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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 03/14/2010 11:10 AM |
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I've been discussing with my mom whether guys and girls going out to lunch one-on-one is inappropriate or not if you don't know each other well and if you're not dating. What do you guys think?
Just want to point out that we are just discussing it; Mom thinks it's black and white and just don't do it unless you're definitely going to marry each other, while I think it's more of a case by case thing- there are guys I wouldn't hang out with like that, but others that I know wouldn't think of it as a date and then there are others that I wouldn't mind if they did because it wouldn't be a big deal.
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 03/14/2010 11:33 PM |
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Well since there are no mom's on here you're going to get your generation's opinions.
I think there is nothing wrong with going to lunch with someone is inappropriate! If he is coming to pick you up...well maybe that would really be like a date! I've met guys for lunch and so what. My parents don't really have a problem with it (surprisingly). My best guy friend is coming back from mission work next month and I fully intend on meeting him and doing a lot of talking
Now what your mom says..how do you know if that's the guy you're going to marry if you don't hang out? How do you know you want to date him if you aren't friends? How are you going to be friends if you never do anything! |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 03/15/2010 9:45 AM |
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haha she definitely thinks it's super important to be friends before deciding to court, she just thinks that people should hang out in groups and get to know each other that way, and then if they decide to take it to the next step then that is fine- though she would prefer there to be at least one other person around or be in public places. She has reasons for that perspective =] I see her point, and I agree that I would rather have tons of friends than a bunch of guys I've "tried out" but decided weren't worth it after lunch together.
So this morning I got a message, I'll give you the conversation from the beginning:
Sent on: Thursday, January 28
hey whats up its Dan how are you. whats up. I know this is kinda random.
Sent on: Wednesday, February 3
Hey, Dan, how is it going?
Sent on: Wednesday, February 3,
ok you?
Sent on: Friday, February 12,
I'm doing well =]
Sent on: March 15,
yo so I've been meaning to ask you if you want to hang out sometime?
I have less than zero interest in this guy, and it's so not my responsibility to try to be a witness to him beyond my everyday life and how I normally act in class. I've talked to him almost every class- there are only about ten people, and we're across from each other, so we are sometimes put into groups together. I was almost flattered when we were paired off for interviewing each other and the guy said as though he were disappointed, "oh" and then started up like he hadn't meant to do that when I was paired with someone else, but mostly I was startled and uncomfortable! Unless we have another class together in the future, Wednesday is the next and the last day I will see him. Do I have to reply? Do I have to say anything? Was it stupid to reply at all? |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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AllieRay
Posts:82
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| 03/15/2010 10:44 AM |
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Ok from my perspective, I dont think there is anything wrong with just hanging out, or having lunch or something, BUT you have got to make sure that he knows that there is nothing romantic between you right now. Another suggestion is maybe have a few friends, boys and girls, come to lunch with you. that way you can learn some more about him, without it beig awkward |
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Why do we go with the flow
Or take an easier road?
Why are we playin' it safe?
Love came to show us the way
Love is a chance we should take
I'm movin' out of the way
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Lost get found by Britt Nicole |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 03/15/2010 11:34 AM |
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I think that's a great way to get to know a guy, Allie!
The thing this time is that I don't really care to get to know this guy. He isn't someone I want to hang out with. I'm just wondering if I should scare him off by telling him to talk to my dad- though I'm certain he'd do the Relax it's not a Date routine, or ignore him, or just tell him I'm not interested... because he'll probably still d the relax thing =P |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 03/15/2010 2:29 PM |
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Your mom sounds like my mom, through and through. Never be alone with a guy. Be friends at least a year before you date, learn to know each other in group settings, ect. A few of those I agree with.
Naw It wasn't stupid to reply, you were very polite and not personal at all. It seems all the guys on here have said over and over that they don't get hints. So as much as all of us girls will advise you to drop this hint and that hint, maybe you should try it the guy way and say hey I'm not interested but if you want to hang out with a bunch of friends that's ok. To us girls that might sound harsh but maybe one of us should try it the way the guys have been advising!! |
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EmmaLeigh
Posts:9
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| 03/16/2010 4:39 PM |
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I was kinda thinking about that. Is it ok to just hang out with a guy you aren't really interested in? And I came up with my own answer:
If it's a random meeting at a coffee shop or fast food restaurant-- Totally OK!
If it's an occasional meet at a coffee shop or fast food restaurant-- Pretty OK, but not alot!
If you're meeting at a nice restuarant-- No. sounds too much like a date to me. =)
Simply my opinion =) |
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If you like to dance with tomatos
If a squash can make you smile
If you like waltz with potatos
Up and down the produce aisles
....Have we got a show for you!!
VEGGIE TALES!! |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 06/26/2010 8:38 AM |
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| So, guys (and girls =), how do you tell a guy you aren't interested in "hanging out"? You'd think I'd get the idea by now, but again I thought this guy and I were just friends until another guy told me that I must be oblivious to obvious interest. I told him I would like to hang out, because I really would, and we were going to set a time until the other guy told me how it is. I feel stuck, and so so guilty for leading this guy on. |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 06/26/2010 5:25 PM |
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| Come on Adelynn...you have to say it like it is! we both know that Don't you just hate it when you think things are all cool and someone comes to you and says "he likes you" and you're like what??no way!! I don't think you were leading him on, it's one thing if you know you are and meant to, it's another if you were innocently being friends and wanting to just be friends and he takes it farther! |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 06/29/2010 8:01 AM |
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| You're so right, I need to be honest about it- I'm just wondering how. If I say "just as friends?" he'll be all Yeah of course whether it's true or not, won't he? |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 07/14/2010 7:17 PM |
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| i think you should hang out with him... in a crowd environment, and make sure you've told him where you stand, that you're not looking for a relationship, and even if he says he wasn't, state that that's just you setting your limits and has nothing to do with him (in a nice way) and make sure you've stated that you'd love to be able to be friends... and then the ball is in his court as to if he calls it off, or is happy with that. |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 11/22/2010 8:56 AM |
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| My girl friend and I are talking about when "Do you want to go out for coffee sometime?" is a date verses just friends hanging out. What do you think? |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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Nicole
Posts:547
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| 11/22/2010 12:21 PM |
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Yes, I think girls should be careful as far as hanging out with guys she doesn't know too well. I think I had to learn that a little bit the harder way. If you don't know a guy too well and he asks to hang out and go grab a snack or coffee, or the like, then you might want to counter and make sure you bring a girl friend or say no. Get to know him a bit more, or if a really good guy friend asks to hang out, then I think it's okay. I have nothing against hanging out with guys one on one and I would absolutely be happy to grab coffee with my best guy friend- though I guess it helps to know that he is not interested in any way  BTW, I have to agree with Jojo again ^_^ she hits the nail again. |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 12/11/2010 10:12 AM |
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| What are some good topics when you're first getting to know a guy in a dating relationship? What are thing I can do and say to encourage this guy to be everything God will have him be? How do I keep things open, honest, and real, and get to know him? (He is really great about being open, but neither of us just talk about ourselves and how we feel about something) |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 12/25/2010 12:42 AM |
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ok just going out for coffee might not be a date. unless he doesn't really know you and it'd be weird for said person to ask to go as friends, if you aren't friends
idk, anything really. what are his likes, dislikes, favorite sports etc... talk about the latest movie you saw (if it's not a dodgy one lol) etc |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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