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Jessica
Posts:10
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| 05/30/2010 4:51 PM |
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Hey,
I have a few questions on what is and is not considerd flirting.
I have alot of guy friends and like I'll talk to them and they'll want a hug and then we say goodbye, but my question is....Is me by hugging them giving them the wrong impression that I want to be more then just friends?
I don't want them to think that I'am leading them on by hugging, because for me hugging is a way to feel closer to that person, but in this case in a friendship kind of way..
So my question is, If it will be ok hugging my guy friends or should I keep it to a hello..???
Please write soon!!
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Grant I.
Posts:184
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| 05/31/2010 2:31 AM |
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Ok, who's wanting what with the hug...? They want you to give them a hug, or you want to give them a hug? If it's them wanting you to give them a hug just because they want one, that's selfish, and they might just be wanting a "breast hug." As someone so delicately put it. If you want to give them a hug just because you love them as friends, as long as you're clear that you aren't pursuing anything further, I don't see that as a problem.
The only girls I've hugged have been my 3 "li'l sisters"(I don't have any "real" sisters), and those hugs were just to show that we cared about each other, and we were there for each other.
In answer to your question, if it's just them wanting hugs to feel your body close to theirs, knock it off. If both of you are keeping your thoughts pure, and are just wanting to show that you love/care about each other as friends, I don't see anything wrong with it. Just be careful, and think about what you're doing before you do it. Hope that helps a li'l bit...I dunno. Good luck! |
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RachelMK
Posts:3
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| 05/31/2010 4:27 AM |
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| For girls, hugging may mean something different. They see it as a display of friendship. But for guys, it can be used as a way to "feel you out". Of course, it depends on the guy. If he is a family friend your age, someone who you trust and is a good christian, loves God and sincerely cares about you as a friend, then a hug is okay. But if he is just some random guy at the school who you hardly know, and whose character is somewhat flirtatious, you should not allow yourself to be touched by him. He is just doing it to get aroused, not because he cares about you. Dont let yourself be used, Respect your body and show guys that they have to earn your trust before they can become your friend. Other than that, they shouldnt be hugging you at all. |
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"The Lord blesses those who are patient and whose eyes are focused on Him." |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 05/31/2010 8:28 PM |
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I have tonnes of guy friends, and all my friends, including the girls, practically hug each other whenever we haven't seen each other for ages. there's nothing wrong with that.
if it's really bothering you, try side hugs. there is a whole topic somewhere on the board about hugs, and what kinda hugs are tempting etc. it's got some pretty good info  |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Jessica
Posts:10
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| 06/01/2010 4:25 PM |
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Thank you guys so much for the advice.
To answer some of your questions.:
Grant, it's always the guys who initiate...Thank you so much it did help.
Rachel, well they are all people I know well like good guy friends...so thats why I didn't see the problem with it....
JoJo, it dosn't bother me that they hug me,I'll look into a book or somthing that tells me more about that kind of stuff.lol. Thank you! |
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wolf
Posts:21
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| 06/02/2010 12:37 AM |
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| I'm a boy and i have lot's of girlfriends (as in girls that are just friends.) We hug every once and awhile but dont read anything into it. Its just a display of friendship or thanks. but i suppose it depends on the guy. |
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wolf
Posts:21
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| 06/02/2010 12:38 AM |
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| I'm a boy and i have lot's of girlfriends (as in girls that are just friends.) We hug every once and awhile but dont read anything into it. Its just a display of friendship or thanks. but i suppose it depends on the guy. |
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Jessica
Posts:10
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| 06/02/2010 3:38 PM |
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Your right, it does depend on the guy.Thank you  |
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nateynate
Posts:316
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| 06/04/2010 10:46 PM |
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| Its not leading them on. Not at all unless of course you decide to hold on then you start getting somewhere with leading on and all that. But if its just a quick hello or goodbye hug, then no. Its not leading them on |
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" Wake up oh my soul
wake up and praise the Lord
rise up you sleepy soul
rise up and praise the Lord"
Enter Your Gates |
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Nicole
Posts:552
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| 06/07/2010 2:33 AM |
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Hugs I can go for- though usually I don't instigate them- only with close girl friends.  Those quick friendship hugs I like.  And side hugs, I think they're okay. |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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