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artist_for_christ
Posts:89
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| 02/22/2010 4:53 PM |
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Ok, so a few weeks ago, I was at work (I'm a cashier at stop and shop) and this guy (late 20's) is standing across the isle from where i was ringing someone's stuff up. He's there for a few minutes and then gets on my line. I'm thinking he has a question like what isle is the beer in or something. When i finish with the person infront of him, this guys says that he had been watching me and thought I was sweet and cute and would like to go out for a cup of coffee sometime soon. I didn't know what to make of him so I said I don't know, but we started talking and eventually exchanged numbers. We still haven't gotten to have that coffee but he's been texting me and calling me angel and been really sweet to me. The thing I want to know from you guys is if you think he's legit or not based on what you would do. And btw, turns out he's 28, I turn 20 in a few weeks- if you do think he's legit, do you think the age difference is too big?
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~Lauren~
But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ
Philippians 3:7-8 |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 02/22/2010 8:35 PM |
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I know you're asking for guys opinions... but he's only barely met you, and he's calling you Angel??? I mean, what do you actually know about this guy?? Would you think it odd if your close guy friends called you that??? I think he's a smooth criminal type, from your description. Which could be a lot of fun- and it would probably end badly. After he makes you feel comfortable with him by listening and caring and being there for you, and he gets what he wants from you, or at least makes you feel bad for not giving in... he can just leave.
Or he could be legit. It's possible. I just don't know many guys who ask random girls out and text them all the time calling them angel, not guys that in a rational moment I would trust.
Only slightly on a side note, have you ever read Every Young Woman's Battle? It explains more how females tend to bond emotionally by communication, and many guys have learned how to use this to their advantage.... |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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Grant I.
Posts:184
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| 02/22/2010 8:36 PM |
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Hmmm interesting! What was your first impression of him? When he walked up to you, what kind of a guy do you think he was? If you're tight with your dad, have Mr. What'shisname talk to your dad and introduce himself. Trust me, dad's can see right through a guy if he's after his beautiful daughter. LOL
I will say this for him, he's got guts walking right up to you, a girl who(I assume) he's never met before, and asking her out. As far as the texting thing, do what you think is best, but I would advise you not to carry on much of any conversation over texting at all. You can say alot of things that you wouldn't say to that person face to face, there's no tone of voice or body language to go with it, etc. I would take things really slowly until you know him better. Him calling you angel and buttering you up in his texts and stuff already after meeting you like once(you didn't say if you'd seen him since...) makes me a little nervous just because it seems like he's trying to take it a li'l too fast. Overall, I'd say if he seems like a decent guy, and you are at all attracted to him, give him a chance and see where it goes, but maybe invite him to hang out with some of your friends and stuff like that until you're sure what kind of a dude he is. The age difference...if God wants you two together, it won't be a problem at all. Dad's 7 years older than mom, and it works. I'd say age is the last thing you should be worrying about. Let us know how it goes, and please be careful! Good luck! |
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Lucky Albatross
Posts:168
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| 02/22/2010 10:10 PM |
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| Something my mother always told me. "Never trust a smiling face. They usually want something from you." He seems like that smiling face. I honestly wouldn't trust this guy as far as I could throw him. Everything you described to me about him makes me uneasy. If you do go after him, I'd say Grant has a pretty good handle on how to see if he is worth your while. And be careful. |
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One step at time,
I trust these feet of mine,
To carry me on to where I belong.
Mike Zito |
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Grant I.
Posts:184
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| 02/23/2010 9:29 AM |
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| Lucky A., your mother's a smart woman! I'll have to remember that one. |
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artist_for_christ
Posts:89
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| 02/23/2010 3:00 PM |
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| I honestly had no idea what to think of him... he was really sweet when he came up to me at work and then a week ago when we had a huge snow storm, i was working and he came up to my register and we were talking. He left pretty quickly saying he had to take care of his groceries (i work at stop and shop). About a half hour later he texts me saying that he was sorry he left so suddenly but it was because "I couldn't stop staring at you... I felt so bashful; why else would I make such a sorry excuse and leave so soon... I was at a loss for words at one point." I honestly don't know what to think. Part of me thinks he's really sweet and kind but another part of me says to keep an eye open. |
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~Lauren~
But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ
Philippians 3:7-8 |
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Grant I.
Posts:184
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| 02/23/2010 4:25 PM |
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Interesting! Sounds like he's nervous too! LOL Is he a Christian? He does sound kinda sweet, but whatever you do, ALWAYS keep an eye open when dealing with guys you don't know.  I think I trust guys less than girls do! Haha! |
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artist_for_christ
Posts:89
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| 02/23/2010 6:28 PM |
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Hey said that he goes to catholic church but I don't know if he is or isn't a christian. So that's one thing that would prevent any relationship. I also told him that he would have to get Dad approved if anything more then friendship was to develop although I have a feeling that he thought I was joking  |
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~Lauren~
But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ
Philippians 3:7-8 |
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Grant I.
Posts:184
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| 02/23/2010 9:37 PM |
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| Way to go on the whole having to go through your dad to get to you. If your dad loves you, which i'm sure he does, that's the finest filter anyone can go through! LOL Almost sounds like he's interested in a "fling," but I dunno, he might surprise us all! Keep us posted. |
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nateynate
Posts:316
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| 02/23/2010 10:42 PM |
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| I would say have that coffee, cause your never gonna really know wat hes like until you hang out again, you cant tell alot by just texting somebody. But i agree with Grant about keeping that one eye open, guys can be decieving if they really try. About the calling you "angel" thing, it sounds like hes trying really hard to make you happy ha and that could be a good thing. But you never know until you take that chance. So good luck with whatever you do though |
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" Wake up oh my soul
wake up and praise the Lord
rise up you sleepy soul
rise up and praise the Lord"
Enter Your Gates |
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AllieRay
Posts:82
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| 02/24/2010 9:33 AM |
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| I just wanted to put in my two cents worth here, and say that I would be freaked OUT if a guy did that to me.. In these kind of situations you really have to use your own judgement.. Ya know, did he look weird.. stuff like that. Another great thing to do is what was your very first impression of him, like before he started talking to you and stuff. And i agree with Nate (it happens alot! lol) in that the "Angel" thing is him trying to make you happy.. and it could be a good thing, but it could also be a very bad thing. Oh andd one more thing, Awesome on the dad thing. My dad tells me all the time if I EVER need to use him as an excuse to get out of something like a date or whatever to Do it! and Im sure your dad feels the same way! |
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Why do we go with the flow
Or take an easier road?
Why are we playin' it safe?
Love came to show us the way
Love is a chance we should take
I'm movin' out of the way
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Lost get found by Britt Nicole |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 02/24/2010 2:34 PM |
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| I am very wary of this whole situation...but you never know there are weird ways of meeting people. the other day I texted my friend and her brother had the phone and I said something about how we should do something since he is new around here and he called me a sweetheart. I was like hu? But he is that kind of guy. sweet to everyone and full of nice words. I guess my point is don't read too much into his sweet words. He seems like he is hitting on you with only one intention. (maybe my recent bad experiences are making me to skeptical...) |
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Lucky Albatross
Posts:168
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| 02/27/2010 8:36 PM |
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Posted By clare on 02/24/2010 2:34 PM I guess my point is don't read too much into his sweet words. He seems like he is hitting on you with only one intention. div>
My thoughts exactly! Speaking as a guy, most of us don't necessarily think with the head on our shoulders, if you get me. Also, being sweet and charming doesn't necessary equate to being good.
Kudos on the dad thing, by the way! |
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One step at time,
I trust these feet of mine,
To carry me on to where I belong.
Mike Zito |
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Slayde
Posts:9
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| 02/28/2010 2:18 AM |
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| I can't exactly put my finger on it, but something feels very wrong about this. From a guy's perspective, I feel like he is trying to push things along too quickly. Of course, there's always the possibility that I'm wrong, too.
However, I have yet to see anyone mention what is truly the most important advice. Pray. Ask God to give you discernment. Pray about absolutely every aspect of your friend/relationship with this guy. Whatever happens, if it doesn't have a strong, Godly foundation, it will seriously backfire. Make it clear that, to get to you, he has to go through your father and your Father. |
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4 out of 3 people admit that they are bad with fractions. |
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**Jes :-)
Posts:154
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| 03/14/2010 2:21 PM |
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Posted By Grant I. on 02/23/2010 9:37 PM Way to go on the whole having to go through your dad to get to you. src="/DesktopModules/NTForums/themes/_default/emoticons/smile.gif" align=absMiddle border=0> If your dad loves you, which i'm sure he does, that's the finest filter anyone can go through! LOL Almost sounds like he's interested in a "fling," but I dunno, he might surprise us all! Keep us posted. src="/DesktopModules/NTForums/themes/_default/emoticons/smile.gif" align=absMiddle border=0>
in my opinion(it's maybe 2 cents worth) i think if any guy wants to ask me out, that's fine; but to prove yourself as a strong godly man ready to take up leadship, go ask my dad! i see that as a good way to start the relationship, between him and my dad, and i think it respects the dad. and if they can't ask dad well then you tried the wrong girl!! if i'm wrong fell free to correct me!
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Grant I.
Posts:184
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| 03/14/2010 4:19 PM |
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Nervous! A girl's protective dad is any guy's worst nightmare, at least if he doesn't know him. LOL I used to hate the idea of that policy of having to ask her dad first, and I know that many people don't do that anymore, but the older I get, the more I say it's a good idea. IMHO, if the guy has nothing to hide, and is a good Christian man, it shouldn't bother him. If you like him, and after he clears it with your dad, you're good to go, knowing that you have your father's consent, maybe even blessing! I think it would make alot of difference in how you said it to him too. If you said something like, "I'm flattered that you're asking me out, but I think it would be best if you asked my dad about it first," he may be a li'l shocked/surprised, but if he's serious about you, it shouldn't be a problem. If you say "Don't talk to me. Go talk to my dad," that could come across as just being snobby and shooing him away(which you might want to do, depending who it is. LOL). Don't say anything indicating you don't trust him(unless you actually don't). Make sure he knows that it's your commitment to honoring your father and his authority over you. Any decent guy will respect that. IMHO, until you're married you're your daddy's girl, and noone else's. If they want you, they can go talk to him, and if they get past him, your dad can talk to you and see if you are interested in pursuing a relationship, then he can relay your decision whether good or bad to him, and if you aren't interested, your dad can do your dirty work for you, and he should be honored to do it. I also think that if I asked a girl out and she wanted me to check with her dad first, it would show me that she honors and respects her father's wishes and opinions, and that she would, if we were to get married, respect me as well, and honor me, as "her man." If she doesn't care about what her dad thinks or what she does, she may very well not care about what I think, or what she does, even though she's "my girl." Not only is it respecting your dad, your dad's a great source of protection. He can see right through a guy if he's hiding something, or not genuine. If you're lost in love, you probably won't see it until it's too late.
I like your opinion. Don't change it. That's worth more than $.02, but I'm not gonna pay you anything for it! LOL Don't ever apologize for it either. If you believe it's the right way, then do it, and stand by it. Good luck! |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 03/14/2010 5:08 PM |
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| Okay, I've never told any guy to go to my dad first because that is almost too much pressure for me since that would start things off on a very serious note and I'm not into any guy that much!! Maybe they aren't, either, because whenever a guy asks me to hang out and I get this "ohmigosh" look, like don't even go there, they get all "It's okay, it's not a date, relax..." and then I feel stupid because I don't know if they were really asking me out and that now saying it's not an actual date is their way of getting me to go out with them without getting serious or scaring me, or if they really weren't asking me out. Sooo do you guys/gals think that any time a guy asks a girl to even just hang out (especially if you know that the guy wants more than just friends) he should be directed to Dad? |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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Grant I.
Posts:184
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| 03/14/2010 9:06 PM |
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What do you mean by "hang out?" Like just you and him, or inviting you with maybe a couple friends? If just you and him, and it's totally friends, or whatever, and nothing more, I don't think I'd make him go talk to your dad, but DO ask your dad if he's okay with you going out with this guy. If he's interested in pursuing any long-term relationship with you, I would make him have a li'l sit down with your dad. I think there's a place for "fun dates" every now and then, like "hey, wanna to to ___ concert with me, fireworks, rodeo, etc.?"(check with your dad) If it's just a one-evening thing, nothing more, cool, it was fun! If he's interested in anything more, or another date, I'd send him to papadaddy, and go from there!
As far as the first part...I don't think many guys are gonna ask a girl out one-on-one without having at least "some" romantic interest in her, with some exceptions of course. I'm pretty sure that most guys, if they get the OMG deer in the headlights look when they ask, they're gonna give you the "It's okay, it's not a date, relax..." line on the double before you turn around and run because you don't wanna go on a date! Also, keep in mind that for at least alot of us guys, asking a pretty girl, like yourself, out on a date takes a LOT of guts, and the last thing we want is for you to get freaked out and run away from us when we ask. Enter "It's okay, it's not a date, relax..." even if we really really really wanna date you, and maybe even marry you! LOL |
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**Jes :-)
Posts:154
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| 03/14/2010 9:25 PM |
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| -Adelynn, i suppose i'm more thinking of the dating perspective. no if it was just a thing doing it together, like going snowboarding or coffee or whatever the case might be; no i would not bother asking my dad. if i was younger and still living at home or for that matter in the same province, i might talk to him about it. but i feel i'm capable of making that decision. not that i don't ask for advice. |
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**Jes :-)
Posts:154
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| 03/14/2010 9:26 PM |
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That's worth more than $.02, but I'm not gonna pay you anything for it! LOL Don't ever apologize for it either. If you believe it's the right way, then do it, and stand by it. Good luck! ha ha!! i was hoping for a coffee if it was worth $0.02!! LOL!! no just joking!;-)
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