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prettygirl
Posts:46
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| 06/08/2008 6:38 PM |
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| my friend and i read fywo and we decided to make some alterations to our wardrobes. the problem is, i'm not sure how far is far enough. i pretty much only wear jeans now (i can't find any modest shorts) and i have one pair of shorts that are my brother's old basketball shorts. i have been wondering what shorts are okay. how long do you think they have to be? and i also didn't know what about shirts? are tank tops okay? what about spaghetti straps? im kinda confused as to what i should do and what might be too far to go in redefining my clothes. maybe you could give me some input too,wjr1991, but im also looking for what girls have done to make their outfits more modest. |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 06/10/2008 4:11 AM |
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Well, Im a Christian and I've been one for like approx 15 years... Um, well Im not even sure if what I wear is 100%modest, but like, i wear jeans/pants, so thats all good... I wear 3/4 shorts, and like shortshorts to the beach (i dont go swimming in my bikini bottoms without shortshorts...) I try to be as non-revealing as possible, but like I wear spagetti strap tops, but i usually have a hoodie or jacket over them. tank tops... Im a dancer, so like when in training, I wear them, but not to just go down town... if I have a top with a low neckline, i wear a nice singlet under it, It's still stylish, and non revealing!  If you have midrif tops, wearing a singlet underneath also looks pretty stylish, and its one of the "IN" looks now. well, it is here in New Zealand, so yeah... basically with tops, singlets and cute jackets can cover you up and still be really cute! If you want to wear shortshorts, try wearing tights under them, (btw, im not meaning micro shortshorts, id probably stay away from those...) I hope that helps... |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Hope139
Posts:23
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| 06/11/2008 4:24 PM |
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Yeah, it can be hard to be modest sometimes It used to not be a problem for me because I just wore t-shirts, but as I'm growing up, I really enjoy looking nice. Definitely long tank tops come in handy. You shouldn't be able to see back(or anything else!) showing if you bend over or stretch your arms up. Shorts are really hard to find, the shorts I wear are all guys board shorts that I've taken the linings out of. I love wearing capris though, they're a lot cooler than jeans, but really modest. I wear tank tops, and I don't usually try to hide my bra straps, but from what I hear, they can be a distraction. One of my friends ties her bra straps together with string so they don't slip out from under her tank top. Mostly, make sure your shirts overlap the waist of your pants, that your necklines aren't too wide or too low, and that not too much of your legs are showing(sorry, I'm not sure how short is too short, but your shorts should definitely reach past your fingertips when you hands are at your sides). |
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May the Lord bless and keep you, may His face shine upon you, and be gracious and give you peace. |
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wjr1991
Posts:232
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| 06/13/2008 10:03 PM |
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prettygirl, unfortunately I haven't read FYWO, so I wouldn't know what they said about us... actually, I skimmed the Table of Contents, and saw the title "Keeper of the Photo Files" which I presume would be what contained whatever changed your mind... (if you think it's a good idea, I could borrow a copy and read that chapter, I guess...) If you want a fairly conservative idea of what's "ok" there's always The Rebelution's Modesty Survey... http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/ it's definitely a little on the conservative side in my opinion, but yeah... it's a pretty good summary. The guys at The Rebelution did link to one site that was a quite modest, but really really cool (in my opinion) teen gal's clothing company... http://www.christa-taylor.com/
For my own $0.02, I think, for me, shorts don't really mess me up until the legs get under about 6 inches on the shorts, and I think that's probably pretty safe, I might be over estimating. Personally, I have no real problems with either Tank or Spaghetti-strap tops, provided they're not really low-cut. Unfortunately, there's no private message system in this, but yeah, if you have any specific questions, I guess I could answer them...
So, I'm currently in TX, which is a time zone back from my home- so I'm a little off my body clock, and I have a busy week ahead of me... that means I can't get back to Jojo and Hope139 tonight, but hopefully later on. |
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Most of the nearly two billion children in the developing world have inadequate access to dinosaurs. Some receive no paleontology training at all. One in three has never even seen a dinosaur in person.
OVPC is an organization providing a means to an end - an end that sees children in even the most remote regions of the globe being given the motivation and adrenaline to tap into their own potential, identify with the survival needs of a global dinosaur-driven culture, and to contribute to a paleontological world community.
Support the cause at velociraptorz.org |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 06/14/2008 7:23 AM |
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I think maybe it would be a good idea to read it, just so you know whats going on, like I'll probably end up reading my brothers copy of FYMO so yeah, I definitely think its o.k. It would also help you see some things right from a girls point of veiw. like I read parts of my brothers book "a guy's guide to growing up" and I did kinda get a glimpse at what they were thinking...
so yeah... |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Julie Fidler
Posts:172
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| 06/14/2008 11:48 AM |
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| Do you think it's about skin showing in general, or is it about the "parts" showing - you know, being able to see a lot of cleavage, and or the top of some girl's thong above her shorts? If everything is covered but the clothes are really tight, do you think that presents a problem? |
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Forum Moderator
Project Specialist for Shaunti Feldhahn |
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prettygirl
Posts:46
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| 06/16/2008 1:05 PM |
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wjr1991- i didn't have anything specific that i really needed to ask you, just your general opinion on what you think is okay.
julie fidler- i think it's about both, like, you can show too much with super short shorts and not have any 'parts' showing. but you can be completely covered and still be really immodest by having it too tight. that's definitely a problem. |
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ashley*rose
Posts:1
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| 06/18/2008 1:14 AM |
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I agree with JoJo...it's nice to get the balanced side on 'what guys think of girls' and 'what girls think of guys'. It helps you get an idea on what to avoid or promote. On this topic, personally, I think it depends on the idividual girl and what they feel God is leading them to wear. Clothes can be tricky. Girls come in different shapes and sizes. Some can wear a top and look rather immodest or '****ty' while others can wear it and look 'cute' and more modest. I went on a missions trip to NY a year ago. The leaders told us girls, "Bend down and touch your toes, if anything shows, it goes." Making sure that skin in innapropriate places doesn't show is important. But also, very tight clothes are revealing, just in a different way. These two are the big ones that girls can watch out for, but there are other more 'subtle' things as well. If you wear a short skirt with leggings underneath, even with the extra covering, it can still be a temptation to a guy. So just be careful and pray about what to keep in your closet and what to pitch out the window..
Trust me, even if you don't, God knows :]
~Ashley <3 |
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emilyjanelle
Posts:510
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| 06/20/2008 12:56 PM |
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julie, you are SO right! you can definitely be immodest by having skin tight [or just even a little too tight] clothes on, even if you're not showing any cleavage, legs, etc. fywo says that guys are visual, and i believe that whole heartedly! if i try on a shirt at the mall and it looks like i'm wearing my 14 year old sister's clothes, there's no way i'm buying it.
okay, an AWESOME rule of thumb for how low a shirt can be is this, ladies. place the palm of your hand flat on your chest and put your thumb right on your collar bone, y'know right where there's that kind of dip, where the bones are together or something. i might be confusing you, but i read it in a book once and boy has it helped me! so anyway, if the neckline of your shirt goes below the palm of your hand, you need a new shirt, hun!
the bending down rule is great, too. if you bend over and your shirt rides up to show your midriff or droops down to reveal your chest, that has to go, too. or just get an undershirt, simple as that! i certaintly don't have what this world calls a 'perfect body' but that doesn't mean i can't look attractive!
with shorts, go bermuda! i love those. when i wear shorts they tend to ride up on me, so i have to go longer or they can look idiotic. but capris and bermudas are great! anything past the tips of your fingers is a great rule. and for skirts, if you can bend COMPLETELY, and i mean completely!, over without showing a thing, that's fine. i absolutely detest seeing these tiny miniskirts that barely cover girls booties. personally, it makes me want to hurl!
if any of your christian friends sees something you're wearing and says 'ooh, well i don't know about that...' don't get defensive, please! there's been a few times i've immediately clammed up and thrown their opinions out the window. but if you have older [not necessarily in the physical sense, i mean in spiritually] christian friends you can go to, ask them! sometimes we need that smack upside the head, like, DUH. of course i shouldn't be doing/saying/wearing that. i know i need that almost every single day of my life, haha.
i hope this helps! you're all beautifully constructed women of God, no matter what this world says!
:] <3 |
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You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
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wjr1991
Posts:232
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| 06/25/2008 3:28 PM |
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Ok... let me take a whack...
I think it's really not skin or "parts" showing, it's mostly the attitude behind it. You see, sure there's such a thing as too little, and too tight, clothing, however that's all reflective of the attitude behind it. Really, I know one girl who's quite shapely, and wears stuff that borders on revealing, however it's really not a temptation for me, because she's not trying to show off her body, or get boys (well, not particularly... which is why it borders, I think). Anyway, the thing is that a girl with a "modest" attitude will consequently almost always wear modest clothing. (if you think about it, modest in the sense of appearance means "non-ostentatious"... The point was that women shouldn't be showing off their wealth, or their bodies. It didn't say anything about how women were not supposed to look good or attractive, but that they weren't supposed to be showing off.)
So yeah, that's I see the focus of "modest" clothing- not to be ostentatious, and not to be showing your body off. However, I do also understand that there's a second issue of being a stumbling block... I personally think that if a girl's not showing her body off, it's really the guy's problem... a guy who can stumble over a girl who's not showing her body off is in my opinion rather perverted, in which case modest clothing isn't going to help... however, like I said, if you want to know what typifies clothing that modest girls wear, the Modesty Survey and Christa Taylor are great places to look... however, I must note that girls who have a immodest attitude aren't going to really change by wearing "modest" clothing...
So yeah, there are a ton of good rules and such... I'd honestly say the best place to go is probably brothers- you can tell by our response whether we really think it is, or we think it shows you off to a good advantage... and if you do want specific answers, I can give them...
And, in keeping with my style... the turned question: what in guys causes girls to stumble, and hence, what is modest/immodest for us? (or are girls perfect angels who have no problem with lust, as we sometimes imagine?) |
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Most of the nearly two billion children in the developing world have inadequate access to dinosaurs. Some receive no paleontology training at all. One in three has never even seen a dinosaur in person.
OVPC is an organization providing a means to an end - an end that sees children in even the most remote regions of the globe being given the motivation and adrenaline to tap into their own potential, identify with the survival needs of a global dinosaur-driven culture, and to contribute to a paleontological world community.
Support the cause at velociraptorz.org |
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emilyjanelle
Posts:510
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| 06/26/2008 11:50 PM |
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haha, no wjr! we're not perfect, in any sense of the word! i'd say a stumbling block would be, hmm...wearing just undershirts, or NO shirt. i mean, c'mon now! that's a little over the top. yes, you're a manly man and you want to be all tough but gee whiz. do you want us to go around half naked, too? NO! :p let's see, um. boxers hanging out of the pants! now, that's just plain ANNOYING and disrespectful, okay? and, this may be a no brainer but, crude tshirts. like playboy, beer paraphanalia [spelling?], etc. that's just stupid and ALSO annoying to see! it shows that you could care less about what you wear and who sees it. and then you expect US to care what we look like? hmm.
sorry if i seem a bit excited about this, but it just irks me because i see it all the time, haha. i'm really not spazzing here. =p really...
:] <3 |
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You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
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prettygirl
Posts:46
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| 06/27/2008 12:04 AM |
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| i totally agree wit ya emily!! i hate the boxers hanging out, that is REALLY disrespectful. but i have to admit, we can wear t-shirts that are offensive to guys too, like, 1 shirt said boys are dumb... throw rocks at them. ok, if a guy walked in wearing that but it said girls, we would totally spaz out! it can go both ways. |
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emilyjanelle
Posts:510
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| 06/27/2008 12:07 AM |
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touche! you're so right, prettygirl. those shirts are WAY dumb. thanks for that example!
:] <3 |
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You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 06/27/2008 4:02 AM |
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| Yeah, well, in my oppinion, Yes I hate shirts like that! Like there was this one that had a whole lot of writing and at the bottom it said something like "btw, while you were reading this, I've been checking out your rack..." I was completely disgusted and told my guy friend to take it off and burn it! he also got slapped! but in the case of stumbling... Shirts off definitely make girls stumble. I mean swimming at the beach is another deal, as us girls walk around in bikini's so we cant really complain in that case, I actually cant think of anything else... but I know that (and it has nothing to do with what your wearing...) when guy's throw a million signals to a girl, she gets the wrong idea and that can also cause us to stumble, like we may be tempted to dwell on something you've said and it can be just as bad as how guys stumble seeing a girl with barely anything on. I know onceI heard that for girls... Romance novels are as bad as guys looking at strippers and pole dancers etc, and I can sort of get that. Like guys dwell on appearences and girls dwell on "I wonder if he loves me, (cue the fantasy music)... |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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wjr1991
Posts:232
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| 06/29/2008 10:54 PM |
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| Well then, I guess I'm generally ok, because I don't dress that sloppily, and I don't go without a shirt except when swimming... although I wasn't aware it could reasonably be compared to a girl wearing a bikini... |
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Most of the nearly two billion children in the developing world have inadequate access to dinosaurs. Some receive no paleontology training at all. One in three has never even seen a dinosaur in person.
OVPC is an organization providing a means to an end - an end that sees children in even the most remote regions of the globe being given the motivation and adrenaline to tap into their own potential, identify with the survival needs of a global dinosaur-driven culture, and to contribute to a paleontological world community.
Support the cause at velociraptorz.org |
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coconut4life
Posts:2
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| 06/29/2008 11:02 PM |
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Hi everyone. I've had an account on here for a bit and have known about the site for a while, but never bothered.
As for the question posed, I recently got back from a mission trip in Honduras and one thing that we were told is that we would be wearing jeans most of the time, our skirts had to be to our knees, capris are okay, and we would only wear shorts (and long ones at that) to play soccer. At first this seemed really unreasonable, but after two weeks of doing this, it became normal. I'm now back in the states and the other day I went to the park in shorts. I definately felt like I was showing way too much skin and I was just plain uncomfortable. Now I'm not saying stop wearing shorts, but I would say that it is important to wear long ones. A lot of the guys admitted that short clothing made them stumble, although I know for others it doesn't. One funny thing I noticed about Honduras is they're all about covering up their legs, but a good number of them definately don't focus on covering up their chests. Just thought I'd throw in my experience and thoughts. |
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Hope139
Posts:23
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| 07/01/2008 10:19 PM |
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| Hmm, well, I would have to agree with all the girls who mention the boxer thing. It doesn't really take my mind places I don't want to go, but it is really annoying, especially when we're trying so hard to stay covered up. The shirt off thing, I don't really see it as a distraction, but then again, I'm not at the beach much with gorgeous guys! Seeing my guy friends doesn't bother me at all. Girls in bikinis, that bothers me because it just comes off as a lack of respect towards our brothers, in my mind anyway. But wrj1991, I think you're safe with the whole swimming thing I don't think shirtless guys is quite the same as girls in bikinis! |
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May the Lord bless and keep you, may His face shine upon you, and be gracious and give you peace. |
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prettygirl
Posts:46
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| 07/01/2008 11:12 PM |
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| well, i guess it depends on the guy! lol but my brother and i were getting wood for a bonfire and he goes im hot and just whips his shirt off and hangs it on a tree branch. for my, that's kinda distracting, like i have to keep reminding myself to look the guy in the eye. not lust necessarily (tho, for some girls that is a problem!) but just kinda distracting sumtimes. |
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maddiegirl
Posts:210
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| 09/06/2008 2:27 PM |
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i'd say no tanks or spaghetti straps unless u have a t-shirt or jacket or something over them and 4 shorts i'd say the bermuda shorts aren't as longas capris but they're in style and they''re not too bad
How much hw do u have this week 4 sch |
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DaughterofEve
Posts:26
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| 09/07/2008 10:32 PM |
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I know what you mean. Modest shorts are hard to find.
My shorts are 1 in. above my knees. What I've done, is I've bought pants, and I've cut thrm and made them into shorts. I can cut themto what ever length I want.
I personally don't wear tank tops, but some are ok in my book. But some are like amy too small and tight.
I don't wear spaghetti stringed stuff. I just think that's too much skin to show.
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