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Ki-ol Mi-ck-Co-rd
Posts:138
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| 11/16/2009 10:14 AM |
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Is she trying to find out if I like her, or is she trying to hook me up with her friend?
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"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few... or the one."
-- Spock, Star Trek 2: Wrath of Khan |
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Ki-ol Mi-ck-Co-rd
Posts:138
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| 11/16/2009 6:59 PM |
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| HELP!! |
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"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few... or the one."
-- Spock, Star Trek 2: Wrath of Khan |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 11/16/2009 7:02 PM |
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could be either one. But if you aren't ready for a commitment, then what is the point, either way? I read an article on Boundless.com where a young man was talking about his "serious, committed relationship" with his girlfriend. It was a fictional narrative, and the other character asked "What are you committed to?" The young man didn't really have a good answer; he didn't want to marry her, they had no plans for the future- they were simply "committed" but they had nothing they were "committed" to.
So think about why you even care, and evaluate if it's actually important or if it's just something convenient. It's really hard to be lonely sometimes, but if you're more focused on your friends and activities than on one girl, you'll have plenty of people to call on those long, lonely nights, and suddenly they won't seem so bad =] |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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Ki-ol Mi-ck-Co-rd
Posts:138
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| 11/16/2009 7:35 PM |
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No, I would be commited to her alright, she fits literally everything I want and need. I do have friends, talking to one of them now. I do think about her all the time, I pray for her, sometimes I pray she will think about me. Then, yesterday she tried to hook me up with her friend, she wouldn't tell me if her friend liked me, luckily we have a mutual friend who is 7 years older than us, she told him she text him the details, he said he tell me. HELP!
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"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few... or the one."
-- Spock, Star Trek 2: Wrath of Khan |
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Christina
Posts:90
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| 11/17/2009 10:56 AM |
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I am going to be completely honest here.
I have learned from experience that if you are constantly looking for a significant other, constantly wondering is this person them it will never happen. You have to learn to be ok by yourself. And to stop worrying about that other stuff. Only when you realize that God is the only person that can truly satisfy that inner yearning will you be ready for a relationship. The truth is you don't NEED to ever be in a relationship. Actually Paul says that is you can live without getting married, that is the better route. Because when you get married it takes part of your focus away from God.
Now I'm not saying don't get married. I'm saying you have to find that contentness with just you and God, before you think about adding someone else into the equation.
Just within the past few months have I even truly grasped this truth. It has been a long hard journey. But honestly I find myself with more guy friends now than before when I was worrying about looking for a boyfriend. And technically I wasn't actually looking. But you understand.
I hope this helps any. |
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Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will recieve the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12
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Ki-ol Mi-ck-Co-rd
Posts:138
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| 11/17/2009 11:55 AM |
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Posted By Christina on 11/17/2009 10:56 AM
I am going to be completely honest here.
I have learned from experience that if you are constantly looking for a significant other, constantly wondering is this person them it will never happen. You have to learn to be ok by yourself. And to stop worrying about that other stuff. Only when you realize that God is the only person that can truly satisfy that inner yearning will you be ready for a relationship. The truth is you don't NEED to ever be in a relationship. Actually Paul says that is you can live without getting married, that is the better route. Because when you get married it takes part of your focus away from God.
Now I'm not saying don't get married. I'm saying you have to find that contentness with just you and God, before you think about adding someone else into the equation.
Just within the past few months have I even truly grasped this truth. It has been a long hard journey. But honestly I find myself with more guy friends now than before when I was worrying about looking for a boyfriend. And technically I wasn't actually looking. But you understand.
I hope this helps any.
I get this - but as I just said in my other forum I have liked this girl for about two years - I know I don't NEED to be in a realsonship and that I'm setting myself up to fail. I also know that she is a faithful Christian, as am I. Nothing is more important than God, I know. But to be completly honest, THIS IS A DATING ADVICE SITE! Sorry, but this is not a bible study, this is a problem I have having.
Yes, I have prayed about it. I don't like her cause she is "HOTT" or whatever. I like her because she is always doing something kind when I turn around, but yet if someone in her school came on to her to strong, she is independent, very independent. She doesn't need me. And as hard as is to admit, I don't NEED her - Not now, anyway - Right now it is only a desire. I have my list of qualities I am looking for - She fits every quality, trust me.
So please for dear life, before tomorrow, can you guys help me figure out if she is testing me to see if I like her, or if she is really trying to set me up with he friend!?
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"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few... or the one."
-- Spock, Star Trek 2: Wrath of Khan |
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Christina
Posts:90
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| 11/17/2009 1:06 PM |
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| I should say that this is NOT a dating advise site. This is a site for people who have read the books to discuss them, and to give advice. It is not limited to just dating. |
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Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will recieve the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12
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Ki-ol Mi-ck-Co-rd
Posts:138
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| 11/17/2009 1:47 PM |
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That is the just. I suppose there are off-topic forums. ie: The soccer forum.
I think I should probably appoligize for blowing up. She wants me to have a desecion on her friend tommorow. The awnser changes very slightly depending on weather she is testing me or really trying to set me up. I feel like I'm on a deadline.
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"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few... or the one."
-- Spock, Star Trek 2: Wrath of Khan |
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Christina
Posts:90
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| 11/17/2009 1:55 PM |
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Thank you for apologizing! 
And I should say it sounds kinda weird that she has a "deadline" type thing on this.
But I would say honestly if you like your friend then I wouldnt even consider the set up. Test or not. It wouldn't show that you care about her if you do. Do you understand what I am trying to say?? |
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Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will recieve the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12
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Ki-ol Mi-ck-Co-rd
Posts:138
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| 11/17/2009 2:03 PM |
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I understand completly, I wasn't considering it. Thirdly I don't know her friend well enough. I'm just trying to figure this out. Perhaps, our mutual friend knows.
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"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few... or the one."
-- Spock, Star Trek 2: Wrath of Khan |
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Ki-ol Mi-ck-Co-rd
Posts:138
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| 11/17/2009 2:08 PM |
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Oh, and no problem  |
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"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few... or the one."
-- Spock, Star Trek 2: Wrath of Khan |
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Ki-ol Mi-ck-Co-rd
Posts:138
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| 11/18/2009 9:22 AM |
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Just to ask, which option seems more likely:
She likes me
or
She wants me to date her friend?
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"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few... or the one."
-- Spock, Star Trek 2: Wrath of Khan |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 11/18/2009 4:40 PM |
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you're asking for people online who have no idea who you or your friends are or how they act to tell you something we really have no idea about- just thought I would point that out.
I have to be honest, I'd never set up one of my friends with a guy I was actually interested in. If I cared at all not to lose him, then I would definitely not be pushing my friends ANYWHERE near him. |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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David
Posts:499
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| 11/18/2009 5:58 PM |
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^that
And dude, with all due respect, you need to chill. Like I often do, you're way over-thinking this. Just relax. You have time. And let's be honest, she might fit your list now, but both she and your list will most likely change in years to come. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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Ki-ol Mi-ck-Co-rd
Posts:138
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| 11/18/2009 10:43 PM |
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You don't get it, my list is not a list of things I want it. It isn't just that, it is her. Modeled after her anyhow. But, however that is irrelevant now, I have screwed up, and it is up to me to fix it now. Not you. I shall return if and when I fix this problem. I suppose you can ask, and I guess I'll awnser.
Kyle-"The last post"
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"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few... or the one."
-- Spock, Star Trek 2: Wrath of Khan |
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Samuel
Posts:8
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| 11/22/2009 4:33 PM |
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| Alright here is my opinion for what it is worth: -).I agree with David you need to chill.From what I have read in the your other posts it does sound like you care about this girl,but seriously your 14(I'm 15 so really any friendly advice i give to you should apply to me as well so I'm not looking down on your age,you sound very mature).Although this girl right now seems like the perfect one do you see yourself marrrying this girl?Or are you doing what Joshua Harris says and going shopping for what you cannot afford.In other words if you want to date this girl are you willing to pay in the cold hard cash of commitment?My advice don't worry to much about the situation,God is in control.If God wants you to get married then he already has someone picked out for you whether it is this girl or another,and He will reveil her when the time comes.You said you know you don't need to be in a relationship.The problems we face now,like dating, in eternity will look insignificant,"Only one life twill soon be past only what's done for Christ will last."I pray that you would consider this.Just remember THE RIGHT THING AT THE WRONG TIME IS THE WRONG THING.God Bless. |
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Christina
Posts:90
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| 11/23/2009 2:41 PM |
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I agree with David in the calming down. You are only 14 and have your whole life ahead of you.
And I agree with Adelynn - you are asking us what you should do wanting a yes or no, black and white answer. Without knowing her or you relationship ect. We can't give you that kind of ansswer.
Plain and sinple. |
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Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will recieve the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12
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Ki-ol Mi-ck-Co-rd
Posts:138
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| 11/28/2009 2:17 PM |
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Posted By Samuel on 11/22/2009 4:33 PM
Alright here is my opinion for what it is worth: -).I agree with David you need to chill.From what I have read in the your other posts it does sound like you care about this girl,but seriously your 14(I'm 15 so really any friendly advice i give to you should apply to me as well so I'm not looking down on your age,you sound very mature).Although this girl right now seems like the perfect one do you see yourself marrrying this girl?Or are you doing what Joshua Harris says and going shopping for what you cannot afford.In other words if you want to date this girl are you willing to pay in the cold hard cash of commitment?My advice don't worry to much about the situation,God is in control.If God wants you to get married then he already has someone picked out for you whether it is this girl or another,and He will reveil her when the time comes.You said you know you don't need to be in a relationship.The problems we face now,like dating, in eternity will look insignificant,"Only one life twill soon be past only what's done for Christ will last."I pray that you would consider this.Just remember THE RIGHT THING AT THE WRONG TIME IS THE WRONG THING.God Bless.
I am shopping for what I can't afford. I can also see myself married to her, though. Dating is insignifigant, but I have liked this girl longer than anyone you have ever liked, I guarantee it. |
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"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few... or the one."
-- Spock, Star Trek 2: Wrath of Khan |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 11/28/2009 8:02 PM |
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hmm, think of it more this way:
"Need-love says of a woman 'I cannot live without her'; Gift-love longs to give her happiness, comfort, protection- if possible, wealth;"
Which love do you think you have for this girl?
Need-love certainly has its place, even in a marriage- but can you give her the things she needs? Society says that love is enough, but emotional love really isn't enough to make a commitment last. If you truly love an care about her, you'll do whatever will be best for her, whether that means marriage or breaking up and never speaking to her again. |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 11/28/2009 8:03 PM |
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| quote, by the way, from C.S. Lewis' book The Four Loves |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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