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if uturnchic
Posts:71
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| 05/22/2010 7:57 PM |
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Hello again everyone!
Ok here is my problem. There is this guy in my youth group, lets just say his name is Tristan. Tristan is just a few months older than I am. We have known each other since we were like 6. He is one of the more popular guys in our youth group. Over the past year, he has been hitting on some girls there, and most recently, he has been hitting on me.
He says things like : "Hey, if we're gonna be boyfriend and girlfriend, then I need to know where you're going." when I leave the building. We were at a cafe in our town, and i was sitting with my friends at one table, and he came and sat down with us. All of the sudden he said: "Why don't i bite off one end of this churro, and you bite off the other, and we can share a romantic moment!"I always asked him to stop, but he wouldn't, and he made me uncomfortable. Finally, i just had to ignore him and walk away.
I talked to my parents about it, and they talked to my youth pastor. He said he would talk to Tristan.
Just this past wednesday, Tristan came into youth really sad, and with red eyes. I found out later, from one of my friends, that his parents might get a divorce. I felt really bad for him. He might have to move in with his dad in another state, if his parents do get divorced.
He talked to me a little bit, but said he was ok.
. I don't think my youth pastor has talked to him about the hitting on girls. When he does, I just want Tristan to stop hitting on me, but I still want to be just friends.
How do I let Tristan know that I care about what he is going through, and that I am praying for him, without it seeming like I am interested in him?
I know this is all really complicated, and I'm sorry for that. |
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We are His portion, and He is our prize; drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes. If His grace is an ocean we're all sinking. Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss, and my heart it turns violently inside of my chest. I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us.
-David Crowder Band |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 05/22/2010 9:36 PM |
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I'm so proud of you for not accepting him hitting on you!! As I read this post I expected it to be about "this cute guy at yg who is awesome" (not because of you but because many posts on this site are) and I'm so glad it's not. I think you're being very responsible about this, going to your parents and everything.
As to how to be there for him without him falling for you- I urge caution =] When guys and gals get together and share deep and/or emotional, personal things, emotions get high and the connection that is created can be strong, but sometimes unhealthy ("Do not awaken love until it is ready" like it says in Song of Songs). Maybe you need to be there as a friend without being there the same way as you would for a girlfriend. Everyone needs someone to support them emotionally, but that doesn't have to be you. Just be his friend. He doesn't have to share his secrets with you. Trust me, if things get complicated but then you either break up, break it off, or walk away, that will only be another relationship that hurt him, which is something he definitely doesn't need. What he needs is a friend who he can trust to not lead him on and he can relax and have a fun time with. |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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if uturnchic
Posts:71
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| 05/22/2010 10:41 PM |
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Thank you adelynn. I am being very cautious in the way I support him. I am being very careful to not try to do anything that would give him any ideas. I do not intend and will keep the relationship on a friend level. I do not want him to tell me all his secrets, I just want him to know that I am praying, and do not hate him for all the hitting on me.
Thank you so much! |
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We are His portion, and He is our prize; drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes. If His grace is an ocean we're all sinking. Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss, and my heart it turns violently inside of my chest. I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us.
-David Crowder Band |
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if uturnchic
Posts:71
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| 05/31/2010 5:38 PM |
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| Yes, he is moving away. |
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We are His portion, and He is our prize; drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes. If His grace is an ocean we're all sinking. Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss, and my heart it turns violently inside of my chest. I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us.
-David Crowder Band |
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