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Liz
Posts:341
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| 12/28/2009 7:28 PM |
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I guess this is for girls who don't date or have boyfriends: Do you ever feel inadequate if you havn't been asked out by a guy? I have never been asked on a date and even though I would say no, I still feel like I'm maybe not "good enough". Sure your family and friends say you're great, and you know God thinks you're wonderful, but it means more if a guy shows it. Am I making sense, or is this just totally out of line? |
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A girl should be so lost in God that a guy has to go in Him in order to find her |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 12/28/2009 9:19 PM |
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| I don't qualify to answer here but I am anyway. I've had guys come around and want to date or ask me to. And you know what? Even then those inadequate feelings don't go away! He may be everything you want, Godly and just what you dreamed of.. Only God can take away those feelings. No man can fill it. Though I understand completely what you're trying to say, I've dealt with it and deal with it still. I've learned that I have to leave that to God,and then when some day a man does come in your life, God will use him. |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 12/28/2009 9:19 PM |
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| I don't qualify to answer here but I am anyway. I've had guys come around and want to date or ask me to. And you know what? Even then those inadequate feelings don't go away! He may be everything you want, Godly and just what you dreamed of.. Only God can take away those feelings. No man can fill it. Though I understand completely what you're trying to say, I've dealt with it and deal with it still. I've learned that I have to leave that to God,and then when some day a man does come in your life, God will use him. |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 12/28/2009 9:20 PM |
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| oops hit that button too many times! |
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smileybookworm
Posts:48
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| 12/29/2009 11:27 AM |
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| i'm 15 and never been asked out. I don't feel inadequite because most of the guys at my school arn't what I want in a partner. I'm not planning on dating till after college though so that mindset helps. I know that I won't say yes if asked and I'm not trying to impress anyone (flirting etc) so i'm not too concerned. |
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Jesus has a thing for losers.
-Losers by Me in Motion |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 01/09/2010 7:01 PM |
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LOL Im 20 and yeah, I agree with clare... the feeling doesn't go away...
I have never had a bf, but I've had guys ask me out and hit on me and actually been quite grossed out.... lol. especially recently the dude was 14... I was like "I HAVE A BF SO GO AWAY!" even though I didn't  I guess you just have to get to a point where you feel comfortable with who you are in God and that He's all that matters |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Nicole
Posts:547
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| 01/09/2010 7:12 PM |
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Lol I'm 19 and I've never had a BF. Yes, sometimes those feelings of inadequacy overcome me- am i pretty? But i often have to remind myself that my self worth comes from God, and if i'm beautiful in God's sight, then that's all that matters. But it helps if i can be physically reminded from time to time. I think it's an affirmation that girls tend to look for in general. Anyway, yes, I agree with Jojo, you can come to a point in your life where you are comfortable with who you are in Christ, and that He's all that matters. 
And no, you don't sound out of line at all Liz  I will agree with you that a compliment from a guy has a totally different affect than it would coming from a girl. |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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AllieRay
Posts:82
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| 01/11/2010 12:47 PM |
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| I am so glad you posted this! I am really glad to know I am not the only one with those thoughts. Many times i have asked myself "Am i not pretty enough or is my personality wrong?" But i have comed to realize, by much prayer and thought, that i am just the way God made me, and if it is in His plan for me to date, and get married, or if he wants me to live single, thats up to him, and he will do it in his time. Right now i just need to focus on him, and what he wants me to do. I have only been asked out twice, one of which, was when i was ten and it was set up. Now, im not saying i have it all figured out, or i never have those thoughts anymore, because i do, all the time. I often dream about when i will date, get married and have kids. When the right guy comes around, God will set it all up for me. Ther are about two guys who like me, and it makes me feel so good! SO to answer your question, no you are not out of line at all, i think you are just being human! |
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Why do we go with the flow
Or take an easier road?
Why are we playin' it safe?
Love came to show us the way
Love is a chance we should take
I'm movin' out of the way
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Lost get found by Britt Nicole |
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Becky
Posts:13
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| 01/16/2010 11:23 PM |
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you make complete sence, even though i have been in a(very non-serious) relationship, i still get you. you feel like you're maybe not pretty enough, or for whatever you aren't "up to standards". my best friend is easily one of the most beautiful girls at my school and i constantly feel like i am in her shadow. like if we are walking in the hall, a guy who may like me is getting completely distracted by her, and it is very frustrating. i love her dearly and i dont get mad or anything, but it can be difficult. By the way, i think you are pretty, Liz, and im not just saying it to make you feel better, though, i hope it does make you feel better
Lots of love, Becky |
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"In the same way let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in Heaven"
Matthew 5:16 |
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Liz
Posts:341
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| 01/17/2010 7:07 PM |
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Oh thanks! that's so sweet!
I'm sure you are too, but I don't know. You should put an avatar up!
Actually, we are made in the Image of God, so........ It's just hard to remember it sometimes
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A girl should be so lost in God that a guy has to go in Him in order to find her |
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Bubbles
Posts:17
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| 01/30/2010 9:21 PM |
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| Not sure if this will help but I've never been asked out unless it was a dare but all the guys at school know where I stand with going out and how I think about guys in general so I guess they are respecting that. I don't know but possibly guys are too afraid to ask you out because they may be nervous about what you might say. And BTW, I think Becky hit the nail on the head... |
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Blessings,
Bubbles |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 02/01/2010 2:29 PM |
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| It's hard being the girl that people feel are in your shadow. I'm not like that beautiful, I can be pleasant and I can be moody! But I had a few friends (who were younger than I) and they always felt I was the perfect one, all the guys liked me and I was always the one to blaze the trail. One friend made me so mad because she always felt she was nothing compared to me and how i was going to start dating first and she never stood a chance. I'm sure some girls enjoy being in that position, but for me I wanted to fit in so bad! I didn't like being held up as miss perfect who got it all. Sure I enjoy having lots of guys as friends, but it's hard having your girl friends think they are in your shadow. |
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Nicole
Posts:547
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| 04/25/2010 3:08 AM |
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| You know I never really broke out socially until high school? I think I've kinda just set myself apart from the "popular crowd" but still fit in socially in my own way. My sister is the guy magnet. I'm not going to repeat what I said in my last post, but you know I think the more you seek your self worth in God, the more beautiful you feel anyway. |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 04/29/2010 9:03 PM |
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Actually I second Nicole.
I was actually not that great with friendships with guys in highschool. in fact in highschool i think I was pretty immature and insane, and I'm so glad I've grown up lol.
I've always made friends easily (well since the start of highschool) butI've only ben actually treating my friendships well, and got along with people properly (without being immature and thinking it was all about me, and sutff) since I've been out of school. i've learnt to treat guy friends like brothers in Christ, instead of possible boyfriends. at least until God reveals otherwise lol. |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Angeli
Posts:3
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| 05/05/2010 7:42 PM |
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I sometimes go through the same thing... In fact once some girls i hung out with told me that there must be somthing i doing wrong because nobody asked me out... But i learned: 1. not to hang out with them (cause they eventually asked someone out for me without my knowledge) 2. we are all differnt and to just say "i am me, you are you, we are different, get over it!" I hope that helps |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 05/11/2010 12:20 AM |
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yeah exactly! i agree with you angeli!
just cuz you havent been asked out, doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. It just means you're not looking for a brief romance just for the sake of it.
and just think, because you havent been around the bush, you dont have a list of ex's who might hate you. |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 05/11/2010 8:40 AM |
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you don't have a list of ex's so true!
Though I've thought about how I could completely forgive someone with "a past," it's never completely sunk in about what it would be like until recently, and I wonder... Did he say that to her? Did they do these activities, too? Was she better at them? Does he wish I were her? That last one is a killer. I'll have to be super careful to make sure my man knows how glad I am that he is who he is!! Not that I need a man, of course.
;-P
I know that God has my life all planned out, though, and maybe it would be better if some things hadn't happened, but it doesn't surprise Him when they do- He already knew what would happen. That has been something amazing to think about. |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 05/12/2010 3:32 PM |
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| Exactly Adleynn!!!! I've thought of that many times. One of the worst things you can do to a guy is talk about an ex alot...! LOL every girl needs a man of some sort or another. Even if it's just a brother I know if I ever date again I'll want him to know I like him for who he is and not compare him to any ex's. that can be hard at times! |
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Nicole
Posts:547
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| 06/07/2010 1:25 AM |
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| I second Jojo! It's true that just because you haven't been asked out, it doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you. Of course not! Some people though, are happy and fine being single. For now I am- but I hope God has different plans for the future The world is much more interesting with guys in it. |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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Miana
Posts:12
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| 06/07/2010 1:31 AM |
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YEP!!!! I'm feelin that now!!! All my girlfriends have boyfriends now, I'm the odd one out. Now I won't go and try to get a guy just to fit in. But I do wonder, why hasn't the "right" guy asked me? Yeah, I've gotten asked/hints from older guys(25-35) but I'm 19, guys that have mental issues...it's kind of depressing  Am I happy being single? Not really, I know God has big plans but I'm getting impatient. |
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