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emilyjanelle
Posts:510
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| 10/06/2008 9:56 AM |
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Okay, where to begin? 
Well, last night one of my closest guy friends (who also happens to be my one and only ex-boyfriend since early July) came over to visit for a few hours. For the past few weeks I had decided between me, myself, and I that I would try my very hardest to be polite and friendly but keep my distance from him. The pain is still there from the break-up and I still have feelings for him (I think? Ugh, sometimes I HATE being a girl! ). But it doesn't help much that he's a really loving guy, is very close to my family, and is very involved in my church/youth group, so I see him constantly.
Anyway, last night he dropped by and right before he did, I quickly prayed that God would help me watch my words and actions around him. I wasn't having 'flirting' issues with him or anything like that, but I'm still just so unsure of myself. He came over and chatted with my parents for a while. Then my mom wanted him and I to run over to the local grocery store to get some food we needed (he has his own truck). So much for trying to keep my distance from him!  Of course I had to agree (or, otherwise, make a scene). The entire time to the store (it's only five minutes away), while we were there, and on the way back, I barely said five words to him. I just couldn't bring myself to hold a conversation! In the back of my head, I guess I was just too afraid to let my feelings show? I don't even know if that's it.
So we got back to my house and, by then, he was starting to realize that I wasn't in a talkative mood. He kept joking around with my parents that I was mad at him and didn't want to talk. At one point, he left the room the four of us (my parents, him, and I) were in and my mom hissed at me, 'Emily, what's wrong? You're being a real snob.' And then I realized that I had kind of ruined the night. He had honestly done nothing wrong, but I was basically acting like he had. GAH! 
Then that night on chat, he asked me again if anything was wrong. I had to lie (because something was!) and simply say 'nothing' and make him think that I just hadn't been in a talkative mood that night. I didn't want to blab all my feelings out to him and make him feel like a load of crap, y'know? That's not right.
My question is, what do I do? How do I ride that line of being polite and friendly with him, without coming across as a total snob? Obviously, I tried it last night and blew it. But it's so hard, because I think I still have feelings for him and I don't know what to do with them! Of course, I've been giving them up to God and focusing on my relationship with Him and other things. That's the obvious thing to do. But what about other practical stuff to do while I'm around my ex? Any and all advice will be greatly appreciated from both girls AND guys! (Plus, if you even read this entire novel, I'll be proud of you, haha.) 
:] |
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You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
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smartblonde77
Posts:122
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| 10/06/2008 10:41 AM |
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thats hard when you still have feelings for a guy my first really non kndergarten boyfriend moved to Hustoon and even though its been like 3 years since we broke up i still think about him all the time but i guess since we never went through that whole see eachother things are really wierd stage i can't really help you out  sorry!  just keep going to good for the wisdom needed for that situation! (sp)  |
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~Krista
it's kinda crazy how time has a way of makein all these memories fade away so if theres only one thing you remember bout me remember that i loved you unconditionally! |
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smartblonde77
Posts:122
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| 10/06/2008 10:41 AM |
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| i mean keep going to God for the wisdom! |
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~Krista
it's kinda crazy how time has a way of makein all these memories fade away so if theres only one thing you remember bout me remember that i loved you unconditionally! |
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DaughterofEve
Posts:26
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| 10/06/2008 1:42 PM |
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Hmmm.... That's a toughy.
If it were me, I would try not to unnecessarily strike a conversation with him if I didn't have to.
But if there is a time where he talks to you, or you don't want to act like a "snob" to him in front of others, I would just try to roll with it. When you are in those situations, just take out of your mind the past you guys have had. Talk to him and about him as if he's any other guy that you have never been involved with before.
Also, if you are nice and talk to him, that will show him that you can go on with out him. It's not like you are sooooo hurt that you broke up. (Even if it is true; he doesn't need to know that). |
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http://i184.photobucket.com/albums/x50/newdaybucket/doe/LifeofDoEv2.png
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emilyjanelle
Posts:510
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| 10/06/2008 1:54 PM |
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yeaah, that's exactly what i want him to know! i don't want him confused or hurt by the fact that i'm still hurting. that's totally unnessesary.and that's great advice though, about trying to forget our past when we talk and stuff. it's definitely very hard to, but i'll keep trying!
:] |
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You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
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DaughterofEve
Posts:26
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| 10/06/2008 2:45 PM |
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| I know it will be hard. But keep trying and praying about it. :-) |
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http://i184.photobucket.com/albums/x50/newdaybucket/doe/LifeofDoEv2.png
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Nikkinikki
Posts:25
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| 10/06/2008 8:38 PM |
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Hey chicky!!!
Well, practical... You love God? Does he?
Why don't you try talk to him as an ice breaker about God.
ask what he thinks God has planned for him?
I'm not sure, and these feelings? I think that Every girl that likes someone gives a piece of their heart/emotions away to that certain guy they're with at the moment, i know i have. and even though the lord has my heart every person you love (friends, family AND boyfriends) are apart of your love and weather or not you can't really help. I Had a relationship, well the beginning of a relationship with a guy from my church and those feelings are still there but I know i don't like him, you know? i don't think i'm making sense.
Also!!
Bible. Do a bible study. try do something that will include the word. xD
Then you'll talk to him AND you'll be building a stronger foundation on God.
xx |
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I've Been Spinning Around In Circles, In A Huge Field, Hands In The Air, I Don't Care, Looking To The Sky. I'm Free. Abandoned, Submitted To God. |
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DaughterofEve
Posts:26
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| 10/06/2008 10:43 PM |
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Posted By Nikkinikki on 10/06/2008 8:38 PM
I Had a relationship, well the beginning of a relationship with a guy from my church and those feelings are still there but I know i don't like him, you know? i don't think i'm making sense.
I totally get ya. It's happened to me exactly. |
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emilyjanelle
Posts:510
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| 10/07/2008 10:29 AM |
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yeaah, i agree with both of you! you definitely made sense nikki.
i've talked to two of my closest girl friends from church and they've basically told me the same stuff. one specifically said, to just act normal around him and the normalcy will come in time. i'm finding that it's alot easier to be normal with him in group settings, like with my youth group or a bunch of friends, then when it's just with my family. probably just because we actually have to talk directly to each other when he's at my house, and at church/youth group/with friends, i have lots of other people to keep me company and i don't exactly have to hold a full blown conversation with him non-stop.
the tough part is, not knowing if i still have definite feelings for him, y'know? is is just hormones and wishing we were back together or something? and will that go away in time? i'm assuming (and hoping!) so, because he's planning to leave for YWAM in possibly Europe at the end of this school year (he's a senior now). and i would really love if my feelings for him were out of total friendship and not still nostalgic about our past! that's what i've been praying about alot, that the feelings would be taken away in these coming months, so the pain wouldn't come back as fiercely when and if he leaves.
sigh! =/ |
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You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
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maddiegirl
Posts:210
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| 10/07/2008 6:59 PM |
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| man,that's tough.ik what u mean - the feelings are there,but they're also not.seriously terribly confusing!! id say tell him you are still hurting from the breakup, and tell him youd still like to be friends, but you are hurting, tell him not to distance himself, but that you need time to heal..see what happens then. |
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Nikkinikki
Posts:25
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| 10/08/2008 12:45 AM |
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That's some great advice maddie!!
Yeah. it is hard. recently a friend of mine has had trouble with a guy.
but i know how you feel, i think a lot of girls can relate to how you're feeling.
I can't explain how I got feelings over a guy or two I think i ended up just closing my eyes and praying over and over again asking God that if those feelings aren't suppose to be there to help me take them away.
When we ask for strength He gives us a oppertunity to get stronger. maybe thats what God's trying. try look for oppertunitys to get over him if that makes sense. Like if god wants you to get over him then he'll give you a oppertunity to get over him.
xx |
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I've Been Spinning Around In Circles, In A Huge Field, Hands In The Air, I Don't Care, Looking To The Sky. I'm Free. Abandoned, Submitted To God. |
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