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Tman
Posts:15
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| 08/25/2009 6:34 AM |
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Hi friends, a bit of advice from the girls would be cool 
So, I met this girl at a friends party about 3 weeks ago and she seemed real neat so I asked for her number and then txted her asking if she wanted to meet up for coffee. We met up along with a mutual friend and we really seemed to click.
We got talking later that week and she invited me to her church, so I went and brought a friend of mine (cause I was picking her up and didn't want it to be just us 2 at this stage). She seemed to really enjoy the night and we had great fun and laughs and she said we made it more fun
So now I've been txting her and I asked if she wanted to come to a dress-up party with me this weekend. Shes kinda been avoiding answering it and she isn't acting as keen as before.
How come? lol. Any advice from the girls would be much appreciated
Do you think I should back right off and let her make the next move?
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 08/25/2009 6:39 AM |
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firstly, that could mean any number of things lol
Like for instance, I tend to ignore the guy Ilike at the moment when he makes all these attempts to impress me... and I know you would think that's bizarre, but that's what I do... 
and secondly, have you maybe asked her if she got the txt or invite or whatever? if she still doesn't reply, then back off for a while and if she hasn't said anything, then maybe try again...?? IDk what do the rest of you girls think? |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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David
Posts:499
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| 08/25/2009 9:32 AM |
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Like for instance, I tend to ignore the guy Ilike at the moment when he makes all these attempts to impress me
Um... Why? |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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continulyjoy
Posts:9
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| 08/25/2009 9:42 AM |
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Hmmm... sounds familiar! Except that I was the girl in a similar situation awhile back. I enjoyed being around him, but a relationship was out of the question at the time. I hadn't known the guy before, and when he started wanting to do something every week - or more than once a week - I began to feel very vulnerable. I treated him exactly as you describe that girl to be treating you. I wanted him to back off a bit so I could get to know him as a friend without feeling pursued... but he didn't get the point and asked me out after 3 weeks. Long story short, I ended up saying no, but I still wonder at times if it would be different if he had given me a little more space and waited a few months... being together maybe once every two or three weeks... I did think he was a nice guy (a very nice guy!) but I had a ministry focus and had committed not to date during that time... plus I've heard too many stories of couples that got together after knowing each other for a short amount of time and either they didn't stay together or have very difficult marriages... I guess I was frightened...
So my advice for you is to back off a bit and give her some time to get used to who you are as a person. Keep her guessing a bit and don't let her know you like her yet. I don't know if you do this, but maybe even ask her dad before spending a lot of time with her. That would have made a difference in my situation.
Hope this helps... and that I'm making sense... |
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i live.
i laugh.
and
i
love
Jesus! |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 08/25/2009 6:21 PM |
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LOL as to David... IDk why I do... I just do... maybe it's because the kind of attention he gives me is WAY TOO MUCH and I feel embarrassed and uncomfortable... he tends to be very opver the top... does that make sense?
and like continulyjoy I have too been the girls and behaved that way for the exact same reasons as her 
especially cuz we were at a camp and I'd only know this guy for like 2 days and he asked me out, and it FREAKED ME OUT! lol |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Tman
Posts:15
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| 08/27/2009 1:01 AM |
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| Yeah, thanks for your feedback. But don't girls want to be pursued? I thought that was a big part of FYMO? Like how the "bad boys" weren't afraid of going after girls but instead were confident, took a risk and new what they wanted. Is that what girls look for in a guy? |
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maddiegirl
Posts:210
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| 08/27/2009 6:23 PM |
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lol i do that too sometimes.........
Tman = ok, maybe she thinks everythings speeding up 2 fast. like u might not think so, but maybe she needs time to figure out what she thinks bout you relationship -- like if she likes it & wants 2 pursue being w/ u, if she wants 2 be just friends, or what. so i'd say just back off & let her have some time to figure it all out. hope that helped. =D wish u luck w/ her |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 08/27/2009 6:31 PM |
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Girls do like to be pursued... we do like a guy who will take the risk and ask us out, but we don't want to be pursued so fast that we don't even know what's going on or why does that make sense?
idk some girls will go out with a guy without knowing him, but any of the decent ones want to get to know you first |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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David
Posts:499
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| 08/27/2009 7:38 PM |
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The problem is the decent ones are few and far between. Most girls seem to date perpetually. Once they break up with one guy they are almost immediately with another. It makes guys think we have to move really, really fast or else we won't get a chance. Often enough, taking your time with a girl is a recipe to watch her get taken by another guy.
Girls want to be pursued, but they don't want to be pursued by every guy. Haven't you ever noticed that one guy will say or do something towards a girl and she'll just love it, but another guy will do the exact same thing to her and she'll hate it? |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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Lindsey
Posts:70
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| 08/28/2009 11:29 AM |
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I agree with JoJo.I dont like being persued,but it depends on the guy.If I like him alot and he were to persued me I wouldn't mind.
-Lindsey* |
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Becky
Posts:13
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| 01/15/2010 7:52 PM |
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| David, i got what your saying, but girls kinda feel the same way. i feel like there are so few good guys out there that i need to take it slow and really get to know them before i date them, because i dont want the relationship to last for only a week,and then end up dating another guy, and then i look like one of those "not good" girls. |
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"In the same way let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in Heaven"
Matthew 5:16 |
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smileybookworm
Posts:48
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| 01/16/2010 7:57 PM |
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| Next time you see her I would ask her if you're moving too fast. Girls appreciate honesty. If she says yes then just hang out in group settings and get to know her as a friend. Let the adoration blossom and see if it blooms or wilts once it hits the sunlight. Good luck! |
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Jesus has a thing for losers.
-Losers by Me in Motion |
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allyouare11
Posts:4
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| 02/01/2010 9:23 PM |
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| I completely agree with JoJo. It would seem that if you like a guy, you're going to want to hang out with them and be around them as much as you can. But for me, when I know that they like me too, it's totally different. One of my standards is that I won't date until after college... I'm 17 right now. Obviously, it's a long time to wait. So when this sort of thing happens, I get anxious. I would rather have a conversation with the guy about it all and tell him what my standards are, instead of him trying to impress me all the time. It's like... I know you like me, so chill out. Maybe it doesn't make sense. And yes, if I find the guy that God wants me to marry before college, and we both feel, with our parents, that we should pursue each other, then I'm totally willing to change my standards. But so far, nothing like that has happened. |
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~Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity. 1 Timothy 4:12~ |
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allyouare11
Posts:4
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| 02/01/2010 9:26 PM |
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| Oh, and Tman, yes girls want to be pursued - to a point. Right now I'm going through this weird thing with a guy that I rarely see. And I SOOOO wish he would just step out of his comfort zone and tell me what's going on - girls (well, at least most Christian girls) will not and do not want to take the first step. And it's so frustrating. Sure, maybe some guys are shy... but they're going to have to step up someday. So yes, we want to be pursued... but don't overdo it with her. Back off a bit... and like JoJo said, ask her if she even got the invite and then see what she says. Girls are confusing, I know... but haha personally I think you guys are worse. |
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~Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity. 1 Timothy 4:12~ |
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Liz
Posts:341
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| 02/03/2010 3:20 PM |
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Some girls take being persued and totally twist it. they act all friendly and lead on the guy, but then complain to their girlfriends about him being "so annoying".
I like being persued to a point. If I see that a guy is going out of his comfort zone to talk to me - that's really cool, but if he's doing that ALL THE TIME, or doing abnormal things...that's a turn-off!
But yes, Christian girls usually don't want to be the persuers!
@allyouare: That is really cool that you're waiting until after collage to date! I decided I'm not going to start dating until I think I'm ready to get married. That could be after collage, i'm not sure yet!
Girls are confusing, I know... but haha personally I think you guys are worse.
I'm not always sure about that..... But of course you have to say that, otherwise you would be demeaning your own gender. |
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A girl should be so lost in God that a guy has to go in Him in order to find her |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 02/13/2010 10:15 PM |
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Guys aren't that confusing. there are some things that can't be explained and just need to be accepted. Such as why guys need guy time. But then I guess girls need girl time.
I think every one on here has given good advice. I like being pursued by a guy, but when things go too fast my response is to freak out an do some something rash. Like not answer him or tell him he's a freak and get away. When really I meant to say hey slow down let me digest what's going on and I'll let you know when I'm ready to keep going.
I was dating a guy for 4 months and then he wanted to get married, and he wanted to be married in the next two months. My response was "slow down" he couldn't get what that meant so I broke up with him completely. (I'm leaving out many other details) but that's an example of things going a little too fast. |
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smileybookworm
Posts:48
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| 02/15/2010 7:43 PM |
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| wow clair, Just wondering how old you were? |
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Jesus has a thing for losers.
-Losers by Me in Motion |
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Slayde
Posts:9
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| 02/28/2010 2:30 AM |
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Posted By David on 08/27/2009 7:38 PM
Girls want to be pursued, but they don't want to be pursued by every guy. Haven't you ever noticed that one guy will say or do something towards a girl and she'll just love it, but another guy will do the exact same thing to her and she'll hate it?
Exactly what my problem is at the moment! Girls, care to shed some light on this? |
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4 out of 3 people admit that they are bad with fractions. |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 02/28/2010 10:01 AM |
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I've never had two guys do or say the exact same thing to me. One guy could innocently say I look great in that dress without making me uncomfortable because of his attitude, and another guy could come up right after him and say the same words but his body language will creep me out. Does that make sense?
I'm not really sure why I connect romantically with certain guys, while I don't with others. Aren't there some girls you're just not interested in, even though they are great girls?
By the way, Slayde, I liked what you said on that other post about the most important part- praying. |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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Slayde
Posts:9
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| 02/28/2010 2:01 PM |
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| Wow, I never thought of it that way. Thanks, Adelynn. |
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4 out of 3 people admit that they are bad with fractions. |
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