| Author |
Messages |
|
Christina
Posts:90
 |
| 07/29/2009 1:32 PM |
|
Ok so this has been weighing on me for a few months and has come between me and a friend of mine.
I was invited by a friends to a 'slumber party' and at first I wasn't going to go. To be honest the idea kind of freaked me out. But the more I thought about it the more I realized what a good way to become informed about what to do when I get married. It was one of those things where it was all girls and the lady who put it on was a nurse. There was open discussions where you could ask any questions. And it was really informative about what will happen when I do get married, and what to... for lack of better word, look foward to.  I didn't go to do anything or get anything, just to see what it was about.
But while talking about the invite to a friend, she started condemning me about even considering going. She would say that it was wrong for me to go. That I was wrong. She said that i shouldn't even entertain those thoughts, I tried to explain that it wasn't anything like that I was just going to see what it was about. But needless to say, we aren't friends anymore. It is one thing to disagree with my choice, but it is another thing altogether to condemn me for that choice.
I guess what I'm looking for here is other opinions. Who do you think was right. I won't be offended if you differ. Just don't condemn me.  |
|
Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will recieve the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12
|
|
|
David
Posts:499
|
| 07/29/2009 2:21 PM |
|
What sort of group was this? Was it Christian themed or not?
It sounds like it was a group where you go to learn a bit about sex within a safe environment with an adult who won't lie to you. Honestly, I don't see a problem with it, but then again I know I'm sometimes in the minority here with how I feel about this kind of thing. Truth is, we are sexual being well before we ever get married, and it's impossible to suppress that side of ourselves effectively until that point (attempts at this are often met with some pretty negative results). In my opinion, the Church has wrongfully suppressed the sexuality of young people by treating sex as a taboo subject, when it should have been encouraging the proper knowledge, respect for, and development of our sexualities. Given that this lady who was there was giving you good information, I would say it is much better for you to learn about it from a source like that than from most others.
What did your friend mean by "entertain those thoughts"? Thoughts of sex? That's ridiculous. Of course you're going to think about sex, maybe even look forward to it, and that's a good thing. Sex is supposed to be fun, right? It's one of the best, most interesting and innovative things God ever created. It's something to look forward to. Sure, if you dwell on it in the wrong ways it is lustful, but that doesn't mean that ever thinking about sex or even looking forward to it is wrong or lustful.
It just doesn't seem to me that God intended for us to go into our wedding night having absolutely no idea what to expect. Sure, we shouldn't be experts necessarily, but we shouldn't be completely ignorant. As the Master says, we should be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves. |
|
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
|
|
Christina
Posts:90
|
| 07/29/2009 2:30 PM |
|
It wasn't a Christian themed thing, but I can't think of any church that would offer that kind of get together, they all just push it under the rug. But they did talk about it within the confines of marriage. So I had absolutely no problem with it.
And yeah she basically said that thinking about sex is... wrong. I strongly disagree.
I for one cannot wait to get married to explore that part of the relationship! God made it to be enjoyable. But that is just my opinion, and I've found that talking with other girls in my church, that they were told to not think or speak about it until your married. Which honestly, that scares me. How are they going to know what to expect... or anything else, if it isn't talked about. But Oh well Tis just ones girls opnion. Thanks for your input. I really appreciate it. And it is good to know that I'm not alone in my thinking.
|
|
Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will recieve the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12
|
|
|
David
Posts:499
|
| 07/29/2009 2:45 PM |
|
As I said above, one of the greatest disservices the church does to young people is its treatment of sex. One consequence of this with girls that are raised in this environment is that often enough they either go absolutely crazy in college (partying, sleeping around, worse than that, etc.) or they are so suppressed that once they actually do get married they are, at first, incapable of having sex, having had it ingrained for so long that sex is bad. Either one of these circumstances is not good. As unmarried people, the subject of sex is something to be careful with, but not something to be avoided altogether.
I'd like to hear other's opinions as well. |
|
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
|
|
|