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SO1
Posts:113
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| 04/22/2010 2:11 PM |
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| so recently i had a girlfriend and things went horrible, it was about to be six months and all of the sudden she told me she doesnt feel the same way anymore and she ended it. i was upset but i still wanted to be friends, so i'd try talking to her but she just completely ignored me everytime i ried talking to her (an example, i walked into my youth group room, and she will either leave the building or get as far away from me as possible) and she even sent an e-mail saying she wanted to be friends, then later on i asked her if she even wanted to be friends cause she's showing no effort, and she told me she has to think about it but me and her can never be friends like we use to be. so i didnt understand that part, after talking to alot of friends i decided to telll her i did not want to be friends anymore if she was going to treat me like i dont exist. so she didnt respond to that at all and left. After that happened she started putting unneeded songs on facebook, and knowing her i knew she was putting them up to get back at me. So i sent her an e-mail asking her not to do that cause i know why she was. she sent me an e-mail replying that i need to quit being so self-centered and leave her alone, she said she wants me out've her life forever and wants me to not even look at her when i go to youthgroup. I also talked to her older sister and said that i dont understand why your sister is acting like this, she asked what i meant by that and i replied she's acting really immature (and i have alot of people agreeing with me on that even my youth pastor). Immediatly she got pissed at me and told me her sister is being mature and i'm the immature one. This has been tearing me apart because i have no idea why this is all happening at the first place, i made an effort to be friends and then i get persecuted? none of this makes sense to me): if you have any thoughts anything would be very helpful right now, thank you and God bless |
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Dream big dreams and trust the Planner of the universe to bring you your big love!! |
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Alura
Posts:3
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| 04/22/2010 5:40 PM |
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| I would suggest to just be as nice to her as possible without annoying her any more than she already is, and not persue the matter for a while. Then, after a few weeks of holding doors for her and nice things like that, you could try talking to her again.
I know that I'm not an expert at this (never had a boyfriend before or anything), but if I had just been really mad at someone and they started doing random acts of kindness, it would definitely soften me. However, you want to be careful not to come off as desperate to her.
Hope that helps! |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 04/23/2010 11:51 PM |
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| having dated before and gone through some mean stuff....I would advise..just quit! Obviously there is a reason she is so mad and her sister knows it and is mad at you too. I have no idea what it is. You have tried your best and I'd say still continue to treat her kindly and respectfully, you did right asking her to stop posting those songs, but if she wants to be ignored...maybe you should just try that! I know it will be hard. And i seems she is ignoring you in anger, you will be doing it in respect..and I can't say for sure, but once you start really ignoring her...that might bring her around pretty quick and maybe you can have a reasonable conversation. Girls hate being ignored. Best wishes!!! |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 04/29/2010 9:21 PM |
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Oh gosh, us girls are so.... confusing, even to us girls.
I know I was ignoring my one guy friend (we're like best friends) because his gf is REALLY OTT, like super possessive, and hates him talking to any girls, so to humor her, i tried not to step on her toes when she was around and not talk to him, but i think he started thinking that he'd done something wrong and thought I just loathed him. we've only recently started getting our friendship back to what it was b4 (that incident happened about 6 months ago) and I realised, I had to get over trying to please his gf, she can deal with her own problems, because this guy is amazing and I dont wanna lose his friendship, so I'm not gonna sabbotage my friendship with him, just so she's happy.
so sometimes us girls act like that, but not because of you...
in your case... i agree with you, shes acting super immature... how old is she?
ok i guess she could have meant that you cant be as great friends as you were before, because she probably can't handle having feelings maybe develope again, or you getting feelings for her again. I understand that, cuz with one of my guy friends, that happened. so now I just dont let our friendship become more than just being normal friends. i dont talk to him about emotional stuff etc, cuz that can make feelings develope 
but she could have gone about it a different way...
maybe instead of cancelling the friendship, you shoulda asked why she was avoiding you, and if she didn't answer, then have said that you'd like to have a friendship break until both of you know what exactly you want in this friendship??
idk, maybe just apologise to the sister and her for seeming so harsh (meaning not wanting to be friends) but say that for your own sanity, you need to exclude yourself from the friendship so your head isn't being messed with?? IDK, any other thoughts? (dont act on this one unless some others reply about this idea... cuz IDK if it's wise or not...)
idk maybe just leave her be for a while and let her get over herself and her feelings, and idk, just be there if she needs a friend, but dont let yourself get walked all over either. Maybe she'll realise she is being immature, but that's something she has to find out by herself, and i donno if it's something you can do anything about...
sorry this sounds so confusing |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
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God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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