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Cerno4500
Posts:97
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| 07/01/2009 9:37 PM |
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I need advice on how to ask a girl i like out on a date. I feel like we are good friends. I known her for a bout year now and I really think she is pretty. Now don't get me wrong, judging a girl based only on looks isn't who I am. I count for personality too. I always tell myself, she could be real beautiful outside, but real ugly inside. But this girl is both pretty outside and inside. So anyone with advice, thoughts, opinions, etc. please share.
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Locke
Posts:223
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| 07/02/2009 1:17 AM |
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My first bit of advice: stop thinking about it and do it. My second bit of advice: if she rejects you, so what? There are plenty of other girls out there.
Realistically, the longer you spend dillydallying over it, the harder it'll be to work up the courage to ask her out. Why not just try it? You risk nothing but your pride, and even if she says no I bet she'll think better of you for being willing to ask. |
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It is trifles that make the sum of life. |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 07/02/2009 6:23 PM |
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| From a gril's side...GO FOR IT! She can say no and you'll be hurt a little but that's experience life calls for. She could say yes and you'll be the happiest guy on earth, or she can do like me, give the guy an odd look and say, Why? IF she says that dont get put off! |
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David
Posts:499
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| 07/02/2009 7:45 PM |
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| Locke got it. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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Cerno4500
Posts:97
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| 07/02/2009 11:44 PM |
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| Thnks guys, I really love your advice. |
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riceboi913
Posts:5
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| 07/19/2009 12:36 AM |
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| now i got to try it lolz |
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"the heart wavers because it believes |
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Abi_xD
Posts:34
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| 07/22/2009 5:56 AM |
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I just want to say that even if she says no
it doesnt mean she thinks ur a dog or something
and it would probably give her a lot of confidence knowing that a guy thinks the world of her
she might say no because she truly likes you only as a friend
but she might also say no even if she does like you
because...
she might want to work on her relationship with god before getting into one with a guy
she might be scared and not wanting to ruin the friendship you already have
she might be shocked and thought you would never ask her
BUT you dont know what she will say if you dont ask!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and if you do ask TELL HER WHY YOUR ASKING tell her why shes so special = ]
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David
Posts:499
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| 07/23/2009 8:44 PM |
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This is not a response to Abi specifically, but more a general commentary using the things she said.
she might want to work on her relationship with god before getting into one with a guy
Good reason, though (for the ladies) don't let this last too long.
she might be scared and not wanting to ruin the friendship you already have
If you ever want a relationship worth having this is a risk you have to take.
she might be shocked and thought you would never ask her
Why would this make her say no?and if you do ask TELL HER WHY YOUR ASKING tell her why shes so special = ]
Honestly, this has just as much a chance of backfiring as it does working. Girls are crazy that way. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 07/23/2009 10:21 PM |
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Good reason, though (for the ladies) don't let this last too long.
Why not? Isn't a relationship with God so much more important than a relationship with a guy? I think way too many people get married too soon and to the person that they have "settled" on because they aren't content with being single and letting God lead their lives. |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 07/23/2009 10:21 PM |
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| wow, I'm not sure what happened with the whole quote thing... |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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David
Posts:499
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| 07/23/2009 10:45 PM |
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| What I was trying to say was don't use the idea of working on your relationship with God become an excuse for not getting into a relationship when the right guy comes along. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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David
Posts:499
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| 07/23/2009 10:45 PM |
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...to say was don't use the idea...
...don't let the idea... |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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Abi_xD
Posts:34
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| 07/24/2009 5:16 AM |
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: 0 at the time i thought what i was writing was right
But
David lots of what u said after what i wrote it is true
If a girl is shocked that a guy asks her out, your right that doesnt mean she will say no but she might say no for fear of making a fool of herself. what if she says yes to only find out the guy was joking?
And your also right when u said telling a girl why shes so special can backfire. Girls feel i dunno like weird getting compliments sometimes. If she seems to get mad maybe she just doesnt want to appear like shes full of herself and like she thinks shes perfect. Secretly she likes it thou and it makes her feel more confident.
i hope that, that makes sense = ] |
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David
Posts:499
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| 07/24/2009 10:08 AM |
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| Well, it does make sense in terms of I understand what you are saying, but it doesn't make any sense in terms of what someone should actually do in that situation. If a guy asks you out, the chances of him just joking are astronomically small. When you say no, you make a fool out of him. We're the ones who put our necks on the line and risk rejection time and again. And it's always bugged me that girls require guys to act in such specific, non-realistic ways in order to gain the girl's affection. It's hardly a recipe for us to be ourselves, and then girls wonder why they don't feel connected to us. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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Abi_xD
Posts:34
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| 07/24/2009 11:41 PM |
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Yes but a girl has to put herself on the line as well.
it has been said before a guy wont ask a girl out unless hes really sure she likes him. and how could he know that? The girl has to let him know shes interested but without just saying " I like you, ask me out."
But true the fear of rejection is greater with guys asking a girl out then a girl trying to see if a guy likes her.
I think that when a guy is going to ask a guy out he should find out as much as possible from her friends first. You might find it hard to believe but we talk about almost everything at sleepovers.From talking to her close friends you could probably find out how she would want to be asked out, how she wants to be proposed to, her idea of a perfect date.. the list goes on.
Usually what is said at a sleepover stays there, but if her friends know you have good intentions (and your brave enough to ask) they might tell u a bit. |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 07/25/2009 2:14 PM |
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| So a girl shouldn't tell a guy no just so she can work on her relationship with God? But what about after she's dating and feels herself back sliding. That maybe the bf is starting to mean to much? |
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David
Posts:499
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| 07/25/2009 3:16 PM |
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| If the reason is legitimate, then it is a good reason. It's just that I could see a girl rationalizing her fear of commitment by saying she wants to work on her relationship with God. Sometimes, being in a good, God-centered romantic relationship at the appropriate time is exactly what is needed to further your relationship with God. The intimacy of marriage is supposed to reflective of our relationship with God, after all. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 07/28/2009 1:56 AM |
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Ok firstly, I think "working on her relationship with God" is a good reason, and actually it should take as long as she needs it to take, cuz for one, A girl "doesn't NEED" a man, she can live quite easily without one, same goes for guys... they dont NEED a girl... and our relationship with God is acutally the most important relationship we'll have so technically, it should require the most work and the most time. If a guy can't understand that he's gonna come 2nd to God everytime, then chances are I'm not going to be keen on building a relationship with him. and guys should be the same with girls.
If a guy asks you out, the chances of him just joking are astronomically small. When you say no, you make a fool out of him. We're the ones who put our necks on the line and risk rejection time and again.
Actually.... I've seen it happen countless times, when guys are asking girls out as a joke... and it's really sad.
or sometimes they ask the girl out cuz they were dared to and don't actually like you etc.
I myself have been one of those girls who got asked out as a joke and luckily I was smart enough to say no (cuz actually i found the guy creepy...) but if a guy is asking you out as a joke, he kinda deserves the "no" if he does recieve one, cuz he was trying to make a fool out of the girl, and it backfired. and yet again, if the situation was reversed, I wouldn't hold it against a guy if he said no to a girl. she was being a cow and deserved to be put in her place.
I also agree that a girl saying "yes" is putting herself on the line for rejection.
But I'll also say... talking to her friends is good... but when you talk to them TOO much, the girl can get suspicious, cuz us girls are prone to that... and then she might think you like the friend and then move on, and when you ask her out, she's already over you and most likely will say no... but thats an EXTREME case lol.
IDk for me, if a guy likes me, he should just talk to me, cuz I'll let him know what i like and don't like, and I'll ask him about what he likes and doesn't like, and mostlikely my friends will know alot, but my friends (specifically) would give the guy "warped" info, if i can put it that way... like it will come from their perspective... like my friends who know me the most party and get drunk etc, and they might suggest "ask her to go to a club with you or something" and to that, I'd reply with a BIG FAT NO cuz, I don't drink or "party" lol. and my friends are actually quite annoyed that I won't drink etc with them and try to "make" me join them, but I refuse and it ticks them off more, so I wouldn't be surprised if they tried to get a guy to get me to join in their "fun"  holpefully that made sense  |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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David
Posts:499
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| 07/28/2009 11:45 AM |
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Ok firstly, I think "working on her relationship with God" is a good reason, and actually it should take as long as she needs it to take, cuz for one, A girl "doesn't NEED" a man, she can live quite easily without one, same goes for guys... they dont NEED a girl... and our relationship with God is acutally the most important relationship we'll have so technically, it should require the most work and the most time. If a guy can't understand that he's gonna come 2nd to God everytime, then chances are I'm not going to be keen on building a relationship with him. and guys should be the same with girls.
Yes, it is a good reason if it is a legitimate reason. My point wasn't to stop working on your relationship with God to date, but that if, at the right time, you aren't dating because of fear or something, and you rationalize it by saying you are working on your relationship with God, then that is a problem. Also, how exactly will you know when your relationship with God is at a point where you are ready to date? No one will ever have a perfect relationship with God as no one is perfect. This means that everyone will always have room to improve their relationship with Him. At what level of imperfect relationship is it then ok to date?
Actually.... I've seen it happen countless times, when guys are asking girls out as a joke... and it's really sad.
or sometimes they ask the girl out cuz they were dared to and don't actually like you etc.
I myself have been one of those girls who got asked out as a joke and luckily I was smart enough to say no (cuz actually i found the guy creepy...) but if a guy is asking you out as a joke, he kinda deserves the "no" if he does recieve one, cuz he was trying to make a fool out of the girl, and it backfired. and yet again, if the situation was reversed, I wouldn't hold it against a guy if he said no to a girl. she was being a cow and deserved to be put in her place.
Seriously? Wow. I've never really seen that. Those guys are jerks. I would still say that most of the time if a guy asks a girl out he is serious. Most guys aren't that mean.
I also agree that a girl saying "yes" is putting herself on the line for rejection.
Wouldn't this only be true if the guy is joking? If he is being serious, which I still think happens most of the time, then how is she risking rejection by saying yes? |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 07/28/2009 6:25 PM |
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Yes, it is a good reason if it is a legitimate reason. My point wasn't to stop working on your relationship with God to date, but that if, at the right time, you aren't dating because of fear or something, and you rationalize it by saying you are working on your relationship with God, then that is a problem. Also, how exactly will you know when your relationship with God is at a point where you are ready to date? No one will ever have a perfect relationship with God as no one is perfect. This means that everyone will always have room to improve their relationship with Him. At what level of imperfect relationship is it then ok to date?
O.k. I get what you're saying now and I agree with that
Wouldn't this only be true if the guy is joking? If he is being serious, which I still think happens most of the time, then how is she risking rejection by saying yes?
This is true, but how are us girls supposed to know if he's joking or not...
I used to struggle with this concept alot when i was younger. Now I've just thought "It's better to know where you stand from the start, so even if it is a joke, say how you feel and if it does turn out to be a joke, it's better finding out now than dwelling on what could have happened and getting hurt alot more" if that makes sense haha, I seem to be writing that alot lately |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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