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Tman
Posts:15
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| 09/07/2009 12:10 AM |
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Hey.
Whats a good way to tell a girl that she is beautiful without coming across as being a player/sleaze ball?
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ToNyMaN
Posts:0
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| 09/07/2009 1:44 AM |
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Try looking at her like god does.
tell her that when you see her, she always alittle more beautiful every time.
u can create EMPHASIS on her virtues
EX
"I love ur eyes, they are brighter than the sun, but they wont hurt me like the sun does"
"i think ur the only person that's smile can can make my day"
"no matter how u see urself, ur my definition of beautiful"
tell her she's better than everything u like. |
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Bethany
Posts:8
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| 09/07/2009 5:32 PM |
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Aw, those are so cute...the only thing I have to say is don't go for the "you're eyes are brighter than the sun" unless you know her well. Not to say it's not sweet or anything, and I respect the way you phrased it, but some girls might take that as a pick up line and walk away. Otherwise, those are pretty adorable!
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Bethany
Posts:8
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| 09/07/2009 5:36 PM |
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Oh, I forgot, the other way to let a girl know you REALLY think she's beautiful is to not expect praise when you say it. If you say, "Wow, you look really beautiful today!" and then sit there waiting for her to say thanks or, "You look good, too." it sends a bit of a wrong message.
It would be cool if you were to slip it into the conversation and not make a big deal out of it. Most girls don't take being complimented well...not sure why we don't, but it seems like it's impossible just to have someone say, "You look cute today," without getting all awkward.
I guess that's all I have to say...hope it helps!
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emilyjanelle
Posts:510
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| 09/10/2009 5:21 PM |
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It would be cool if you were to slip it into the conversation and not make a big deal out of it. Most girls don't take being complimented well...not sure why we don't, but it seems like it's impossible just to have someone say, "You look cute today," without getting all awkward.
I agree! my guy friend would always (he's away for 15 months, but he still does online) just randomly stop in the middle of a sentence, or if I was saying something, and stare at me (not creepy, but just look) and something like, "you look so pretty today, did I tell you that?" or "your eyes are so blue, gosh." it doesn't have to be the most amazing pick-up line (compliment, etc.) ever, just from your heart. :]
and I agree with that (most) girls don't take compliments well. I know I don't! and I know I'm attractive, yeah. but like, when my guy friend would say afore mentioned things, I wouldn't know what to say back! "gee, thanks?" or "oh *giggle*" one of my closest girl friends (who's in a relationship) and I confer on this alot. it's weird! we just don't quite know what else to say back. "oh, you look beautiful, too!" haha. any suggestions, guys? I usually just smile really big and laugh or say thank-you when my guy says anything sweet. is that alright, or could it be better? |
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You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
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David
Posts:499
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| 09/10/2009 8:35 PM |
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To the original poster, just call her beautiful. That word can often carry a great deal more significance than words like "hot" or even Of course, the answer to the question "should you call her that" depends entirely on the girl. Like the girls here are saying, girls don't take compliments very well for some reason. If you can learn to make her feel beautiful without saying it, that might work better. You can also try saying it in a non-forthright way; something like if she's dressed particularly nice, say, "Wow, you clean up really well." Of course, there is a certain technique behind that phrase. This technique is quite effective though fairly manipulative: the qualified compliment. Girls respond much better if when you compliment them you qualify the compliment; something like, "You know, if you cut your hair this certain way, you'd look good." You're complimenting them but not really. Doing this plays on their feelings of attraction and makes them seek your approval. It's manipulative but it works. Girls receive vastly more compliments than we guys do, and what you want to do is make yourself appear different than every other guy who is complimenting her. Really, I say that mostly for the girls, so you can all realize the sorts of things that guys end up doing (read: are often required to do) to attract girls. As I've said many times, the method which actually works in attracting girls is a flawed, harmful method, but only girls can change that.
To Emilyjanelle, what might be better is if you compliment him back. As I just said, girls receive a huge amount of compliment, especially when compared to the amount of compliments guys receive. This is not because we don't like being complimented, it's because, for some reason, girls rarely compliment us. It's an ironic double-standard, then, that we're the gender expected to be incredibly confident when it's girls that are given all the reasons to be confident. If you want to make him feel special, compliment his looks. If you're doing something with him, tell him you just can't concentrate because he is too distracting (in a good way). Let yourself be impressed by him and let him know you're impressed. Basically, compliment him back. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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Rose
Posts:137
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| 09/10/2009 9:33 PM |
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| David: As a girl, I think that I would be a little offended if a guy said, "If you cut your hair this certain way, you'd look good." You have to keep in mind that girls are REALLY sensitive, and often take things the wrong way (sad, but true). Now, if she comes to you and seems undecided about whether to get her hair cut or not, you could say, "Yeah, I think you'd look really pretty with short hair," or "I think your long hair is beautiful." That is something that would be appreciated. I wouldn't mention anything about her physical appearance that she should change unless she asks for your advice. But I'm just one girl... I'm sure it differs with each girl to some extent. |
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God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of POWER, of LOVE, and of SELF-DISCIPLINE. So do not be afraid to testify about our LORD.
~2 Timothy 1:7-8 |
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emilyjanelle
Posts:510
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| 09/10/2009 10:51 PM |
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@ Rose - I totally agree. if a guy would say something to me like, "that shirt really doesn't work for ya. I liked the one you wore yesterday though." I'd be like "*long pause* er? okay?" haha.
but, one of my close girl friends was in a (crappy, mind you) relationship over a year ago for almost 2 years. she was so attached to this kid that she did in fact cut her hair extremely short (it was cute, but not what she personally wanted) because he had mentioned, "I would love to see you with short hair." thank God that's over! haha. but that's just an example of how people's (not just guy's, but anybody close to us) compliments can really manipulate what we do with ourselves.
@ David - thanks for that! I completely agree. and I do try to compliment him, but now I'm gonna try even more, since you said that's a good thing. thanks again! |
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You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
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David
Posts:499
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| 09/11/2009 12:58 AM |
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I think you guys may have misinterpreted what I meant, though that's probably my fault as I probably didn't explain it very well. The point isn't to insult a girl, it's to keep her guessing and to get her to seek your approval. That "technique" works best with the girls who have guys going after them all the time. Basically, the mindset behind that technique is the anti-nice-guy. To put it into terms that might make more sense, as guys, if we want to easily attract girls, we have to be the attractive version of a jerk - not a nice guy.
Bear in mind, there are exceptions to this rule. The more spiritually mature a girl is, the more likely she will be the exception. You girls, and your friends, might be the exceptions. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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David
Posts:499
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| 09/11/2009 1:05 AM |
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Keep in mind, if you look at most of the romantic stories and things that most resonate with women, if you look at the reoccurring themes, you see that discord and disharmony are a big part of the initial part of a romantic relationship (a great example here is Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett). Women typically don't seem to be initially attracted to guys who are initially supportive and full of compliments and nice things. These guys automatically give girls everything they want, thus making them boring. That's one of the problems with being a nice guy. The guys who don't do this, the guys who know how to give "qualifying compliments" in the right way, are seen as a challenge. What they're really doing is manipulating girls into seeking their (the guys) approval. If you do this, you create feelings of desire in a girl.
While the above is true with the vast majority of girls (Christian and non), it's a very, very sad thing that causes me no end of irritation. The discord and tension which initially causes attraction ends up pushing the girl away. Pride and Prejudice never happens in real life, though girls are taught it will. I've said it before, with most girls the qualities that cause them to be initially attracted to a guy are the very qualities that eventually push her away (and vice versa).
The reason I say all of this is so that you girls can be aware of how the culture is subtly, even subliminally trying to affect you. It's important to know. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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Tman
Posts:15
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| 09/11/2009 7:59 AM |
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thanks for all your feedback
OK so, I've been trying to tell this girl that I think she's beautiful. And the other day, cause she just got her braces off I was like "You've got the most beautiful teeth." It was kinda random, and not the most eloquent compliment LOL. But I think she still liked it it was funny cause she was just like......ummm haha thanks.
Do you think that complimenting a girl is an appropriate way of sharing that you like her without explicitly saying you do? What do you girls think when a guy compliments you? Would it hint to the fact that he may like you?
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initstime
Posts:3
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| 09/11/2009 11:23 AM |
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Just make it authentic and real, not like something you read out of a book or saw on a movie. At least that's what works for me. Girls are generally attracted to confidence and authenticity. That's the reason why they sometimes don't go for the stereotypical "nice guy." She may feel uncomfortable if you are constantly acting like you worship the ground she walks on, but I'm sure she appreciates sincere compliments. Just make it direct and heartfelt and don't try to make it any sugary than it needs to be. I think the compliment you gave her is very sweet...I bet she loved it because not only was it genuine and complimentary, but I'm sure it made her feel like you were sharing in her happiness about getting her braces off.
And, yes, if you compliment her she will probably start getting the hint that you are interested, especially if she sees you complimenting her but not other girls. However, I'm all in favor of you just coming right out and telling her that you admire her and would like to continue to get to know her better. |
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Jonathan
Posts:2
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| 09/11/2009 5:11 PM |
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| I have recently learned the fact of seeing my potential mate thorugh Gods eyes, I notice the simple things about her, I compliment her, then continue with my conversation or whatever I was originally doing, for example I notice her earings and that she likes pearls I would complement her earings and how beautiful they look on her, then I continue working on what i was doing orginally or in the middle of a conversation, Now She has no feelings for me "", lol, but I still have an intrest, she is a close friend, But the most important thing is that God is in control, I believe that when he is in control, He will work on your favor if it is his will first, I learned this through seeking God, and no matter what, He is what I keep my confidence in, so that when she starts noticing me, it wont be just because of my comments or telling her how beautiful she is, it would be because she notices how deep in Love iam of Jesus, and I think thats the best way to tell her she's Beautiful, Just be yourself and let God control that area in your life. and remember Patience is a virtue....... |
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Nicole
Posts:552
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| 09/11/2009 6:19 PM |
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| Girls love it when a guy, or at least a close guy friend, compliments her from the heart. In a sense, it can make her feel beautiful inside and out. Or at least i think so. I just have one bit of advice: when you compliment her, just make sure it doesn't come across as a pick up line of sorts, then she might be all like "um, okay, weird..." or else take it as something else. I agree with Bethany about slipping compliments into conversations, it's a good way to make it seem less awkward. Me, i don't receive compliments everyday, so I can't say much on this topic, but I do have to say that Jonathan has got the idea. |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 09/12/2009 7:38 PM |
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| It was really hard for me at first but giving a compliment is almost as fun as receiving one. @ the guys, if a girl looks really good in a certain color, comment to her when she's wearing it. Or it there's something she is selfconciouse about try to build her up (that goes for guys too girls) I always had a hard time with a few of my facial features. I have no idea why. but when my boyfriend started telling me those features are what made ME and he wouldn't want me to look any different, I kind of got over it. Not like I can change my nose much! @ the girls...give compliments to guys how they give them to you. Don't say a guy is beautiful, but if you know he has been working on his weight and you've noticed a change, tell him he's making progress you're proud of him. Let him know what color goes with him too! Hey that green shirt goes good on you (ok this is how i would of said it to my bf...that green shirt goes good with you're red face, but that orange one looks awful! ya i was teasing him) |
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MyLifeHisWill
Posts:184
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| 09/14/2009 6:26 PM |
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| Haha well heres a don't. If you see this girl, do NOT, i repeat NOT, find something to criticize about her. If she walks in (if she's your girlfriend she probably spent time getting all dolled up for you - keep this in mind) and the first thing you say is, "Why are you wearing two tank tops?" or "Your mascara is smeared" it doesnt matter how many times you say you think she looks gorgeaous today, she will not listen. In her opinion, you pointed out the flaw, and thats all you saw, and her efforts to make your jaw drop failed. This is not a happy feeling lol. So find something nice to say! NEVER criticize before you compliment...ever. |
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I don't want to just "live" I want to experience life. |
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Nicole
Posts:552
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| 10/09/2009 8:31 PM |
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Well, to add my two cents on MLHW's comment: It does help if you compliment her before you criticize, if you do. As a girl, i'm pretty self conscious about what i wear around guys. (Do i look okay? Is what I'm wearing modest enough? Is there anything from my lunch on my face? etc) So if i happened to come across one of my guy friends and the first thing he says is: "why are you wearing mismatched socks?" I'll give a reason, but for the rest of the time hanging out together, i'm going to be very aware of the fact that my socks don't match, and make a mental note of not doing the same thing next time.
One of my best guy friends does it best when he waits till there's not so many people around, and breaks it to me in the nicest way possible, or if i happen to bring it up first. |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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