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luke
Posts:56
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| 04/06/2010 6:58 PM |
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| Ok, so I have this friend, that I like. We have alot in common. She has a boyfriend, but she talks like she is really hurting in the relationship. To my understanding, he is not christian. Me and my friend txt eachother alot and we hang out whenever I go to my Mom's house(I live with my Grandparents). She like's me also. And now I am thinking that I don't want to come in between her and her boyfriend, but she isn't happy. She thinks she can Change him. I'm wanting to cool it down between us for a while. Gosh, can anybody help me please!?!? |
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Luke 6:48, (THE MESSAGE) "If you work the words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who dug deep and laid the foundation of his house on bedrock. When the river burst its banks and crashed against the house, nothing could shake it; it was built to last.
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luke
Posts:56
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| 04/06/2010 7:15 PM |
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| And i guess my big question is, should I cool it down between us, or what? She say's everything is alright, but I'm lookin at it this way, We txt and hang out alot, and we both Like eachother, soon or later we will want to date, but I don't want that to happen while she is still with her boyfriend. I don't want to fell like I'm the reason a girl broke up with her boyfriend. Besides, It's against the guy's code of honor, lol jk |
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Luke 6:48, (THE MESSAGE) "If you work the words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who dug deep and laid the foundation of his house on bedrock. When the river burst its banks and crashed against the house, nothing could shake it; it was built to last.
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nateynate
Posts:316
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| 04/07/2010 3:11 PM |
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| Sounds like your in a tough one dude. Ive been there before and there is no easy way out. If you back off a little she might think you dont like her anymore and wat you could have had will be lost. But if you stay how your going with talking alot and hanging out and they do break up, you risk having the ex be mad at you. So honestly, its a bit of a toss up, do you care if the ex gets mad at you? cause if you dont then i wouldnt back off. But if you do care, honestly you might want to check how much you actually care for this girl. Whether your willing to give up something special just for the sake of not having some guy mad at you. But either way you take it, good luck. |
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" Wake up oh my soul
wake up and praise the Lord
rise up you sleepy soul
rise up and praise the Lord"
Enter Your Gates |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 04/07/2010 4:16 PM |
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I think she might be using you a little. Wow that sounds really harsh, but here is why: she isn't getting the attention or love from her boyfriend that she craves (not only can no human fill our hearts completely, but also someone who doesn't know Christ can't love completely ["...Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know love, for God is Love." 1 John 4.7-8]).
Think about it- you are giving her attention, you text and hang out and it's obvious you care about her on a deeper level than just "hey you're alive, great." So she might not be using you in a bad way, but I'm not sure it's healthy for either of you- her because she needs to figure out how to get past the fact that she won't change her boyfriend, and you because you will always be the one she walks away from knowing that you will still be there when her bf hurts her- won't you resent that? |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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rachel
Posts:35
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| 04/07/2010 5:42 PM |
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this kind of stinks. umm well if you're really good friends with her and you think she likes you and you really like her then i'd suggest talking to her about it. just explain what you're thinking because if you just start backing off then she'll be like "what did i do?" and you will lose some ground whether you wanted to or not. if you want a relationship to last, it will have to be built on honesty. hopefully it won't be that awkward. good luck!
rachel |
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"The difference between involvement and commitment is like a eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved-the pig was committed." |
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BabyGurl
Posts:15
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| 04/08/2010 12:40 PM |
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| JUst give it time.. They always say for those who take time and wait they will be happy in the long run.. You will get the best thing ever!! Good Luck though.. JUST GIVE IT TIME!! |
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!~*It's Almost Over*~! |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 04/29/2010 9:53 PM |
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I was in this exact position about 18 months ago.
he ended up dumping his gf because God told him it was time, and she actually felt the same.
but you really dont wanna be the reason they break up. so i'd say, still be friends (meaning be polite and friendly) but limit chats and dont have emotional talks, as this stuff should only be shared with a person you're wanting to marry, and girls take emotional sharings as a sign that you have a relationship.(learnt that the hard way)
if she asks whats up, just say, you dont feel comfortable talking about this stuff to someone you're not planning on seriously dating, especially since she's taken, and it's like betrayal. but tell her that you hope she can sort stuff out with her bf, so that there's no friction. because at this point, she is taken and it's more important for her to be loyal to her bf, than to be trying to get a new one behind his back, no matter if you 2 like each other. I mean would you like your wife trying to find a new husband behind your back, or even at all? (maybe use that example to her using husband instead of wife  )
idk it's tricky... Pray about it... |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
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God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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