommend it, i'd like to pick it up.  |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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daCooksta
Posts:7
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| 07/05/2009 3:26 AM |
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Well, I don't see anything wrong with reading romance novels or watching romantic comedies (I'm kinda a sucker for 'em, so I don't call them chick flicks (I'm a guy)), but I do see pornography as wrong.
"But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28 NKJV)
Adultery is wrong (see the Ten Commandments).
Also see:
"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world--the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life--is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever" (1 John 2:15-17 NKJV)
Granted, the "lust of the flesh" and the "lust of the eyes" could mean other things as well, but it also applies to lust.
Jesus specifically says that lust is the equivalent to adultery, and James says that lust is of this world and not of God.
I'm not saying that the desire to have sex with one's wife or husband is not of God. I, like many, do not consider desiring to have sex with one's spouse to be lust.
Putting lust and romance novels on the same level is incorrect. Yes, guys seem to have a need to satisfy their sex drive, and girls have a need for companionship. But that doesn't mean that, because one of the urges is wrong, the other is wrong as well. As far as I'm aware, the Bible never states that desiring a relationship with another is wrong. However, Jesus states that lust is wrong. And for the record, He says that lust for WOMEN is wrong. Which implies that He's talking to us (meaning guys). Jesus never said "to wish to have an intimate (meaning close, not sexual) relationship with someone is wrong", or "Ladies, don't read scrolls that encourage you to want intimacy".
The Bible holds many incredible love stories (of the romantic sort), like the story of Ruth.
Granted, it also has Song of Solomon, but that is designed to express the joy of a married couple, not expose the lust in young men's hearts.
I understand the parallel in how men and women have different needs, but it's not a perfect metaphor and should not be used to imply that romantic media is morally wrong. Porn (and it's application for masturbation) is wrong, as stated by Jesus.
However, love stories seems to be endorsed by the Bible (love in this case meaning romantic love. The Gospel is the ultimate love story, but it's not the same kind of love as discussed in this context.)
-daCooksta
ps. First post, my Mom gave me the book today, and i've read some of it already. I decided to check out the forum as I read it. |
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daCooksta
Posts:7
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| 07/05/2009 3:27 AM |
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| Sorry if my previous post was not clear, contradicted itself, or did not make much sense. It's about 2.30 in the morning and I may not have everything as together as I would at a more appropriate time of day. |
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daCooksta
Posts:7
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| 07/05/2009 7:41 PM |
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(reply for subscription, sorry for the triple-post)
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 07/05/2009 10:12 PM |
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If i wasn't clear before...
the rason why I said that romance stuff is girl porn is because, for one...
guys don't know how much they actually effect girls, and... if dewlt on long enough, could lead to sexual thoughts etc... it's actually really hard for a girl to watch/read these things and not come away lusting after what they don't have and expecting all guys to be like the guy in the story.
Guys wouldn't really get how girls are effected so badly by these. And I should know, because I struugled with it myself between the ages of 12 - 14... luckily, or God willingly, I got through that, but it's a battle everyday to NOT desire wrongly after guys.
Just like girls would feel violated if they found out a guy was lusting after her etc and it realted to porn, i think a guy would feel violated if a girl was to tell him that when she watches/reads things she's imagining him like that, and thinkibng up all sorts of scenarios and now expects him to behave in that manner towards her, and If he messes up (becuase he's not perfect and could in no way ever live up to that kinda perfection.) that He has to fix himself, and that it's his fault that he's not like the guy in the story.
I'm hopeless at trying to write it in a way that makes sense to guys, maybe one of the guys that get's what I'm saying can try to explain it better 
(I'm not jumping down people's throats, just trying to explain what I was meaning before ) |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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David
Posts:499
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| 07/06/2009 5:46 PM |
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DaCooksta, thank you for your well thought out reply. However, I am going to have to disagree with you.
I don't agree that the verse you cite for lust is gender specific. If what you are saying is taken literally, then the only time a woman can lust is if she is having lesbian desires. This is simply not true. Also, what is lust? Do you not believe in romantic lust?
Without going into to too much detail which I have done many times before, most romantic stories (particularly books and movies) are the moral equivalent of porn in the effect they have on each gender. Essentially, they warp our perceptions of what a relationship should be, to equal degrees. Thus, they are equivalent. Does this mean that every single romantic story is lustful? No. But it also means that not every depiction of sex is lustful or pornographic.
I understand the parallel in how men and women have different needs, but it's not a perfect metaphor and should not be used to imply that romantic media is morally wrong. Porn (and it's application for masturbation) is wrong, as stated by Jesus.
How is it not a perfect metaphor? What is your reasoning for that assertion? Why should it not be used to imply that romantic media is wrong? Can you show me where in the Bible it says not to masturbate? If you cite the verses on lust, I would ask you to show me how masturbation, by itself, is lustful.
I would echo what Jojo said as well.
I, too, am not trying to jump down your throat. We simply disagree |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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lugiebros.
Posts:31
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| 07/06/2009 7:25 PM |
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| all i can say about the subject is this " a man is tempted to sin when he allows himself to be led by his evil thoughts" not that im done, but thats what really got me. im not and have nevr been adicted to porn and i happen to find it disgusting, but i do have a problem with lust. as davd has said its not bad thinking about sex but what you do with the thoughts. if your life is devoted to God then your whole entire life is judged by your thought life. if not , it is important to ask youself who you are and what your morals are. for me ive found out that i cant allow myself to be alone. i have to always carry my bible to assure that if i fall that i have the word to help me fight temptation. those words amoung other passages of scripture have helped me to fight the problem of lust. i do believe it is hard considering we live in a society that feeds us sex on a daily basis and causes us to have a degenerate youth. degenerate meaning that it goes further and further away from the values and morals of GOD. there is a point that lust itself tries to be filled in many way, but in reality they are all cheap substitutes for GOD. |
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i live to serve, love and care about others. |
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Sandy
Posts:48
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| 07/06/2009 11:57 PM |
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I saw the movie a while back (it was a random movie) and I really enjoyed it. It wasn't what I was expecting, but overall I think that's why i liked it  and you are so right about it being sad. |
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Julie Fidler
Posts:172
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| 07/10/2009 11:38 PM |
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The deal with masturbation is, you can't really do it without thinking really raunchy thoughts. (If you say you can, you're lying.) You can't really think about North Korea or your English assignment and "accomplish" your mission. So you have the issue of impure thoughts.
Second, sexual activity is supposed to be an intimate act SHARED between a husband and wife; it's not supposed to be entirely selfish, which is what masturbation essentially is.
From everything I've heard and read, and from my own experiences and listening to the experiences of friends, pornography fills an emotional void - it makes you feel like you are desirable. You can live out your fantasies.
Better to save your innocence and live it out with a loving spouse.
-Julie |
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David
Posts:499
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| 07/11/2009 10:49 PM |
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I'll start by saying this: the questions I ask do not necessarily reflect what I believe. Because I question the morality of masturbation does not mean I endorse the act.
The deal with masturbation is, you can't really do it without thinking really raunchy thoughts. (If you say you can, you're lying.) You can't really think about North Korea or your English assignment and "accomplish" your mission. So you have the issue of impure thoughts.
So the morality of masturbation is dependent on what you are thinking, not on the act itself. I'll ask you this, would it be immoral to masturbate to thoughts of your spouse? If so, how? If it's lustful, how? Is it impure to think sexually about your spouse?
Second, sexual activity is supposed to be an intimate act SHARED between a husband and wife; it's not supposed to be entirely selfish, which is what masturbation essentially is.
If Person A makes a meal for himself but leaves some for Person B who eats the rest later alone, has Person A shared with Person B even though Person A wasn't physically present when Person B partook of what was shared? Does "to share" require immediate physical proximity? More to the point, as I asked above, can masturbation be moral within a marital context? And if not, why not?
From everything I've heard and read, and from my own experiences and listening to the experiences of friends, pornography fills an emotional void - it makes you feel like you are desirable. You can live out your fantasies.
Better to save your innocence and live it out with a loving spouse.
Perhaps for the married man it fills an emotional void, but for the single man it predominately fills a physical desire that he otherwise cannot meet morally.
By your statement, I take you to mean that "living out your fantasies" outside of the proper place for those desires (marriage) is unhealthy. Would you say that to live out one's romantic fantasies outside of the proper place (marriage) would be unhealthy? Here I am asking what you think about the ongoing discussion of how some of us think "chick flicks" act as a sort of female porn. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 07/11/2009 10:59 PM |
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| My friend used to look at porn and I have never seen someone fight with regret so hard. He can't talk about his past without breaking down. He would justify himself as "preparing himself for when he's married" now that he is on the right track and in a pure relationship with me, he gets so upset with himself for realizing how wrong those thoughts were. In a way he almost feels like he has lost his virginity because of what he did. All I can do is remind him that God has forgiven him and so have I and he needs to forgive himself. Porn is such an awful thing and will effect you and others for a life time. |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 07/11/2009 11:06 PM |
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| I forgot to add this. reading romance novels can be addicting to girls! Especially girls with a good imagination. I couldn't even read a kissing scene without remembering it long after. When it comes to kissing on movies, I get grossed out and always turn away. Maybe it's because I know those are just actors and the feelings aren't real. Sort of ruins the effect! Maybe I'm just weird! |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 07/12/2009 12:52 AM |
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| Clare, I'm exactly the same.... i do not watch kissing scenes, quite frankly i think it's disgusting... My dad says to me "Get over it, you'll probably do that someday with your husband" or something to that extent... and i say "Well actually, yes I might, but do I want bazillions of people watching me kiss him? so why do I need to watch others do that?" IDK it's kinda illogical to me... |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 05/07/2011 7:16 AM |
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| and another one. |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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