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Scifi
Posts:68
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| 11/28/2009 7:04 PM |
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| I really like this girl, but she isn't Christian... How do I help her become Christian without seeming like I'm doing it with a selfish motive... I know it sounds like that but she is my frend and I want her to find God but I also want her to be Christian as I have committed with myself to only date Christian girls.
Hope that made sense... |
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"The purpose of Christianity is not to avoid difficulty, but to produce a character adequate to meet it when it comes. It does not make life easy; rather it tries to make us great enough for life." -- James L. Christensen
"For a small reward, a man will hurry away on a long journey; while for eternal life, many will hardly take a single step." Thomas a' Kempis (1380-1471)
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Scifi |
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Scifi
Posts:68
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| 11/28/2009 8:04 PM |
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| Maybe this topic shoulda bn in the other box but oh well |
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"The purpose of Christianity is not to avoid difficulty, but to produce a character adequate to meet it when it comes. It does not make life easy; rather it tries to make us great enough for life." -- James L. Christensen
"For a small reward, a man will hurry away on a long journey; while for eternal life, many will hardly take a single step." Thomas a' Kempis (1380-1471)
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Scifi |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 11/28/2009 10:40 PM |
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I'm in the same spot. Though this is a guy that is already dating but I can't sit ther and watch him take the path he is.
For one do not become a Bible thumper. Don't quote a verse for everything you say (unless she's someone who wants proof for everything) People hate it when you throw verses at them. do you have a youth group that's going to do some activity you can invite her to but isn't like s deep Bible study? |
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Natalie
Posts:8
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| 11/29/2009 5:52 AM |
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First, find out how she feels about religion. If she's comfortable in her own beliefs, you can try bringing the topic up, but don't do so more than once or twice--I canot STAND it when people force their faith on me.
But if she seems genuinely interested in learning more about the Christian faith, go ahed and invite her to a youth group meeting or some sort of church event. |
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"Hope is the thing with feathers,
that perches in the soul,
and sings the tune without words
and never stops at all."
-Emily Dickinson |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 11/29/2009 12:37 PM |
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That's a really sticky situation, and I suggest you back out of it. Here's why:
Especially if you already like her, your motive for wanting her to become a Christian is so that you can date her, not necessarily only for her sake and her eternal salvation. Please don't be offended- of course you want her to believe and be saved for Christ- but can you honestly say that that is the ultimate motive in your relationship with this young woman? As a Christian, our motive for everything should be to glorify God and not to do something because "hey, maybe she'll decide that I'm cool, and she'll want to impress me, so she'll become a 'Christian.'"
I'm in a place sort of like this. A guy in one of my classes is entertaining and charming (he opens doors for me =) and we get along. It would be so easy to be a "normal" college student and go out with him... and sometimes I even wish that I wasn't different, just so that I wouldn't have this conscience telling me that going out with him would only be to entertain myself until something "better" (in this case, someone I'd be willing to marry- someone with moral and Biblical beliefs like mine) came along.
But now let me ask you something. You say that you want to date a Christian- why? Why have you made that commitment? |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 11/29/2009 1:33 PM |
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| Also, if she were to like you she may "become a christian" just to "get" you. I've seen that happen where someone changes for someone else, it looks real but when hard times come, you see the person totally fail if it wan't from the heart that they changed. It would pobably be better if it were a girl working with this girl. |
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Scifi
Posts:68
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| 11/29/2009 3:42 PM |
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| I quote her on her religious beliefs:
"I never said I don't believe in God"
(That was in response to my question of how does she explain miracles that I've seen- healings etc)
I don't quite understand what she means there but anyway....
I've decided to only date Christians because any relationship I had with a non-christian is likely to be subject to an inordinate amount of temptation or fall apart as soon as we have disagreement.
Interestingly, she seems very open to coming to youth group- I invited her to my group and she seems keen.
"Especially if you already like her, your motive for wanting her to become a Christian is so that you can date her, not necessarily only for her sake and her eternal salvation. " -quoting Adelynn
Yes, Adelynn this is my exact problem. I know what you mean, but she is a really good friend of mine now and I can hardly break up our friendship- that'd be cruel.
I also see what you mean, Clare. My youth group has a new Christians group that happens beforehand and she could in theory get help from a girl through that... |
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"The purpose of Christianity is not to avoid difficulty, but to produce a character adequate to meet it when it comes. It does not make life easy; rather it tries to make us great enough for life." -- James L. Christensen
"For a small reward, a man will hurry away on a long journey; while for eternal life, many will hardly take a single step." Thomas a' Kempis (1380-1471)
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Scifi |
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Natalie
Posts:8
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| 11/29/2009 5:43 PM |
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Mmm. I'm assuming that what she means by that is exactly what I mean when I say that.
I believe in God, just not organized religion...for the most part. She's probably justy confused, and is most likely genuinely interested in going to a youth group meeting with you and learning more about it.
If you're worried about only wanting her to be christian so you can date her, then think of it this way: Would you still care even if you weren't together anymore? Would you still worry about "saving" her even if you weren't romantically attached?
If the answer is yes, then in my book, that's a good enough reason to do what you're doing. |
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"Hope is the thing with feathers,
that perches in the soul,
and sings the tune without words
and never stops at all."
-Emily Dickinson |
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Scifi
Posts:68
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| 11/29/2009 11:50 PM |
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My answer is yes.  |
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"The purpose of Christianity is not to avoid difficulty, but to produce a character adequate to meet it when it comes. It does not make life easy; rather it tries to make us great enough for life." -- James L. Christensen
"For a small reward, a man will hurry away on a long journey; while for eternal life, many will hardly take a single step." Thomas a' Kempis (1380-1471)
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Scifi |
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