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Christina
Posts:90
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| 04/14/2010 4:46 PM |
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Ok I am at a loss of what to think...
My ex and I, it ended... wierdly. He thought I broke up with him... I thought we were just still on our break. He got another girlfriend. Ect. But in the cconversation we had getting all of that figured out, I asked him "what now?" And his reply was "Friendship" I flat out told him, I didnt want to lose his friendship, but right now I couldnt be his friend I was too hurt angry and just upset by what happened.
Slowly I got over it. I am ok now... (was a long process that had me in the hospital at one point because of sheer stress) And I told him that. I told him I wasnt mad anymore, that I had forgiven him, that I did want to be friends... But the ball was in his court, I couldn't put myself out there like that for him. I told him that I did consider him a best friend, so that when everything went down it felt like I lost not only my boyfriend but a best friend. His only reply to that was ok.
That was almost a month ago...
And nothing has happened really. We have one class together, see each other every weekday. And he hasnt intiated any kind of friendship or anything. But he, without me knowing what he did, helped me with another guy situation I was dealing with. I didnt ask him to, my cousin who he is friends with did.
So really what I am asking is, why did he say he wanted to be friends if he isnt going to act like it. Was he just telling me this because he thought it was what I wanted to hear, or what?
IDK maybe this is one of those unanswerable questions. |
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Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will recieve the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12
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Liz
Posts:341
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| 04/14/2010 6:05 PM |
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Well, actions speak louder than words. Maybe (this is a very uneducated guess  ) he wants to be your friend still, but doesn't know how to put it??
Maybe. |
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A girl should be so lost in God that a guy has to go in Him in order to find her |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 04/16/2010 7:54 AM |
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| you told him you aren't ready to be friends. He isn't a mind reader, he doesn't just know that you want to be friends again. He has no reason to put himself out there, either, and try to "win" your friendship back. |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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Christina
Posts:90
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| 04/16/2010 12:36 PM |
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That's just it. I told him that I wasn't ready to be friends that night... But I talked to him about a week later, and said I wasn't mad, and i did want to be friends, but that the balls in his court...
I guess what I am confused about, is there are somedays he'll talk to me, like everything is almost normal. And other days where he won't even acknoledge my exsistance |
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Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will recieve the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 04/16/2010 1:23 PM |
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ohh I missed that you talked to him again.
Sometimes we think it'll be easier to be friends with someone after something has changed than it actually is. Maybe it's hard for him. Maybe he thinks that it's hard for you. |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 04/17/2010 6:37 PM |
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oh man you sound like me!!! I was soo sick from the stress of breaking up with my one ex.
Really, I don't know if there is any answer for our situations! I go from missing him to hating him! He goes from missing me...to being nasty mean to me. He is dating right now and I'm cool with that, I know it's another fling, I was his only steady gf. If he wants to be my friend it's up to him...but every time he talks to me things get pretty mean!
Sorry i don't have much help here |
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Christina
Posts:90
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| 04/17/2010 8:04 PM |
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That is EXACTLY how I feel!!! At least I know this is semi normal! 
That's enough help in itself.
The situation stressed me out so much that I would up in the Emegency Room from stress, The whole right side of my body swelled up... From one lymphnode...
Whe he does talk to me, he is nice. But the majority of the time he just ignores me. But I am at a better place and letting it roll off. I do constantly pray about him. Which i think is helping.
Last night I was looking back through my prayer journal, and i realized I had more times where I was upset over him and the situation, before and during dating, than I had happy.
SO i guess that is an example right there.
And looking back I know he wasn't the best boyfriend. I see that now. It just frustrates me that it took me going through this to realize that... |
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Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will recieve the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12
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clare
Posts:932
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| 04/17/2010 8:53 PM |
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I got shingles and lost a LOT of weight and still can't gain it back and I was reading my journal too (at least the pages I didn't take out and burn!) and well we had our happy times...certainly more than my and my most recent ex ever had...but I lived in a constant state of upset and more upset...and it took almost being engaged then going out of the country to realize that!
and its frustrating to remember that...and know he isn't the best...and miss him anyway!!! |
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