| Author |
Messages |
|
Cerno4500
Posts:97
 |
| 12/12/2009 7:01 PM |
|
| Recently, I was hanging out with my two freinds. We were talking n stuff. But one of them told me about the girls in our school who are having "you know what" with so and so and etc. The people i thought i knew in school are actually not who i thought at all. and i go to a private catholic school too, i never expected this actually from some kids at school. to be honest, i'm kinda scared because i just started to get to know a girl in school and see that we so much in common with eachother( unlike any other girl i met before too). I mean i know a lot of girls who have , but a lof of girls have not. And my question is how can i tell if she has or has not. |
|
|
|
|
nateynate
Posts:316
|
| 12/12/2009 8:26 PM |
|
| Now dont take my word for it, but i dont think you can tell without asking the person directly, and that can be awkward. But if you truly like this girl, dont judge her based on her past mistakes. That should be Gods job and he doesnt even do that. So unless you know shes just sleeping around, dont assume and dont mark her by it. Cause all you know, is that if she did do it and you judge her, it could just have been a mistake that she regrets. And if that is so, she wont want you judging her cause that will also probably ruin your chances. But be careful either way and dont put yourself in situations where you will be tempted. |
|
" Wake up oh my soul
wake up and praise the Lord
rise up you sleepy soul
rise up and praise the Lord"
Enter Your Gates |
|
|
Adelynn
Posts:516
|
| 12/13/2009 7:53 PM |
|
Are you asking how can you tell if this girl has slept with another guy or not? Why does it matter?
I mean, it does matter. God designed sex to be between a man and a woman who have made a promise to be together for the rest of their lives, and I don't know know why He made it that way, but He did and He knows best!!
But... will you only date virgins or something? I mean it's a great ideal, it's great to wait in your own life, but I've learned that the future is more important than the past and that what hurting people (which is anyone who doesn't know Jesus, whether they will admit that or not) really need is for us to show them God's love and grace and mercy, and not judgement. You don't have to condone anyone sleeping around (definitely don't), but mercy for the person is important. |
|
"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
|
|
clare
Posts:932
|
| 12/15/2009 3:16 PM |
|
| Evem if she has slept with a guy, would you think of your self as better or more holy than her? Chances are, she regrets it from the bottom of ehr heart is she has. If she has failed, don't put her down we are all human. |
|
|
|
|
Adelynn
Posts:516
|
| 12/15/2009 8:18 PM |
|
here is an interesting article I just came across and thought of this topic:
http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0002188.cfm
|
|
"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
|
|
Cerno4500
Posts:97
|
| 12/16/2009 9:58 PM |
|
| you guys have no idea how much that helps. |
|
|
|
|
Nicole
Posts:547
|
| 12/18/2009 6:20 PM |
|
I agree with everyone else here. Just to reiterate: even if she has slept around with other guys, would you judge her on her past actions? I believe God has the only right to judge us, since He sees inside us, and doesn't focus on what is on the outside. And if she has asked for forgiveness from God, and is trying to turn around, then even God has forgotten it. And i'm trying to say this in the gentlest way possible- i dont' want to sound like i'm condemning anyone or anything. :/ Extending mercy to this girl, or anyone else for that matter, is what's really important, and can mean all the more difference to her.  |
|
whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
|
|
Adelynn
Posts:516
|
| 01/04/2010 11:49 AM |
|
| What do you all think virginity is so important? I've heard of people who break off relationships because they can't deal with the other person not being a virgin. Do you think that's fair or right? |
|
"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
|
|
Adelynn
Posts:516
|
| 01/04/2010 11:50 AM |
|
| oops, I meant Why? |
|
"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
|
|
Cerno4500
Posts:97
|
| 01/04/2010 3:22 PM |
|
| I guess becasue I have set a personal fantasy or an unrealistic vision of a person. I mean considering what the responses were from this fourm. I changed my mind about the whole thing. I learned its better to be forgiving and accept others mistakes when they regret it. |
|
|
|
|
Adelynn
Posts:516
|
| 01/04/2010 4:58 PM |
|
I don't mean to attack anyone about what they think about this. It's important, and I know that for some people it's been part of their whole life plan and it's really hard to break out of that mindset!
I'm just wondering why? Why is sexual virginity so important and not being a virgin is worse than having tons of emotional affairs with dating partners or crushes? |
|
"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
|
|
Liz
Posts:341
|
| 01/06/2010 1:33 PM |
|
Why do you all think virginity is so important?
Because you're saving yourself for your future spouse; having consideration for them-- and yourself in the process. I want to marry someone who waited for me!
|
|
A girl should be so lost in God that a guy has to go in Him in order to find her |
|
|
Nicole
Posts:547
|
| 01/09/2010 6:42 PM |
|
Why? Because, yes, I'm saving myself for my future spouse, wanting to give myself wholly to him. God created this physical intimacy to be shared between husband and wife exclusively.
Actually I think having emotional affairs with partners or crushes is just as bad as throwing away your virginity. You're filling your mind with fantasies that aren't pure in the sight of God. We are to fill our minds with things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable (Phil 4:8). What i think is that by entertaining those emotional affairs, you've already committed adultery in your mind. The Bible says it so much better than i do.  |
|
whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
|
|
emilyjanelle
Posts:510
|
| 01/14/2010 1:00 PM |
|
| Nicole, I totally agree! it's not that you're negating the immorality of a sexual/physical relationship, but emotional relationships can (and often are) just as harmful! |
|
You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
|
|
clare
Posts:932
|
| 01/16/2010 4:20 PM |
|
I agree with Nicole, and I see your point Adelynn. My friend (not quite bf yet) broke up with a girl because he couldn't handle that she wasn't a virgin and he asked if I was because if I wasn't it would never work for us. I asked if he was being just a little harsh on that. I guess in his case she lied to him, then when she did tell him she didn't see anything wrong with what she did and would talk about it alot and he wanted to forgive forget and move on.
I think physical purity is important because it's easier to give in then not to. And I don't think giving your heart away here and there is much better! I think for those who are no longer virgins, it doesn't mean you're worse. Duh. If you have the proper attitude about it is what matters. |
|
|
|
|
Adelynn
Posts:516
|
| 01/16/2010 5:08 PM |
|
I think that it does matter, I mean if God created something to be a certain way, like when He created sex to be between a married man and woman who are committed to stick through everything, well He must have had a reason! When we say that He was wrong, that we can have sex with the same gender and/or before we're married or many other things, we're saying that He messed up, but He shouldn't worry because we'll fix it and take it from here! Which is so wrong- He never messes up or makes a mistake!
|
|
"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
|
|
|