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Abi_xD
Posts:34
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| 07/22/2009 4:52 AM |
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I would like to ask guys
If a girl barely talks to you even though you you see each other a lot do you automatically think shes a snob and she thinks shes too good to talk to you?
I barely talk to guys at my youth group and church for fear of saying something stupid or them rejecting me. Lately i've come to believe that because of this they think im a snob and dont want to be their friends. (i dont have any proof that they actually think this)
What should i do? And plus i would like to know what you think they are probably thinking. |
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David
Posts:499
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| 07/22/2009 11:25 AM |
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I might not think she's a snob or all high and mighty, but I would be like to think that she doesn't like me or doesn't want to talk to me, which would ultimately lead to the same result as me thinking she was a snob: avoiding her and not wanting to be around her. We guys aren't mind readers and we don't know when a girl likes or dislikes us when she isn't overt with her feeling. In the romantic sense, it's too much to expect a guy to pursue you even when you give him no indication you are interested.
My advice to you is to develop a more outgoing attitude. Contrary to popular belief, this is quite possible. Simply start doing the hard things: start talking to people, join conversations, just be more sociable. It will come easier in time. Quite a few years ago I literally could not physically make myself talk to a girl, and now I talk to most girls I get the opportunity to. Best of luck. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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Locke
Posts:223
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| 07/22/2009 11:25 AM |
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I would notice, but I wouldn't feel snubbed unless she had a 'holier-than-thou' or 'I'm better than you' attitude and it was a pretty obvious to me.
We all say stupid things sometimes - I do, but I made a choice a long time ago that even if I say something dumb, my friends are worth spending time with anyways - sure, they'll make fun of me for a bit, but they drop it soon enough, and I can laugh at myself.
The best advice I have to offer is go out there and talk to them even if you feel silly or fear rejection - guys fear rejection too. Working through your fear will make you more comfortable around other people in general, not just guys. |
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It is trifles that make the sum of life. |
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sarah
Posts:8
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| 07/22/2009 11:06 PM |
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This is something I've been wondering for a while...
I will act more outgoing toward guys I don't 'like' because I'm not afraid of what people think about how I feel toward them, because it's not true... but then I seem to be more timid, and hardly talk to the guys I do kinda 'like', because I don't want to be seen as a flirt... but now I'm worried... do those guys think that I'm not as outgoing around them because I don't like them, and dislike being around them and don't want to be their friend?? :o yikes... |
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Koudee
Posts:91
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| 07/22/2009 11:23 PM |
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Sorry Sarah, but that is often a huge indicator for me. If a girl is really responsive, talks to me, etc. Then I'm really confident that she likes me.
Interesting that you should bring this one up. I'm kinda glad you did because yesterday I called this girl I'm interested in and I ended up talking the whole time, for the most part. And I was kind of wondering what the deal was, but now I know that maybe she is just nervous?
And no guy takes just talking to them as flirting, there are always subtle things that the girl does while she is talking to us that make her look like a flirt.
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Abi_xD
Posts:34
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| 07/22/2009 11:33 PM |
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Thank you David and Locke its good to know that they at least dont hate me = ]
I guess im just going to have to fear rejection less
Sarah i know completly what your talking about good luck = ] |
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Abi_xD
Posts:34
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| 07/22/2009 11:39 PM |
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Koudee thats interesting and im glad to know that a guy wont positively assume a girl likes him just just because she talked to him
I think that the girl you talked to on the phone was most likely nervous. She was probably thinking : ok be nice, but dont sound to eager, and dont say anything stupid otherwise he might think im a weirdo
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Koudee
Posts:91
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| 07/23/2009 6:54 AM |
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| hahaha, ok ok! thanks Abi! that makes sence she is uber shy! (don't wanna talk more about it, lets get pack on topen Neh?) |
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David
Posts:499
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| 07/23/2009 10:41 AM |
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I will act more outgoing toward guys I don't 'like' because I'm not afraid of what people think about how I feel toward them, because it's not true... but then I seem to be more timid, and hardly talk to the guys I do kinda 'like', because I don't want to be seen as a flirt...
What you are doing is somewhat backwards. It sounds to me like you aren't worried if the guys you don't like think you like them ("I'm not afraid of what people think about how I feel toward them, because it's not true"), but you don't want to be seen as a flirt to the guys you do like. Does this mean you don't mind seeming like a flirt to those that you shouldn't (e.g., the guys you don't like), but that you don't want to seem like a flirt to the guys with whom you should flirt (e.g., the guys you like)? My advice is to reverse your thinking and actions. Be more conservative acting around the guys you don't like, because that is where you need to be careful about not seeming like a flirt. But when you like a guy, flirt with him! It doesn't have to be outright and one-sided, but don't be afraid to playfully tease him or let your arm brush his, etc. If a girl I'm attracted to is flirting with me, it greatly increases the likelihood of my asking her out. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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Abi_xD
Posts:34
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| 07/23/2009 10:13 PM |
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HEY this forums supposed to be about me! Jokes!
Im so glad that this can help other people too without having to start a new topic thingy
im really glad sarah asked that question before because im kinda in that situation too. except i hardly talk to guys at all. Just some that i know i dont like and i dont think will judge me.
But this does make me confuzed about something else
Theres a guy at my church hes a couple years older but i can really talk to him.
He's super cool and not judgemental so i talk to him all the time.
I know he doesnt 'like' me and he has a girlfriend but now im thinking does he think i 'like' him? Cause i guess i treat him differently to other guys. = 0 |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 07/24/2009 2:13 PM |
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| I hate those kinds of situations. There was a young man I didn't "like" but we were just awesome friends and talked alot about anything. Someone thought we really liked eachother and we got in big trouble. (ok he did like me and I tried to make it clear I wasn't into that). So how can a girl talk to a guy without making it look like we like them? I find it really easy to talk to a guy and really hard to talk to a girl...! |
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Koudee
Posts:91
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| 07/27/2009 7:14 PM |
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Here is what I think clare, I'm not sure if other guys feel the same way, but I can ALWAYS tell the differece when a girl is just being friendley or likes me.
There is always the "cool girl" you can just chat up about your day or whatever, and that is what the relatioship is. But then there is always the other girl, who holds your stare just a half second longer then she needed to, who looks at the empty seat next to you like she wants to sit in it, but wont, who looks at you with wide eyes when you say her name.
We can totally tell. Truth is that if a guy is going to think that any girl who just talks to him is hitting on him, that isn't you, thats him. |
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